What I'm learning, and a dream revisited

What I'm thankful for - I've seen other people post "30 days of thanksgiving" in November on
Facebook, and I decided to do it this year (I'll sum it up in my 1000 gifts list, coming soon). But here are a few highlights: trips to Buffalo and Seattle. Getting to visit my stepdaughter, Stars (her screen name) and old friends.  My parents 50th anniversary.

What I'm struggling with - rising prices, B.'s hours at work cut back, realizing I can't afford some of the things I really want. I love to travel, but it's so expensive! B. and I were able to "piggyback" on my travel to Pittsburgh this fall for a conference for work; work paid for my plane ticket, so all we had to pay for was his plane ticket, a rental car and two nights hotel so that I could revisit my hometown, Buffalo and take B. around to all my old favorite places and visit some old friends. That short trip was a financial strain though. I realized then, we can't really afford to do this anymore.

What God is teaching me - I have this constant debate in my head: should I go back to work full time? I feel so blessed being able to work part time and home school, but it's hard to give up travel, and it's hard to give up little luxuries. For instance, I really want a new winter coat... I've had the same coat for 10 years now. (Good thing it's an LL Bean - it's still in incredible shape! Bean stuff lasts forever!) But other demands always come along: needing to get my daughter a winter coat, for instance. Or having to replace our printer. On the other hand, it's pretty awesome that whenever I really do need something it's always provided. That winter coat that Blaze needed? We found an absolutely gorgeous shearling coat for $10 at a consignment store. And as for giving up travel? Since Stars moved to Seattle this summer, we've been wanting to visit her, but we couldn't afford both the trip to Buffalo and to Seattle. But then the airlines gave B. a $500 voucher because his flight to Pittsburgh was overbooked and he got bumped to a later flight. And guess how much two tickets to Seattle cost? Yup, almost exactly $500. So we got to go to Seattle for a wonderful weekend visit with Stars. I just love how God works these things out.

It's hard as the financial strain increases,  but it's also amazing to see how God not only works it out to provide our needs, but even gives us our "wants" too, above and beyond needs.

Where I am in the Word - After a long stretch where I put aside Beth Moore's studies in order to study the Word on my own (1 and 2 Thessalonians), I'm now back to working through Beth Moore's "To Live is Christ" (the book of Acts).

Acts 23:10,11  And as a great dissension was developing, the commander was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces by them and ordered the troops to go down and take him away from them by force, and bring him into the barracks. But on the night immediately following, the Lord stood at his side and said, "Take courage; for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem, so you must witness at Rome also."

First of all, I'd never noticed before that simple statement, "the Lord stood at his side" and spoke to him. That gave me happy chills! Second of all, Beth Moore really challenged us to think about Paul's calling to Rome. Paul knew without a doubt that he would be God's witness at Rome; the Lord himself had stood beside him and told him! But he doesn't actually get to Rome for at least another two years, and then he arrived in chains. The study asked this question: 

"Can you think of something God revealed to you but that took years to fulfill?" 

I thought about this for a while, and then I remembered a dream I had about my parents, over 5 years ago.  In a nutshell, we were at a dinner with my parents, and a Christian friend of mine asked my parents if they knew Jesus. And they said they did! Even my father! And in the dream, I knew absolutely that they weren't just saying that; they really believed. They had saving faith. 

Was that dream a promise from God? I can't say absolutely for sure: but I CAN say it wasn't sent by Satan, that's for sure! I still have faith that this wonderful thing will happen: my parents will confess saving faith. I don't know if it will happen like it did in my dream, and I don't know WHEN it will happen... but I am going to stubbornly cling to my belief that it WILL happen, someday, somehow.

But faith can't just be passive. I need to share the Word with my parents. I haven't, for a whole year now, even though that last time I got to share with them was absolutely amazing! (the story of that is here) But it's time again now to put some action along with faith.  

James 2:21,22: But was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 

In September and October, Blaze and Dreamer and I were reading Voice in the Wind, by Francine Rivers. That book is just amazing for raising good things to discuss with the girls about marriage, being unequally yoked, belief and sin, not to mention history (it's set after the fall of Jerusalem, in ancient Rome and Ephesus). It's one of my all time favorite books and I've read it at least 5 times now; the girls loved it too (and are begging me to read the sequel, now). At one point near the end as I was reading to the girls, a conversation between Marcus and Hadassah moved me to tears (pages 426-428, which is based on the story of guards at the tomb in Matthew 28, and how they were bribed). Marcus is trying to prove to Hadassah how useless her faith in her unseen God is. And meanwhile her heart is breaking as she sees how lost and unhappy he is. His arguments were ones my father would approve of: all the reasons why he thinks its foolish to believe in Christianity. To every Biblical defense Hadassah gave, Marcus had a smart and worldly answer. Until Hadassah turns to Marcus's dying father and asks him this: 

"If you stare into the sun and look away, you see the sun, my lord. If you stare at death, you see death. Where does hope lie?" 

His eyes flickered. He leaned back slowly. "I have no hope."

Marcus turned. He saw the dullness in his father's eyes, the pain etched in his face. Marcus was suddenly filled with deep shame. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe it was better to have false hope than no hope at all.

