more to do with horses

During August we have been having lots of fun with our horses!

These are some pictures of Blaze riding up at Vedauwoo, a forest recreation area near our house. This was her first official trail ride with us (other than just short rides around our house). She did wonderful! My mom went along with us, too, riding Rebel. Rebel is 27 years old now and he's starting to look his age, but he doesn't act his age at all! Mom was constantly having to slow him down and circle him around so the rest of us could catch up. Those two are real pair... Mom doesn't act her age, either (she is still riding horses, skiing, roller-blading,etc!)

Vedauwoo is one of my most favorite places to ride, with some cool shady aspen forests and lots of big open meadows for running. The fantastic rock formations make it very scenic.

Another favorite place to ride is on Mear's Morgans Ranch, along the Laramie River. We took our young horses, Jewel and Folly, here a few weekends ago to get them used to crossing water. While we were working with the horses, the twins and Dreamer had a blast playing in the river.

Here is B. on Folly, trying to get her to cross the river the first time, and Blaze trying to get her horse across the river for the first time. Both horses are doing the typical "dancing" at the edge of the water - not sure if they want to get their feet wet!

Finally B. switches to his regular horse, Ally, and leads Blaze across.

After a while, Blaze is able to get her horse to cross by herself. Though he is still looking a little uncertain, here.

Meanwhile I was working with my horse, Jewel. Once Jewel figured out that the water wasn't going to eat her alive, she started having fun with it. She started pawing at the water and even tried to lay down in it (with me still on her!)

After playing in the river for a while, we practiced jumping Jewel and Ally over some of the little log jumps down by the river. There are a lot of huge jumps, too - Mears Morgans hosts a the "Windy Wyoming Event" every year - but our young horses have a long way to go before we start tackling the whole jump course.

Another weekend we took Blaze to a horse show in Cheyenne. Here is Blaze and Dreamer with a miniature horse at the show.

Blaze rode Ally in two events, Western Pleasure for rookies (other kids just starting to show) and she got 2nd place, and Western Equitation, which she got first place! It started to rain and thunder like crazy soon after she finished, so I never did get a picture of her up on Ally with her ribbon.

My friend K.A., who used to live in Laramie but turned traitor and allowed her husband to move her down to Colorado Springs (grrrrr) was here a couple weekends ago and here is a picture of her and her son Daniel feeding Jewel (Jewel is always the first horse to the fence to see if anyone has goodies) and another horse that B. is training right now for extra money.

We're hoping to have a lot more fun with horses yet this fall. Blaze is 8 years old now so she can join the 4H club for horses. B. will probably go hunting again this fall and he usually takes the horses at least once or twice. And I hope to get a few more mountain trail rides in, during my favorite time when the aspen leaves are changing.

A quick add-on to do with writing progress. I seem to only be able to find time to write once a week, if that. However I did finally finish re-writing chapter 16 (though I'm not happy with it... sent it off to S.W. to see if she can help me with it at all) and got a good start on chapter 17. Now that the first week of school is behind us, hopefully I can get settled into the new schedule and start writing/editing more regularly.

Beth Moore's scripture memory challenge continues to be a blessing for me - I have all 22 verses of Psalm 34 memorized (now I just have to keep reviewing it). Here are the last few verses I worked on, in August:

Psalm 34:17-22

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them

He delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted,

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all.

He protects his bones, not one of them will be broken

[a prophecy about Christ]

Evil will slay the wicked;

the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems His servants -

no one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned.

a mountaintop experience

Last weekend B. gave me Saturday "off" from kid-duty so I could go on a hike with a bunch of friends from my church, Laramie Valley Chapel. Treva has started a women's outdoor ministry, informally called the "BMW's", or Burly Mountain Women (though I called it "Barely Mountain Women" - referring to myself, of course. Treva really is a mountain woman - she has climbed mulitple Fourteeners in Colorado. I affectionately call her Gear Girl).

August 8 was the day to tackle climbing Medicine Bow Peak, the highest peak in Wyoming's Snowy Range at 12,013 feet. Meeting at the church at 6:30 am on a Saturday caused some grumbling, but leaving early was soon rewarded because we saw these three moose on our drive up to the trail head. (This has definitely been the summer for moose sightings! A couple weeks ago a young moose trotted right by our church, and then two days later B. saw two moose in our backyard and followed them through our neighborhood for a while. He said they were so big they didn't jump fences, they just stepped over them.)

Here we are just starting off on the trail, hiking around Lewis Lake.

The wildflowers were magnificent. Though everyone grows columbine in their backyards in Laramie, the domesticated flowers are never as beautiful as the wild ones.

