I've been debating whether to blog about this, because it's really personal... maybe I should just journal it? But my blogs have been getting more and more personal over time.
I decided to go ahead and share it because, first of all, my most favorite blogs to read from other people are when they take a "risk" and share something really personal. Because I think we all need to know we aren't the "only ones out there" going through some particular challenge or trial - we're not alone.
And then secondly, those you who may read this who are inclined to pray, this is a prayer request. I'd love it if you'd pray for me, and my parents. (added 4/13 - add a comment if you'd be willing to add us to your prayers)
Okay, last night (or probably very early this morning) I had a wonderful dream. I almost NEVER have amazing dreams like this. So I'm hoping it's a sign from God.
In my dream, my family and I were having dinner with my parents to celebrate their return from Hilton Head in May (they head south every winter for South Carolina). Some how or other, in the mysterious way of dreams, one of my dear Christian friends and her husband had also joined us for dinner, and somehow we got onto the subject of religion. My Dad was sharing his beliefs on how religion is just a crutch, that he believes it's all a sham. Then my firiend's husband asked him something like "do you realize that Jesus died for you?"
And there was this long silence, and I was wondering if my Dad was going to be angry or offended, when he answered, "yes, I know that Jesus died for me."
At this point the dream gets a little fuzzy, because I think my unconcious self was suffering from shock and amazment. But I asked my Dad something along the lines of "you mean, you believe now?" or "you're saved?" and he nodded and smiled at me.
Then my Mom said, "you know I've always believed in Jesus."
This is true; she has always professed faith in Jesus. She just doesn't seem to have any interest or passion in Him... and when Jesus truly saves someone, He transforms them. He makes them a new creature. They are awed by the fact that He died to save them from sin. In the verse I memorized earlier this year, Matt 9:12-13, Jesus said "It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick.... I have come not to call the righteous, but sinners" - that's what has been missing in my mom's faith: any sense that she's a sinner, in need of a doctor, e.g. savior.
So I asked, "But do you believe He died for you? For your sins?"
She paused, then suddenly smiled and said, "yes".
Pitter-pat, pitter-pat, my heart was going crazy.
But in my dream I was worrying to myself, are they just saying this? do they really believe? Has Jesus really opened their eyes, and saved them?
Then I felt this overwhelming joy in my dream. An assurance that yes, it was true. Amazing grace had really, finally, reached my parents.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see.
My Dad stood up and held his arms out to me and I ran to his arms crying, and then my mom was also hugging us both, crying.
I woke up with a such a sense of joy that for a moment I thought it had really happened. But even when I remembered it was just a dream, I still felt joy. I have felt joy all day long everytime I think about this dream.
May this dream come true!