This broke my heart, because my father is slowly dying of Parkinson's. He does not speak of it, but he must be looking at death: what hope does he have?  I have hope that transcends death, and I must keep sharing it with him. I keep praying for the courage to share, and praying for God to work His miracle, and lift the veil so my father can finally see the truth. 

My plan for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow is to share Isaiah 61:1-3 with my parents:

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. 

What I'm reading-I haven't read anything on my own in November because it's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I'm concentrating on my writing. But for school, I've been reading Anne of Green Gables to the girls (more about that below). In October I read C.S. Lewis's Letters to Children (I can't let a year go by without reading C.S. Lewis!) and I finished reading the Magician's Nephew to the girls as our bedtime story. (More great discussion with the girls about this story: saving that for my 1000 gifts list, coming soon)

What I'm writing -While I wait to hear back from four agents (!!!!) who requested pages of my science fiction manuscript (thanks to #pitmad and #pitchwars) I am keeping myself occupied by getting back to work on my very first of my four stories, my "baby." Here's what I wrote to my writing buddy N.L.W.:  "I'm really stuck on the Valley. Your first book is your hardest and man this book is hard. I have this vision in my head of what I want it to be, but I can't even fully articulate it much less write it. Good news though: I tried my old trick of journaling out my frustrations and it really helped. Right after that I started to get ideas again."

What's both hurt and helped me this month is that the girls and I have been reading Anne of Green Gable for school. It's hard to be reading such excellent literature (and I do consider it literature!) when you are struggling to write your own; everything I write comes out so weak in comparison. L.M. Montgomery's characters are so dramatic and real; even quiet Matthew shines. Her settings are  magical. Anne's rapturous descriptions still make me smile, and her escapades make us all laugh and make the girls beg me to keep reading! This book is really pushing me to make my book better: to really dig deep, to find my passion and pour it out. To really examine my characters and play their hearts out across the page; to really look at my settings and find not just the beauty, but the mood; and what the beauty means; what the moods mean.

What I'm anticipating - being home for Thanksgiving. I love to travel, but I also love to be at home!

What's inspiring me - Anne of Green Gables and my writing are inspiring me on my creative side. My bible study in Acts is providing spiritual inspiration. My Overeaters Anonymous group provides me with strength and inspiration in the physical realm. We now have 5 regular attendees!  One of them (J) shared last week about how compulsive eating fogs up his mind and puts him in survival mode, where it's all about him and he doesn't have anything left over for other people. But when he's eating mindfully, not compulsively, he finds both clarity of mind and delight in focusing on others. That is so true for me, too. Our greatest fulfillment comes not from pleasing ourselves, but from pleasing the others in our lives.

1000 gifts: autumn in upstate New York

I'm finally catching up with my 1000 gifts list. I write these for myself and for my family. I don't expect anyone else to read all these details (this month's list is especially long!!!), but I decided to leave these posts "public" just in case they might inspire someone else someday to start keeping a gifts list. Keeping this list has changed my life.

These gifts are from October, and most are from my trip to Pittsburgh for a cartography conference for work, followed by my husband flying out to meet me and then the two of us taking our belated 15th anniversary treat, a visit to my hometown of Buffalo in western New York and beautiful Letchworth State Park.

902. Three days of beautiful maps and inspiration
I wish I'd taken pictures of some of the beautiful/useful/interesting/inspiring maps I saw at this conference (NACIS: North American Cartographic Information Society annual meeting)

903. Dramatic tunnels and bridges of Pittsburgh 
I've never been here before, and it really impressed me! The downtown area is on a small triangle of land at the confluence of the Monongahela and Allegheny Rivers, merging into the Ohio River. Driving into Pittsburgh is so dramatic: you plunge into a tunnel through the high river bluffs, then out immediately onto a bridge crossing the river. There are at least 5, maybe 6 bridges connecting downtown Pittsburgh. I walked across three of them.

904. The National Aviary
My last day in Pittsburgh I visited the National Aviary and got to see some amazing aerial displays and a huge range of exotic birds up close (even got "buzzed" twice by low swooping birds). Highly recommend.

905. Waiting for my love at the airport
B. flew out after the conference to meet me, and he was going to get the rental car and come pick me up at the hotel, but I was tired of waiting so I paid for a shuttle back to the airport so I could be there to meet him. It was wonderful after being alone all day to look up and see him coming down the escalator smiling at me.

906.  Maximus - our rental car upgrade
B. was really excited when we got a free upgrade for our rental car to a Maxima, which he nicknamed Maximus. It was definitely fun to drive and I really, really like the sunroof! Unfortunately, the motel I booked in Buffalo was a dive, but at least it was the only low point of the trip.

907.  Erie Basin Marina and Lighthouse
One of the first of many of my favorite places in Buffalo that we went to visit. Here I am up at the top of the lighthouse overlooking Lake Erie on one side and downtown Buffalo on the other. Must have climbed up here hundreds of times as a kid.

908. Living on the waterfront for two years
From 1982-1984 my parents and I lived in one of those white condos right on the edge of the marina where we kept our sailboat.