Here we are taking a break to catch our breath. The lady beside me, Sophia, is 55 years old. I hope I am still climbing mountains at that age! The trail starts out nice and flat, but it quickly gets steep. Though only 1.8 miles from the trail head to the top of the mountain, it's a 2000 foot gain. We had to stop every 10 minutes or so for a quick breather. Near the top, I started to feel light-headed. Sheila and I standing at a magnificent overlook - Lake Marie at the base of the Snowy Range.

Here is Treva scrambling over boulders, near the top. At this point the trail completely disappears - it's just a boulder field, with rock piles or cairns to mark the direction.

Bouldering is hard work! Treva and I decide to take the easy route along a ridge of snow.

At last! Despite Sophia's claim that someone kept moving the top of the mountain back, here we all are finally at the very top! I did this climb about 12 years ago with my dear friend Karen, but I had forgotten how amazing the 360 degree view was! We also lucked out this time that it wasn't even very windy.

Standing (from left to right): Treva, Michelle, Heather
Sitting: Sheila, Kim, Sophia, me, Mehrnoosh

This mountaintop experience was more than just a great view and feeling of accomplishment. Before we started, Treva had given us each a card with these verses for us to memorize and meditate on during our trek.

1 Corinthians 15:1-5

Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve.

While we sat around on the boulders at the top sharing trail mix and other goodies, some of us recited these verses from memory and then Treva talked a little a bit about how important the Gospel is, but how we are tempted sometimes to try to "dress it up" to make it more appealing as we try to share it. But really it is powerful all by itself.

It started a great discussion with Sheila's friend Mehrnoosh, a Muslim from Iran who is a graduate student in Engineering here at the University of Wyoming. She is very smart, a real thinker. She shared that she has many misgivings about Islam, but she couldn't see that Christianity was all that different. She sees Christ as a prophet, and so views him the same as the Muslim prophets. We tried to explain how Christ was different from the other prophets because he was both 100% God and 100% man - basically God becoming man, just like us, so He could experience what we experience. Because He was a man like us, he encountered all the same temptations we face, but because he was God he was able to overcome these temptations and never sin. And because he never sinned, He was therefore able to a "perfect" sacrifice for our sins, so that when we believe in Him we are saved - rescued - from the penalties of our own sins.

She also asked us how we could believe that what our Bible says is 100% true, because she feels things have been added to the Quran over the years to corrupt it for specific purposes (suppression of women, for one. I was pleased to hear that Iran does allow women to vote, but of course their last election was completely bogus. Mehrnoosh was very upset about that). So then Treva gave this truly inspired description of how the Bible was written by over 40 authors over a thousand years and yet none of it contradicted and all the prophecies about Christ came true. And to top it off, the another hiker came along and overheard our conversation and then proceeded to add additional arguments. He was a believer too. (Praise You, God for sending him along too right at that moment!)

Treva also asked Mehrnoosh if she remembered the story of Abraham being asked by God to sacrifice Isaac. She said yes, this story is in the Quran too. Then Treva said, "do you remember how at the last minute God told Abraham to stop, and that God provided a ram as a sacrifice instead? and she said yes. "That's Jesus," Treva said. "the sacrifice was Jesus."

I don't know if that made any impression on Mehrnoosh, but we were all thrilled that we got to have a discussion with her about the Gospel and "plant seeds." I don't think she felt threatened by us - even though there were 7 of us Christians and only one of her - I think everyone was respectful to let her share her own beliefs and doubts. I think she is probably the first Muslim I have ever met that I've had a chance to really talk to. We had all sorts of questions for her about what life in Iran is like and it was fascinating to hear her answers. I asked what she thought was the strangest thing about Americans, and she said that we eat so much fast food! But she also said that she was surprised by how family-oriented Americans are. In her country they have spread propaganda that we are anti-family.

The hike back down was harder for me than going up, as it always is - hurts my toes and my knees something fierce. But we were well rewarded back at the trail head because Treva provided lunch for all of us! Sandwiches (garnished with fresh veggies from her own garden), hummus and chips, cookies and fresh peaches. My mouth is watering just writing about it. Simple food becomes a feast after a hard workout like that!

Photo credits all go to Heather. many thanks!

a few lessons about birthday parties

Blaze and I decided to do a Hawaiian Luau theme for her 8th birthday party, which was last week on August 5 (I've needed almost a whole week to recover from it!)
Actually it was an easy party to put together, because we already have a lot of beach-type decorations (Blaze and Dreamer's room is done in beach-theme), and our church also had a lot of luau decorations that I borrowed. Add a couple easy crafts and game ideas from OrientalTrading.com, stuff a pinata with candy, warn your husband he's going to have to lead horses around for pony rides, invite 10 girls, and you have the recipe for a perfect party, right?

