exhausted, but inspired

Five days into November... and I'm officially at 6,786 words out of my 50,000 goal for November (National Novel Writing Month). Whew. The first night was the hardest. I hadn't slept much the night before, and by 9pm when everyone was in bed I soooo wanted to go to bed, too. Writing 1667 words seemed as impossible as running a marathon.
Now I promised myself (and God) that I wouldn't write without devotions first, devotions being "time devoted to God" - reading the Word and praying. So here's my first dilemma: I was so tired, it seemed like one or the other. If I do devotions, I won't have time to write, I'll be too tired. If I go ahead and write, that's breaking a promise. So I spent time with God. If He wants me to succeed at this crazy writing contest thing, He'll have to provide the energy. And He did. I started writing at 10 pm and by 11 pm I had written 1010 words! Not quite the 1667 daily average, but absolutely amazing considering that last week it took me 2 1/2 hours to write that amount. When you ask God for help, boy does He give it!
Same scenario the following night. Even better: 1212 words. I don't know if what I'm writing is any good, but I'm on a roll, now. It's exciting. Ideas are flowing. I'm starting to think I can actually do this... actually FINISH my book by the end of November. (NaNoWriMo web pages warns newbies about this first flush of exurberance... they say by week 2 we won't be quite so optimisitic)
The next day it hits me: I'm 1000 words behind already, and another 1667 to add to that to stay "caught up" - wow, it's going to be incredibly easy to fall behind in this venture. So, pray about it first. I wrote during naps. I wrote while the kids watched movies. I wrote till midnight, and I finished at 2,685 words.
Last night I managed another 1859 words, finishing at 11pm (but that's with the time change in my favor). My mind is in overdrive: even after I stopped writing and made myself go to bed, I couldn't shut my brain off. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up, physically. I had to take an hour nap this morning while the twins took their nap, and it wasn't enough. I know from past experience that when I don't get enough sleep, I get grumpy. I get short with the kids (not to mention my husband, who thinks I'm insane to try to write the equivalent of 5 pages every night: he's dreading the 8 page paper he's got two weeks left to write). It's tempting to think: so what if I'm a little grumpy for the month of November. It's just one month in my life, and one month out of the 144 to 204 months that my kids have left to put up with me. My kids probably won't even remember the Month Mom Went Nuts by next year, or even next month (especially since next month is Christmas).
But God will know.
Need to keep checking in on Him about this. At what point does it switch from being a great motivator to write, to being a vain pursuit of selfish interests?

limping along

Well, my track record for this week has not been good. Only managed to type out 1077 words since last week ... that's not even one day's worth according to what I'm supposed to be producing, an average of 1667 words per day for the month of November!

There still might be hope. I fully expected the kids to get sick sometime during the month of November to distrupt my writing goals, but they actually got sick this past week... so does that mean that now I can reasonably hope for a month free of stomach flu, colds, and teething?

I may not have accomplished much "warming up" for the month of intense writing yet, but I have been doing better as far as "spiritual warm-ups". I have been praying more, a lot more! And doing a little better with Bible reading, too. I find it is so much easier to accomplish goals if I first take the time to pray about them, rather than just jumping in... and then quickly burning out. Prayer is definitely the "power bar" to keep you going for the long haul.

I signed myself up for NaNoWriMo (good grief)

Took my revised chapter 1 from last week to writer's group and had my three sympathetic writing addicts read it outloud. There is something about having someone else read your work outloud that really shouts at you, "this is good!" or "this is crap!" Unfortuately, I'm afraid it came out sounding somewhere in between - sophomoric, perhaps. Fluffy, almost. I really need to start out with something with more bite. Yeah, it's a story with talking animals, so that means no matter what it'll be marketed for kids, but I'm NOT writing for 6 year olds here. I am writing for kids who will most likely have read Harry Potter and want something a little edgy, with touches both of light and dark.