909. Delaware Park
This is the park where I spent so much of my childhood and teen years. I was on the cross-country team for my high school and ran many, many miles around Delaware Lake and also around the golf course part of the park.

909. Japanese Garden
Another favorite place in Buffalo. My high school senior pictures were taken here; here's one with a good friend of mine from high school, Maureen, whom I'm still in touch with. And my beloved golden retriever, Leia (named after Princess Leia, from Star Wars!)

910. My house during my high school years, "Haleigh"
This is where I dragged B. next. Actually, he's been here before, because our wedding pictures were also taken at this house on Morris Ave in north Buffalo. The top picture is of the house as it is today (unchanged!), and me and my dad on the staircase of the house in 1999 right before my wedding. Can't remember exactly where I came up withe name Haleigh, but I thought it was really cool to name a home.

911. my last home in New York, Windwood Farm
Next we traveled about 40 minutes south into the beginning of the hill country, to my favorite home, where my parents moved during my college years (I lived there just short of 2 years).  It hasn't been a real farm in many years, but it is still 40 acres, mostly forested (and a pond right next to the house). This is where I got my first horse, Rebel, and rode him all over the country side. I also visited my friend Sue who still lives on the road behind ours. We used to ride our horses together.

912. My old backyard forest and stream
We hiked back into the woods behind our old house and Sue's house. B. and I scrambled down the steep ravine so he could get this picture of me along the little stream I called "the Roamer." My mom and I loved to stream-walk along here.

913. Viddlers 5 & 10 store
This is my favorite store in East Aurora, one of the  little towns near Windwood Farm. It as a real ol' timey feel.

914. brick roads
I'd forgotten that part of Main St. East Aurora was paved in brick. I love brick roads!

915. Greek gyros at my old high school hangout
After dragging B. all over city and countryside, we met another old friend, Heidi, and her family at our old hang out, Kostas on Hertel Avenue - oh how I miss good Greek gyros! (they are hard to come by in Wyoming)

916. friends for forty years
Heidi and I have been friends for 40 years (almost, just shy a year) - we became friends in kindergarten, 5 years old. Here we are in 2014, and 21 years ago at a New Years Eve party.

917.  Not needing the umbrella I just bought
Our second day in Buffalo, I planned for us to drive to Letchworth State Park and hike around the beautiful waterfalls there... but when we woke up it was raining. We decided to go on the hike anyway, so we stopped and bought a big umbrella - but about 10 minutes later the skies cleared up and it turned into a perfect sunny day!

918. the falls at Letchworth State Park
There are at least 3 big waterfalls at Letchworth, about an hour from Buffalo. I remember when my mom first brought me there as a kid, I was stunned by the beauty of the gorge and the river and falls (this picture doesn't do them justice!), which I think are even more dramatic than nearby Niagara Falls. Nevertheless, I couldn't resist including a picture of B. and I at Niagara Falls right before we got married.

919. lizard road crossing 
While I'm generally known as being horse crazy, I also have this odd soft spot in my heart for lizards, so I simply had to take a picture of this snake and lizard wildlife crossing sign at Letchworth State Park!

920. sugar maples, hemlocks and giant old oaks
My three favorite trees that I don't get to see in Wyoming. I'd forgotten that it's the sugar maples that turn really bright red during eastern autumns.

921. autumn scent of fallen leaves
I could have lumped this in with gift #920, but I think it deserves a spot of its own

922. Mood rings
We stopped at the Letchworth gift shop and bought a souvenir ball cap (for B) and mug (for me) and I bought mood rings for the four girls; I remember loving the changing colors of these rings when I was a kid and sure enough, my kids loved them too when we got back home. (Many thanks to my parents for watching the kids while we were gone)

923. Route 20A
I think this is one of the most beautiful roads in western New York, between East Aurora and Letchworth.  Even the giant wind turbines that have been built on the hilltops couldn't detract from its beauty.

923. Names of places where I grew up
Meadowview Place, Medaille, St Josephs, Depew Avenue, Harbor Pointe, Erie Basin Marina, Morris Ave, Buffalo Saddle & Bridle Club, Delaware Park, Nottingham Ct, Amherst St, Buffalo Zoo, Parkside Lutheran, Voorhees Ave, Starin Ave, Hertel Ave, Bob & Johns, BQuick (now Dash's), East Aurora, Colden, Mill Rd, Falls Rd, Bleistein Rd, Hayes Hollow Rd, Maple Rd, Center Rd, Blanchard Rd.

924. Buffalo wings
Our last night in Buffalo we stayed with my college friend, Dianna, and her family, and feasted on Buffalo wings... couldn't miss out on this most famous food from Buffalo!

925. Perfect weather for visitors and Indian summer riding
Then we flew home again, but we brought Dianna's two daughters, Corally (15) and Kalyn (11) with us to hang out with us for a week. We had perfect weather and took our visitors horse back riding almost every day. After a rainy, cold August/early September, all of October was warm and sunny, a perfect Indian summer.

926. wood hauling team (with ice cream afterwards)
Our two visitors were so helpful! They even helped us load firewood and I dare say hauled a lot more logs than my four girls combined.