I know Blaze was absolutely thrilled with her party, but here's a few things I might do differently next time!

Lesson #1 - don't have it on a week night

When your birthday is in the middle of the week, it's painful waiting for your party on the weekend. So I choose from 6:30-8:30 pm Wednesday night, right on her birthday. I figured that would give me all day to get ready. What I forgot, is that dinner has to happen around 5:30, and because it always takes me longer to get dinner than I expect, I was still frantically cleaning up and throwing dishes in the sink when the girls started to arrive! Also because it was a week night, some of the kids' parents came to get them earlier before the party was over.

Lesson #2 - crafts aren't as easy as the instructions say they are

If you're going to do crafts with 10 girls, try them out ahead of time so you know exactly what to expect. And have someone to help you because all you will hear for the next 20 minutes is "I need help!"

Here's the girls busy stringing hawaiian beads for necklaces and glueing together foam turtles, flowers and surfboards for refrigerator magnets.

The girl in black looking right at the camera is Nicole - Blaze has been spending a LOT of time with her this summer.

Lesson #3 Kids would rather ride horses than play games.

I love kids games. I love relay races and playing tag and capture the flag and I even like musical chairs and pin-the-tail-on-the donkey. I'll probably still want to play party games when I'm 80. But I forget how insecure kids can be about games!

Anyway, I found a few variations on games with a beach/Hawaiian theme: one was seeing how fast you could fish a dozen duckies out of a kiddie pool while blindfolded; another one was a "lei race" - two relay teams racing to put on as many leis around their necks as possible. We started with the ducky game, but several of the girls said "I don't like games, could I ride one of the horses instead?" They must have seen B. saddling Keg and Rebel, our two trusty "bombproof" horses. So we spent the next 45 minutes giving pony rides, and we never did get around to the lei race. But Blaze didn't mind, because B. saddled Jewel for her with her new neon pink reins (the matching saddle pad is on order), and while the other girls were being led around at a walk, she got to trot and lope around on Jewel and hear everyone exclaim "wow, she's a really good rider!"

After we finally coaxed all the girls off the horses, we hung up the pinata and let them beat it up. Here's a picture of Blaze still in her "riding outfit" - her Hawaiian print bathing suit, a sarong, and cowboy boots (she had a grass skirt on earlier but took it off before riding so it wouldn't spook the horses).

We ended the party with the usual singing around the cake (Blaze insisted on an ice-cream cake, and that's another lesson I learned last year... a lot of kids don't like regular cake) and then opening presents.

Here's a shot of all the kids oogling the loot.

This year the trend in presents seem to be "littlest pet shop" and "furberries". A furberry is what looks like a furry berry (it even smells like a berry) and then it pops open and becomes a purple teddy bear. Blaze also asked for anything "Ponyville" (tiny horses with names like "Cupcake"). Oh yeah and Bendaroos (waxy string like things that you can use for decorations or for building).

The best present, in my opinion, was Grandma H. giving her a year's worth of ballet lessons. (It's going to be a busy year: 4H starts this year, too. Plus there's soccer in the fall, and AWANA).

Lesson #4 Girls don't get along very well.

I actually learned this one last year. It's tricky when you invite a bunch of school friends, who all know each other, and then other friends who know Blaze but don't know anyone else at the party (a friend from our neighborhood, Ruby; friend from church, Claire; friend via parents' friends, Tabitha). That's why I planned crafts and games to try to keep them all occupied so there wouldn't be so much opportunity for feeling "left out". It went a lot better his year but there was still a few signs of girlish cattiness. Next year I'm tempted to try to limit her to picking fewer friends, but I know that is no guarantee. Why are young girls so catty and fickle with each other? I remember that after age 10, I was too afraid to have my own birthday parties anymore!

Fortunately this hasn't been the case so far for Blaze. She looked forward to her party for months and wasn't disappointed one bit. So I am very relieved. And now, almost a week later, I finally have all the decorations taken down (though I'm still finding koolaid stains on the floor, and bits of wrapping paper under chairs). I'm so glad I won't have to worry about planning a party for the twins' birthday for at least another couple years!

having a Mary heart

Sometime this winter I mentioned I was reading "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver, and though I finished it months ago, I finally found some time to type out some of my favorite quotes and excerpts from it, which I am including here (did I ever mention that I collect quotes? I also collect nutcrackers, but that's a different story).

