Marriage, foxes and vineyards

I'll admit it right here up front: I don't want to write this post. In the past 3 years of blogging, I've only posted on marriage twice. I've written almost a whole novel on marriage, but that was fiction, -- in other words, it wasn't MY marriage, so it was fun to write about.

Now if you get me one-on-one in a coffee house with a big yummy cup of Hot Snow and a cheesecake, I'll spill the beans and talk marriage all night long. But there is something frightfully permanent about writing words down about your marriage on a public forum where any one can stop by and read. (I suppose I could change my privacy settings. But then I get to thinking, I really do appreciate when other ladies are honest about their marriages. I'll try to return the favor).

I've been married a few months shy of 12 years. I married my complete opposite, in everyway. The only two things we have in common is a love of Jesus and a love of horses. He's an extrovert, I'm an introvert. He's a risk taker, I'm cautious. I could list differences for hours but I don't want to bore you. Bottom line: it isn't easy. But I know God matched us up, that our differences strengthen each other. If I'd married a man with a similar personality as mine, we'd both be institutionalized now for severe clinical depression.

The recession has been hard on our marriage. My husband has his own business, and the work has dwindled to the point that I make more than he does at my part-time job. That's hard on him. That's hard on me. I don't like being the provider - the money I earned was supposed to be "extra" - for savings and vacations or what not. He feels, at times, like a failure. I have to keep giving him pep-talks. It's not a situation that inspires romance. Most of the time I'm too tired with working and running after the kids (though he helps with the kids ALOT) to have any energy left over for him.

The reason why I'm writing this is because it was a way to remind myself that my marriage is IMPORTANT and if I don't keep putting energy into it and giving him attention (and we all know how men most like attention), then I know the little things that stress our marriage are only going to get more troublesome, just like Solomon says that little foxes can end up ruining a whole vineyard (Song of Solmon 2:15)

I'm thankful I ran across Marriage Monday and the verse, 1 Corinthians 7:4 "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." A good reminder for me. I also wanted to point out - who is it that appears first in this verse? The wife or the husband? I'm thinking there's probably a good reason why the wife is addressed FIRST. With our tendency to moodiness, we probably need that extra reminder. I know I do.