927. Riding in the back of the pickup
Of course the pickup was full of wood on our way out of the forest, though at one point some of us chose to get out of the pickup and walk (there was one stretch where the road was so steep and narrow, I was too scared to be in that heavily loaded truck with its equally loaded trailer, esp. when another vehicle came the opposite direction and B. had to squeeze pass them. But the road had stunning views of the Centennial valley, so I didn't mind walking for a little bit).

928. Playing dominos
The girls must have played a dozen games of dominos together (Mexican train dominos is one of our family favorites!)

 929. Doing home school with friends
Kalyn and Corally are also home schooled, and it was interesting to see what they do for school (I got some good ideas). They were a pleasure to have, very polite and helpful, and I was amazed at how they tackled their school assignments on their own, without any prodding from me. Much more motivated than my girls! They were bookworms too, and such strong Christians - great examples of faith to the girls. They were even keen to come to church with us.

930. Sketchbooks
Last but not least I loved that our visitors both brought sketch books with them; whenever they weren't reading they were usually sketching, and they were both extremely talented. It got Blaze and Dreamer motivated to draw more  (wish our friends' reading habits had also spread to my girls too)

931. Starlet crying when Kalyn and Corally left 
Too sweet not to include. We all hope the girls can come back again!

932. Wanting to keep awful uncle Andrew as a pet
Finished reading the Magician's Nephew to the girls, and we completely cracked up over the part where the Narnian Talking Animals are trying to figure out if Digory's uncle is alive or not, and what sort of animal he might be, and then they decide they want to keep him as a pet!

933. October tomatos
My mom grew some tomato plants in her backyard, but we had such a cold summer (and such an oddly warm October) that she didn't harvest them until mid-October. Only in Wyoming! (but oh my, they were good!)

934. "But Tuffy and I are one!"
Again, October was so nice that we got to ride out on the cross-country course for practice. This was Dreamer's first time jumping the beginner jumps on this course, and she and Tuffy did great, all except for one moment when Tuffy spooked at a stray grocery bag  that was caught in a bush. Dreamer handled it just fine, until she saw B. and I laughing, which upset her. We told her we were laughing at the horse spooking at an empty plastic bag, not her, she exclaimed, "But Tuffy and I are one!"

935.  Halloween horse show (riding in costumes)
There was a costume class where the girls all got to ride in their costumes, even the twins. Dreamer also got to jump Tuffy at her first real horse show. Tuffy gave her some trouble at one of the fences but she didn't give up and kept bringing back around to the jump until she got him over it. So proud of her. Also proud of Blaze as she and Spring competed over the biggest jumps they've yet jumped (3 footers!) - and their first timed jump-off.

936. Sailor girls, flapper girls, ninjas and pilgrims
I loved this year's set of costumes, even though Blaze opted to wear the same costume as last year. Next year I'm going to try to get her to dress up either in a viking girl costume (like Astrid, from How To Train Your Dragon) or a Maleficent costume.

937. Blaze asked me to read the Bible to her before bed
Blaze confessed she'd watched a scary Halloween video on YouTube, and she was so scared she couldn't sleep in her own room but back in her old room that she shared with Dreamer until this summer when she turned 13 and moved down into the basement room. (I wouldn't want to sleep alone in a basement room after a scary movie either!) But even sharing the room with her sister couldn't get her settled. So she asked me to come up with her and read the Bible with her before bed. We took turns reading the first three chapters of John.

Simply sitting in a beautiful place

This post isn't a book review, it's really how a book helped me discover something about myself I'd almost forgotten. And it also provided refreshment for a time when I've been struggling with doubt. I was warned that there would be seasons of doubt with home schooling, and this fall has certainly been one.  I'm struggling to balance my part time job and school (feel like I'm always rushing from one thing to the next!); struggling with finances as the cost of everything continues to increase (and our wages decrease!); struggling with a teenage daughter that argues with me about everything I ask her to do (at least, it feels that way). 

But there are good times along the way, too. Some days we have great discussions about books we've read or about science we're learning; some days I get surprise hugs;  some days I'm blown away by the connections the girls make with things they're learning presently and what they've learned in the past. Some days, I discover a wonderful treasure like Pocketful of Pinecones, by Karen Andreola. This book was a wonderful reminder that you don't have to travel far or attempt great things in order to find delight and wonder in the world, or to help our children see it either. 

The book is "a teacher's guide to nature study, cleverly disguised as a heartwarming story written in the form of a mother's diary" (set in 1935-36). I didn't feel like I was being taught about different home school techniques; I was simply reading a story... and learning along the way.

Before the great busyness of marriage and motherhood took over my life, I used to constantly be out hiking and camping, looking things up in my nature guides as I went, or just simply sitting in a beautiful wild place. I didn't sketch anything, as this book recommends, but I was always journaling, writing about everything beautiful that caught my eye, or my heart (I called such inspiration "Skya" - and when it fired up my imagination to write stories, I called that inspiration "Akina," a "keen urge to write"). The book reminded me of my own great love of learning about nature through simply being outside in the midst of it, soaking it up, and taking time to observe all the details. 