Read this in one of my writing newsletters and was intrigued enough to waste a couple hours on the website, culminating in signing myself up:

Yes we're drawing nearer and nearer that wonderful, creative, neurotic month where we celebrate, we laugh, we cry, and wemanically write until our brains melt out of our heads. We spend all night at the computer screen, and the next daytrying to shut off an overactive imagination long enough to accomplish our responsibilities. We struggle with time and energy constraints, over caffeination, sleep deprivation, and sometimes the frustration of a blank space where our thoughts should be. For the writers in the audience they know what I'm referring to. It's the month of frenzied writing. It's the month where we type until our fingers are numb. It's the month we ignore the garish marks of the spell checker telling our inner critic to shout at us, so that we will stop and edit. It's the month we push forward with one goal in mind: 50,000 words in 30 days. Which breaks down to roughly 1,667 words a day give or take a few. Yes, you guessed it. I'm referring to NaNoWriMo - http://nanowrimo.org (National Novel Writing Month). NaNoWriMo was founded in 1999 as a way to encourage everyone who wants to write a book, to do that very thing. Why? Becuase it's tons of fun!

Tons of fun? Well, in theory, I can agree. In practice... well, just to see how much I really *COULD* write in one day, I stared writing Friday night at 10:00pm when every one was in bed, and 2 1/2 hours later when I could push myself no further, I had just barely squeaked out 1,011 words. That's still 600 some words short -- and I have to acknowledge there's no way I can stay up past midnight every day of the month of November and still treat my family with any degree civility. But -- hey, even if I only manage to write 500 words a day, or even 200, that's still more than I'm accomplishing now. I did finish section 43 this week (my goal), largely thanks to that intense writing session Friday night.

I know should have prayed about this endeavor before signing myself up. Story of my life: leap first, check in with God later. Fortunately God's still in control, no matter which direction I go galloping off in. But He did make it very clear to me: if you're going to make a commitment to write every day for the month of November, you're also going to make a committment to Me: you're going to pray and read the Word every day, too - BEFORE you start writing. After all, I'm much more likely to succeed (and succeed in not having the rest of my life fall apart during this time, as well) if I'm in direct communication with the Creator of the universe, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light (1 Tim 6:16).

A good week

The good news: by Tuesday last week I had not only finished section 42, but also went back and rewrote my first chapter, really working on developing the friendship (and tension) between my two main characters, Selty and Arrasin. N.L., my main critiquer and writing buddy, had said that the friendship between them was not believable; and it was true. This may likely be my 12th version of chapter 1 (or more), but even more likely it won't be the last version. The first chapter has GOT to hook the reader.

The bad news: I haven't written anything since last Tuesday. A little weekend getaway to Glenwood Springs, with my laptop, was supposed to yield much creativity... but instead I got sucked into reading "The Island" by Victoria Hilsap. That book was way too good (now I want to go to the Greek isles). Oh, and it was written in omniscient perspective. Classic storytelling. I'm so envious... why are all the great books, the bestsellers, in omniscient perspective? They tell us newbies to stick to close 3rd person. I guess we're just not ready to handle ominscience yet!
Goal for this week: start & finish section 43 (that's 43 out of 80 outlined sections, roughly 40 chapters. I used the Marshall plan to outline my book)

Time for me to get serious about writing again

The twins are 10 months old now... they are starting to play together, (sort of. Does hair pulling count?) Anyway, time for me to get serious about writing again. Renewed my membership with online writing group. Dusted off the laptop. Looked over my outline. Opened the last chapter I finished and grimaced (but time for revisions, later).
Possible writing times: 6:00 am-7:00am (but, I am not a morning person)
10:00 am 11:00 am - babies' morning nap (if I can avoid the temptation to make the bed, do the dishes, laundry, or any other pressing chore)
2:00-4:00 pm - babies' afternoon nap (might be problematic when kindergartener gets off the bus at 3:00 and wants to tell me all about her adventures)
9:00 pm-11:00 pm - everyone else is in bed. I would like to be in bed, too. But, I am a writer. I can do this!
Today's goal: finish section 42

horses

Last updated March 2012

I was one of those kids growing up who was always begging her parents for a horse. Unfortunately, I was a city kid (downtown Buffalo, NY), and it just wasn't practical to keep a horse in the backyard or at the expensive city stables. But, I did get riding lessons, and finally when I was 22 I was able to buy a horse of my very own, Rebel. I still have him, in fact, and I consider myself very lucky because over the years Rebel has been transported from his native New York to South Carolina, then to Wyoming, to South Dakota, and finally back to Wyoming. He is very old now (27 years) but he is still my favorite horse to ride.