One of the best parts about this book was the one page appendix about how to plan a "half-day of prayer." Back in May our moms' Bible study arranged for kid-swapping so we could each get from 2 to 4 hours of uninterrupted time for prayer. It was amazing and I'd like to make that a regular thing. Because of my concerns for my father, I've been praying more, but it's still just a few minutes here, a few minutes there as I can spare time, and I need to make it more of a priority (there's a great quote on this too, see "the Withdrawing Room", in my excerpts below.)

And I have writing progress to report! Always feel productive and energized when I can report some progress, especially if I've managed to be productive for several days in a row. I went back to working on Chapter 16. This chapter has needed a major re-write and I tried several times this summer, actually pulling up the file, reading the first few pages, and then closing it back up again with a sigh - just looked like too much work to force myself to get started (kind of like the bathroom re-tiling project that we've been putting off for over a year now). So I've got the first part of the chapter re-written and now working on the second half. It certainly helps that I have a reviewer in the wings asking me when my next few chapters will be ready to read. Thank you Lord for fellow writers!

Okay, here are a few great excerpts, and a bunch of quotes:

The Withdrawing Room

In Robert Boyd Munger's article "My Heart Christ's Home", he tells how he showed Christ around the house of his heart, welcoming Him room by room. Together they visited the library of his mind "a very small room with very thick walls". They peered into the dining room of his appetites and desires. They spent a little time in the workshop where this talents and skills were kept, and the rumpus room of "certain associations and friendships, activities and amusements." They even poked their heads into the hall closet filled with dead, rotting things he had managed to hoard.

We walked next into the drawing room. This room was rather intimate and comfortable. It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a bookcase, sofa, and a quiet atmosphere. Jesus seemed pleased with it. "Let us come here often. IT is secluded and quiet and we can have fellowship here." He promised, "I will be here every morning early. Meet with Me here and we will start the day together." So, morning after morning, I would come downstairs to the drawing room and He would take a book of the Bible, open it and then we would read together. He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths.... They were wonderful hours together. In fact, we called the drawing room the "withdrawing room."

But little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilities, this time began to be shortened... I began to miss a day now and then.... I would miss it two days in a row and even more. I remember when one day when I was in a hurry... as I passed the drawing room, the door was ajar. Looking in I saw a fire in the fireplace and the Lord sitting there.

"Blessed Master, forgive me! Have You been here all these mornings?"

"Yes," he said, "I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you."

Then I was even more ashamed. He had been faithful in spite of my faithlessness. I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me....

Then He said: "The trouble with you is this: You have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to me, too."

Some suggestions for creating a Withdrawing room: Emilie Barnes keeps a special prayer basket on hand to help with her devotions. In it she keeps a Bible, a daily devotional or other inspirational reading, a small box of tissues, a pen and paper for journaling and taking notes, and a few pretty cards in case she feels moved to write a note to someone she's praying for. For Emilie, seeing the basket is both an invitation and a reminder to spend time with the Lord, and she can take it anywhere with her. Robin Jones Gunn began lighting a candle to set apart her prayer times after a friend made her feel especially welcome by lighting a candle for their visit. "Sometimes the house is still dark and quiet when I sit down and light my candle for my devotions. Other times life is in full swing around me, but my corner becomes a quiet place for intimate conversation. When my family sees the candle lit, they know to leave mom alone."

Kent Hughes describes the intimate impact of spending time with God. "Our lives are like photographic plates, and prayer is like a time exposure to God. As we expose ourselves to God for a half hour, an hour, perhaps two hours a day, his image is imprinted more and more upon us. More and more we absorb the image of his character, his love, his wisdom, his way of dealing with life and people."

Mahatma Gandhi once said "If Christians lived according to their faith, there would be no more Hindus left in India." He was fascinated at the thought of knowing Christ, but when he met Christians, he felt let down. Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who feel the same. They are intrigued by the claims of Christ, but they shrink back because of disappointment with his offspring. "Don't look at people," we might protest. "Look at Jesus." But while that may be true, the sobering truth remains: Whether we like it or not, we're the only Jesus some will ever see. D.L. Moody put it this way: "Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; ninety-nine will read the Christian."

Ephesians 3:17-19.... Being filled to measure with all the fullness of God will most likely require our being stretched. At the very least, it is sure to disturb our comfort. Unfortunately a lot of the time... we want enough of God to make us happy, but not enough to make us change. We'd never say it, but our attitude is just what Wilbur Rees had in mind when he wrote: "I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don't want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please."

As a result of Christ's work on the cross, Yancey says, "the three-day pattern - tragedy, darkness, triumph - became for New Testament writers a template that can be applied to all our times of testing."