I have missed that stage of my life so much, but immediately after beginning this book I took the morning off from homeschooling, picked up two sketch books and a pack of colored pencils, and drove my girls and I up to the nearby Medicine Bow National Forest. How often have I appreciated that we can be from the city into the wilderness in just a 15 minute drive? Into beautiful places like the beaver ponds off of Happy Jack road, or the amazing rock formations of Vedauwoo. The girls sketched trees, stumps, acorns, birds, and squirrels. I sat on a rock in the center of a tiny creek and watched golden leaves float past me, listened to hawk calls and felt moss under my fingertips and smelled sun-warmed pines. My ten year old asked me to carry some pinecones she’d found in my pocket, as her pockets were already full. That made me smile – a Pocketful of Pinecones, indeed. 

We go to Happy Jack and Vedauwoo quite frequently, but it's been a long time since I've slowed down to really soak it in. To take time to notice all the details. For some reason this also reminded me how at the beginning of the school year I taped up a pretty piece of note paper on my cupboard door where I keep my tea cups, so I would remember to look at it every day: it's a simple list of things I want to remember to do. Like remembering to sing a song to my girls when I tuck them in at night. Remembering to share my favorite verses with them. Remembering to be a help-meet to B. Every morning I open that cupboard and get a mug and a teabag, and stand there waiting for the electric kettle to boil. I just stand there... but how often do I remember to look at my note? It's right here in front of me! How easy it is to miss what is right in front of you! 

A bit more about the book: the fictional diary of Carol begins in 1935 in New England, as she begins to teach her two children about nature study in city backyards and parks, and transitions to the countryside later in the book. She writes a little about Charlotte Mason and her philosophy and methods of home school, which seem simple and yet wonderfully wise. The diary includes good days and bad days, happy days and sad ones, wash days and canning days, snowshoeing days and sleigh ride days, shopping days and simple stay at home days. Carol writes of many things that would worry a mom in the 1930's and that continue to worry moms in the present.

Some of my favorite parts: 

My students have a lifetime ahead of them in which to observe and discover – to become self-educated in their leisure, so to speak. My job is to allow their feet to walk the paths of wonder, to see that they form relations with various things, so that when the habit is formed, they will carry an appreciation for nature with them throughout their lives.

When asked about why she’d taken her children out of school: 

I don’t know how to fully explain my desire to teach my children at home myself. The classes in the school are so large and Emily was labeled as “slow” in reading and arithmetic, but it’s more than that. Don was losing his sense of wonder. He was bored. It seemed that his lights were going out, for lack of a better expression. Emily and Dan were losing a spark of curiousity and a love of knowledge that they had when they first started school. I wanted to get it back. And I think I am getting it back by homeschooling....

Another quote: 

I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders more tightly and stood in the doorway of the children’s bedroom, brooding over them while they slept. I sometimes do this at home when Michael works late. It gives me comfort and it’s easier to pray for them this way.

 Ah, thank you Lord for a good book to remind me to simply sit and soak up the beauty you put everywhere: whether in a golden autumn forest, by kitchen cupboard, or outside my children's bedrooms late at night. 

1000 gifts: favorite verses and the Magician's Nephew

I'm finally catching up with my 1000 gifts list. These gifts are from September.

888. Mutton busting
Dreamer, Serious and Starlet got to try riding a sheep (mutton busting) for the first time at a Labor Day ranch rodeo - discovered it's a lot harder staying on a sheep than on a horse!

889. Baby lizard
Also at the ranch rodeo the girls found a baby horned lizard, barely an inch long

890. B. reading The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian
In one day, no less! I've only known B. to read one other book (one of C.J. Box's Wyoming mysteries) since we've been married, and I've never known him to read anything so fast. We both absolutely loved this book, it is so funny and a little sad, too... about a 14 year old Native boy who leaves the Spokane reservation to go to high school in a neighboring white community where he can get more opportunities - but at the cost of being rejected by his friends on the Rez

891. A bright sunny morning after the rain. Glistening streets and sidewalks

892. Keeping track of triumphs
This is something I learned at an OA meeting: looking for little (or big) triumphs during the day: resisting temptation

893. Sharing my favorite verses for home school
 We've been studying each book of the Bible, the major themes and events, and also my own favorite verse from each book (based on my highlights over the years). Here's my list so far

Genesis 50:19,20 Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Exodus 14:14  The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Leviticus 9:23,24  The glory of the Lord appeared to all the people. Fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed the burnt offering...when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell face down.

Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Deuteronomy 6:4-7: Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Joshua 1:8,9  Do not let this Book depart from your mouth; meditate upon it day and night so that you may be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord Your God will be with you where ever you go.

Ruth 2:12  May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge. (love the imagery of the Lord having wings!)

894. The stars singing in the Magician's Nephew
One day during home school I shared a verse that had recently stirred my heart during my daily reading (Deut. 32:10-13:  how the Lord carried Israel like an eagle that stirs up its nest [stirs up our lives] and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them, and carries them on its pinions" - and told them my hope was that someday God would show them special verses that would become their favorites, too. Dreamer asked me to share the verses God gave me when I got saved, so I read Job 38:1-8 to them.