He is a small mixed-breed, probabably mostly Quarter Horse, but some people have said he looks like he has some Morgan in him, and other people have asked me if he is a Mustang. He is only 14 hands tall, a beautiful golden bay color, and true to his name, he has a bit of stubborn streak in him.

Here's a picture of Rebel from 2006, with two of my daughters and two of their cousins... he's a great kids' horse.














I grew up riding English and showing in hunter classes, transitioning to dressage and eventing in my twenties. I haven't shown since I got married in 1999, but absolutely one of my most favorite things to do is trail-riding, which I can do a lot of since we moved to a house on the edge of town, with lots of open space. Now I'm transitioning again due to my husband and daughters' interest in Western sports like team roping, barrel racing, and Western pleasure. Here's a video of Blaze chasing cows (February, 2009)



A couple years ago I bought a yearling filly here in Wyoming, and I named her after a fictional horse, Jewel, in one of my favorite books, Mary O'Hara's "Green Grass of Wyoming" (a sequel to her famous "My Friend Flicka").

Jewel looks a lot like Rebel - same bay, same size - but she actually is a genuine Wyoming Mustang. She was completely wild when I got her and was a lot of fun gentling her and training her.

Here's picture of her, from 2007, with my stepdaughter, who helped train her.














My husband also loves horses. He started out as a bareback bronc rider in high school rodeo, but he's currently into team-roping and penning. He likes to train young horses and then sell them as finished ropers (he's sold three so far and we have another one ready to sell) but there's one horse, Ally, that he's getting really attached too - it's going to be hard to sell her, especially since she's really good with the kids, too.

Here are some of my posts about horses:

Horse shows, and a ride by moonlight (June, 2009)

The Character of horses and humans (February, 2009)

Are the toys (and horses) in heaven? (March, 2009)

Blaze barrel-racing (July, 2008)

This is a really sentimental flashback - me riding Rebel back in 1997, right before
my parents sold our farm in West Falls, NY and moved to South Carolina

The details and quirks of everyday life

Last updated May, 2009

One of the traits of a writer is that no matter where they go or what they do, they are almost obssessively writing things down. I've had one friend shake her head at me, in amusement, or frustration? - and say to me, "stop writing everything I say down!" (Sorry, K.A.)

Sometimes what somebody just said sparks an idea; sometimes it's completely unrelated but I just had a great idea for a new story, or a way to develop a character, or enhance a setting, or a funny event I might be able to work into a scene that needs a little bit of a humorous facelift.

But a lot of times I jot things down just because I want to remember them. "Life is in the details" - forgot who that famous quote is attributed to; but I love all the beautiful, funny, quirky, bizarre things that life throws at me, and I love digging out my old notes, or scanning my journals every few years or so and laughing at the memories.

Recently I discovered a new note posted on the office door of one of the many, many offices I walk by everyday in my work building, on the way to my own office. I love it when people put cartoons or pictures or other fun stuff up on their office doors. This one said:

Don't make me get my flying monkeys!

This has amused me for weeks, everytime I walk by it. I even borrowed it once as a status update on my Facebook page.

I love reading Beth Moore's blog because she gets the same kick out of little moments that I do. For instance, here's a couple recent gems from her:

I dig airports. Great people watching. I've been sipping on my Starbucks and taking it all in. I just love watching people walk through the terminals with their neck pillows still on. It brings me a ton of joy.

To this day, Travis Cottrell still brings up the fact that I made him help me stuff a piñata with Scripture verses written on little pieces of paper while we were driving from the church to the restaurant. I didn’t even realize it was weird until our next speaking engagement when he laughed until he cried and had to hold his side.

A few more examples...

Christmas, New Years, Weddings, Hanging Beds, Parrots, Drinking Games, and other assorted adventures (January, 2009)

Fist deep in cake (December, 2008)

Thing 1 and Thing 2 (February, 2008)

Are there toys (and horses) in heaven? (March, 2009)

Two birthdays, two haircuts, and a broken arm (May 2009)