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:
“Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?

And Blaze said, "Oh that's like the part in the Magician's Nephew when Aslan sang the stars into existence and the stars joined in his song!"  When we had read this part a few weeks earlier, I had mentioned how this part of the story meant so much to me, but it was especially wonderful to have Blaze remember it, too!

 Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices; more voices than you could possibly count. They were in harmony with it, but far higher up the scale: cold, tingling, silvery voices. The second wonder was that the blackness overhead, all at once, was blazing with stars. They didn’t come out gently one by one, as they do on a summer evening. One moment there had been nothing but darkness; next moment a thousand, thousand points of light leaped out – single stars, constellations, and planets, brighter and bigger than any in our world. There were no clouds. The new stars and the new voices began at exactly the same time. If you had seen and heard it , as Digory did, you would have felt quite certain that it was the stars themselves who were singing, and that it was the First Voice, the deep one, which had made them appear and made them sing

895. Trail ride in the fall colors of Happy Jack, just B. and I

896. B. fixing my car's brakes and saving us so much money

897. Pop up camper
B. bought me a used pop up camper last year, and we finally got to use it this September when we visited his sister Melissa's home in Kansas. We all loved it!!! It fit our  family just perfectly and was surprisingly roomy and comfy to sleep in, but it still has that "tent" feeling to it that I love, closer to nature than a regular hard sided camper (those feel too enclosed for me).

898. the Mommy tax
On the long drive back from Kansas, whenever we would stop for snacks, I'd ask the girls to share just a little of their treats with me - we call it the "mommy tax"

899. Blaze's first "three phase event"
We missed the Laramie three-phase event earlier in September because we were in Kansas, but we able to make it to the one in Cheyenne at the end of September for Blaze to compete in. Eventing involves three phases: dressage, cross-country jumping and show jumping. Blaze loves the cross-country phase, which is where the jumps are spread out over a large (several mile long) course and include obstacles like water jumps, ditches, jumping off banks, and jumping uphill and downhill.

Blaze and Spring practicing at the warm-up jump at the Cheyenne event

900. the darklight
One of my favorite part of autumn are glimpses of "the darklight" you get in a forest when the sunlight shines down through changing autumn leaves and evergreen trees. I got a glimpse of this magical light on one of our trail rides and then again when I took the girls up to Happy Jack with their nature notebooks. I snuck off on my own, while the girls were on their assignment to sketch, to enjoy the peace and quiet and lose myself in the beauty. I first remember doing this when I was in 6th grade and my class spent an over night at a lodge in the woods. On a nature walk I purposefully fell behind everyone else so I could on a little footbridge over a stream and just soak up the beautiful autumn. Later in high school on another school trip to Allegheny State Park, I went off on my own again in the forest to have some time alone in my autumn revelry, lying on the ground and looking up through the trees, watching the play of golden and darklight.

901. finally understanding a confusing Bible verse
from Sarah Young's Jesus Lives: I have new insight into the parable of the three servants the Master gave talents to, a parable I've always struggled with understanding. "I was afraid, so I hid your talent in the ground." The harder the circumstances, the more treasure there is to be found if we don't shrink back but go out and invest what God has given us. It is He that multiplies it.

September struggles

What I'm thankful for - all the leaves turning, the beautiful fall colors. This is my favorite time of year. A couple weekends ago the whole family went up to Vedauwoo to ride and we saw a moose and had fun discovering a whole chain of beaver ponds (that also somewhat confounded us, as we had to figure out a way to get across them to get back to the road!)  Here's a picture of my four girls with the wild jumble of rocks called Devil's Playground behind them.

This weekend my husband and I went for a trail ride, just the two of us, on my favorite fall trail (Happy Jack). The trees were peak color, and I was in complete bliss. I'm already trying to work out my schedule this week to get back up again here before the leaves are gone. I want to take the girls up here again and have them start a nature notebook.

What I'm struggling with - my teenage daughter (just turned 13). Some days we have a wonderful time going through the different books and materials for homeschool; other days it's a constant battle with either her sullen attitude or inability to focus. B. and I have talked it over, the two of us, and with her, and we've set guidelines for her to meet, and if she doesn't, she loses her privileges and computer/tablet time. It has really helped a lot. But I've had to learn to let keep my mouth shut and let the consequences teach her when she argues with me, instead of opening my mouth and arguing back.


What God is teaching me - I know He is teaching me to have faith and trust in Him through financial difficulties and these difficulties with my teenage daughter.  I NEED TO PRAY more! Need extra patience and grace so when she's full of attitude, I don't get puffed with attitude in response, too.

Where I am in the Word - our bible study group is studying Galatians this fall. I've been reading Galations 1 & 2 in several different translations, and find it especially interesting to read in the Message (MSG), a translation that I didn't used to like, but now like to read in parallel with NASB or NIV. Here's Gal 2:15,16 in MSG:

 We know very well that we are not set right with God by rule-keeping but only through personal faith in Jesus Christ. How do we know? We tried it—and we had the best system of rules the world has ever seen! Convinced that no human being can please God by self-improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting in the Messiah, not by trying to be good.

What I'm reading - Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola.  My neighbor lent me this book (and gave me lots of other books from her homeschool collection) and I'm loving it so much. This book gave me the idea to have the girls try a nature notebook. To hopefully be start of a love of nature and appreciation for God's creation.


What I'm watching - we recently watched God's Not Dead, and a couple of the scenes from that movie keep replaying in my head.  Here's a quote from it that I looked up: "Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble because he doesn't want people turning to God. Their sin is like a jail cell, except it is all nice and comfy and there doesn't seem to be any reason to leave. The door's wide open. Till one day time runs out and the door slams shut and suddenly it's too late to get out."

What I'm anticipating - a trip to Buffalo, NY: my hometown, in October. Since I don't have any family there, I haven't visited in almost 13 years!

What's inspiring me - help I've been getting from a published author on polishing the first ten pages of the book that I'm submitting to agents (she said she loved my story!). She also helped me revise my query letter too. I had an encouraging comment from one agent I submitted to over the summer, but form rejections from seven others. After help revising, I've just submitted to three more agents and I need to research some more to send to, also.  I've also been playing with ideas for a new writing project (since NaNoWriMo is coming up in just a little over a month.)

1000 gifts: thirteenth birthday and church reunion

 Now that I finally have some space from March and April and May - those months were filled with loss (though also filled with many blessings), I'm catching up with my 1000 gifts list. These gifts are from August.

868.  Four wheeling fun
Set up camp near Rob Roy Reservoir with some friends of ours; we brought the horses, and they brought the four wheelers, and all kinds of fun was had (much of it muddy!) The highlight for me was a drive on the 4 wheeler track up to the top of Centennial Ridge (just B. and I - our idea of romantic time together!), which had a spectacular 360 view of the valley below and mountains in all directions. But another highlight was also Blaze and I letting our horses run full speed across Cinnabar Park. What a thrill!

Blaze and Tara getting muddy!

869. Blaze's 13th party and trip to Park City
My friend Melissa had a conference in Salt Lake City, and we met for a couple days in nearby Park City. I brought Blaze along for an extra treat for her 13th birthday and spoiled her with a fun day of riding the alpine slides, alpine roller coaster, and mountain zip line. We had so much fun! Great time hanging out with Melissa too (finally she got to meet one of my kids). Had some great talks with Blaze on the long drive there and back, too. Her faith in God is surfacing again a little.
 

Blaze at the Alpine Slide in Park City, Utah

870. Bible conference and ancient history
Our pastor and his wife celebrated 30 years in ministry at our church this summer (I've been there for almost 20 years!) - and, very appropriately, they included a Bible conference as part of their celebration. The focus was on the book of Daniel, with Doug Bookman preaching. Bookman shared a story recorded by the historian Josephus about when Alexander the Great reached the gate of Jerusalem. Instead of destroying the city as he had destroyed many others, he expressed his respect for Daniel, who had foretold Alexander's triumph in his visions (the Greek Empire being one of the empires symbolized a couple times in the book of Daniel).  Alexander is quoted as saying "The prophets of my own country haven't even foretold of my conquests, yet the prophets of this country have foretold me." Alexander was so impressed  he didn't impose the Greek gods on the Jews but allowed them to continue to worship the true God.

871. No seats in the tabernacle
Also loved learning from Bookman's preaching that there were nto seats or benches in the temple because that would have implied, if the priests sat down, that their work (sacrifice for atonement) was complete. But in the heavenly temple, Jesus sat down at the right hand of the Father, showing that he had completed the work of atonement for us!

872. Old church friends reunited
Many of our old friends from church that have moved away over the years came for the Bible conference and 30 year celebration - what a reunion!! So good to see many old beloved faces and share stories.

873. Unconventional uses of church air-conditioning
Nicole and I ran into our old friend "Hutch" from church at Shari's restaurant and joined him and Billy for more talk. Hutch is a preacher now in Indiana. He cracked me up with his comment about hwo useful church air-conditioning is: he turned up the air conditioning so that certain female members of his church would dress scantily; "they had less cotton on than an aspirin bottle". If only I could capture his voice on paper, what a famous writer I could be! But seriously, I wish I could have taken notes and remembered more, but I was laughing too hard.

874. The best babysitters ever
This is the second year I've had Erin sit the girls for a couple days a week over summer break. She's the rare kind of sitter that does more than keep an eye on the kids; not only does she play with them, she actively plans activities for them! Everyday she would bring a new game or idea for them to try. They had fashion shows, they built forts, played leap frog, did puzzles, played sardines, had wheelbarrow races, made up dance movies, chalked the sidewalks, jumped rope, built obstacle courses, and jumped endlessly on the trampoline. Our year round babysitter Heather, who also helps me home school, is amazing too. Both girls are so serious for the Lord, too.

875. My daughters' lemonade stand
Erin helped Dreamer paint a "Lemonade: 25 cents" sign and the girls did a lemonade stand at the playground across from Grandma's. Sounds like it was a lot of work for them (and some donated goods from Grandma's when they ran out of their supplies) but they loved doing it. I remember getting such a three from making 10 cents a cup when I did a lemonade stand as a kid.

876. The twins teach themselves to ride their bikes
With flat tires, no less! This was all accomplished without my help, or B's, though we offered, of course.

877. More fun swimming the horses
At church camp Blaze got to swim her horse again, like last year (she missed state fair earlier in August because Spring had a minor injury, but she's all healed up now). We took all our church friends on trail rides with the horses, too. My favorite memories were sitting around the campfire, sharing how God has answered prayers.

Blaze and Spring "almost" swimming

878. Bald eagle flying overhead
As we were driving away from camp, I was thrilled to see a bald eagle fly right over us. They're fairly common but still a rare sighting for me!

879. lots of compliments on the Wyoming Student Atlas
For the past year I've been working on creating the maps and text for a 56 page, full color Wyoming Student Atlas for 4th through 8th graders and we're getting really close to publication. I did a presentation on the Atlas at our state GIS meeting and showed draft copies and got lots of interest and compliments on the project. (my kids, however, are less than thrilled about the Atlas since I've been pushing it on them during home school, since we developed the early first draft in March!)

880.  Blaze's bunny
Blaze got a belated birthday present: she finally saved up enough money for the cage and all the equipment, and Grandma bought her a bunny. Blaze picked her out and named her Estelza. She is a tiny "mini Rex" - pure black and soft as velvet! She is a huge hit with the girls. I wasn't crazy about her getting another animal (don't we have enough already!) but so far she has been very responsible about caring for it.

881. Free Christian home school curriculum
One of the home school moms I met this summer gave us a complete math and language arts curriculum for 5th grade (Dreamer's grade) and I found Blaze's 7th grade curriculum materials for under $100 on eBay. I'm so excited to be using Christian curriculum this year. We are using the Mystery of History book for ancient history, Apologia's "Discovering Creation through General Science" for science, and Alpha Omega materials and Writing With Skill for English, and I have a plan for regular Bible study for home school to: sharing my favorite verses from each of the books of the Bible (I have found that teaching the Bible to my kids from my own personal experience makes it much more  interesting and  meaningful; other materials I've tried were too dry). Our first week of home school was tough as far as getting back into the routine, but very encouraged by the materials (see next gift)

882. Studying creation versus evolution: creation provides meaning
One thing that really struck me in our home school this week was this argument for creation (versus evolution): creation provides a purpose and meaning to life. With evolution, if life began by accident and evolves by time, chance and natural selection, then what prupsoe is there in our "accidental lives"? Why do we crave to understand the meaning of life, why do we long to know what our purpose is, why we are here?

883. Getting stopped by an unusual road block: a marching band
On my way to work one day I was delayed by the University of Wyoming's marching band as they were out in the street practicing! I didn't mind the delay (fortunately I wasn't running late to a meeting, as is sometimes the case!) and I especially enjoyed the color guard and their beautiful brown and gold flag work. (For one summer I was part of the color guard in my high school's marching band)

884. Summer's whinny
I'm still missing my old horse Rebel, and his sweet whinny that he used to greet us with every morning when we came out to feed him. But this summer I discovered that our horse Summer has a whinny that sounds almost identical to Rebel's whinny. Hopefully we can get her to "talk" to us every morning like we did with him, too.

Dreamer riding Summer

885.  Two new visitors to OA
For most of the summer it's been just C. and I at our Laramie OA meetings, but now we have two new regulars coming! (J. and E.)

886. Rolling around in the back of the van laughing
B. helped me take all the seats out the back of my Chevy Uplander van, so I could help C. get the rest of her stuff moved over from storage in Cheyenne to her new place in Laramie. I was impressed with how much stuff I could cram in! The kids, though, were impressed with how much fun it was riding in the back of the van without seats. We forgot to put the seats back in before church, so we told them to "keep low" so no cops would see them in there without seat belts. "Keep low" apparently meant lying on the floor and giggling every time I made a turn and they rolled around over each other back there!

887.  Realizing just how amazing your life is
My stepdaughter Stars (who just moved to Seattle) posted this on her Facebook page, and I copied it here so I could remember it always:

Today I somehow managed to wreck my car in the parking garage of my apartment. I spent the better half of my day getting quotes from auto repairs, having to make various phone calls and overall feeling really sorry for myself. To top off my incredibly horrible day I had to go grocery shopping, which at the time sounded like the biggest chore. As I was walking out of Safeway a homeless man was trying to sell me a newspaper, and I of course ignored him, as did everyone else.Loading up my car full of groceries I couldnt help but stare at my poor, damaged Jetta and while wanting to feel sorry for myself again, the homeless mans attempts to even be noticed caught my attention. I walked over and handed one of my bags of groceries to the man, he then started crying and thanking me profusely, and I guess it just made me think how good my life actually is, my "problems" are so minor compared to so many. Through trials and triumph, wrecked cars and such, life is really awesome. I guess all I am trying to say is be happy, be positive, have a little compassion now and again, and on your absolute worst days when you manage to wreck your car or do something stupid and you think your day couldn't possibly get worse, remember to remind yourself about how amazing your life actually is.