The secret to happiness lies not in getting what you want, but in wanting what you have.

If we find ourselves becoming critical of other people, we should stop examining them, and start examining ourselves. - William Barclay

Fretting magnifies the problem, but prayer magnifies God. "The reasons our problems often seem overwhelming is that we allow things of time to loom larger than the things of eternity.... The tiniest of coins, when held close to the eyes, can blot out the sun." -Selwyn Hughes, Every Day Light

So much depends on perspective. If my God isn't bigger than life, than my life is bigger than God - and that's when anxiety takes over.

The Kingdom of God is a paradox. While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors: "Do more! Be all that you can be!" But our Father whispers, "Be still and know that I am God."

Satan has never been terribly creative. The tools he uses today are the same tools he's always used, and no wonder, for they've been quite effective. From the Garden of Eden to Martha's kitchen in Bethany to our own everyday, Satan still plans his attacks around what I call the three deadly D': Distraction, Discouragement, and Doubt. The underlying strategy is simple: Get people's eyes off God and on their circumstances. Make them believe that their "happiness" lies in the "happenings" that surround them. Or send them good news - about somebody else. When they are thoroughly discouraged, tell them God doesn't care. Then sit back and let doubt do its work. It's really a brilliant strategy, when you think of it. Plant the Deadly Ds deep in human hearts, and sooner of late people will destroy themselves. Unless, of course, someone intervenes - which is exactly what Jesus came to do.

"Did God really say...?" Satan encouraged Eve to doubt God's word and doubt God's goodness. Humanity has questioned God's love ever since... The fact is, until we stop doubting God's goodness, we can't experience God's love. "Lord, don't you care?" Martha spoke her secret fear aloud, and we can too. But you must stick around long enough to hear the reassurance of His answer. Don't expect any explanations or apologies. After all, God is God. If righteous Job couldn't force God to give an account for his actions, then we shouldn't expect to always understand his mysterious ways.

The Bible tells us more than 350 times to "fear not"... Why is the Bible so adamant about our avoiding fear and worry? Because God knows worry short-circuits our relationship with him. It fixes our eyes on our situation rather than on our Savior.

"Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indication of how wicked we are. Fretting springs from a determination to get our own way. Our Lord never worried and He was never anxious, because He was not out to realize His own idea; He was to realize God's ideas. Fretting is wicked if you are a child of God... All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I feel as if I ought to spread these quotes out more, over several blogs perhaps, just to lengthen their impact on my days. So I have one more interesting excerpt that I am going to save for later.

fraility and faith

My cousin Jean and her husband and daughter visited us this week, which involved some fun excursions (Cheyenne Frontier Days rodeo - we all loved the colt race - more on that later). But what I really need to write about now is what I saw when Mom had us all over for dinner. Notice I say Mom, not Mom and Dad. My father was there, but he barely said two sentences the entire time.

Exactly one week before dinner with my folks and Jean's family, B. and I went out to dinner with Mom and Dad for a belated anniversary celebration, and Dad was getting along pretty good. But in one week's time, he suddenly aged 10 years. He has lost more weight and is very frail looking. He can barely walk and talks very slowly now too, if he talks at all. Mom had to take him to the doctor again because he has fallen twice now and has had some hallucinations. The doctor keeps adjusting his medication for the Parkinsons' tremors, and we think that is what is causing the hallucinations and unsteadiness, maybe the slow speech too. But what about his complete lack of appetite? He is wasting away before our eyes.

This year I have blogged a lot about various things I've challenged myself to work on: a Bible read-through, memorizing verses, losing weight, discipleship. These are all very noble goals, but I'm running out of time with my father, and my mother is frantic with worry about him. I need to spend more time with them, helping them, praying for them. Sharing my faith with them. This has got to become top priority.

Back in April I had a wonderful dream about my parents: may this dream come true. Just this morning I was reminded it of it again, as I was doing my daily reading - right now in Jeremiah. I was reading my favorite chapter in Jeremiah, 31. It's been my favorite in the past because of Jer 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you in lovingkindness." But this morning I discovered another wonderful verse in this chapter:

Jer 31:25-26 The Lord Almightys says... "I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing." At this I woke up and looked around. My sleep had been very sweet.

The Lord had been speaking to Jeremiah while he slept, telling him about Israel's future. Promising him that He will bring the Israelites back to the promised land after their exile. Also promising Jeremiah that even though his people have been faithless, that there will come a time when "Israel will embrace her God."

I felt like like God was reminding me about my own dream, back in April, that promise that He would save my parents - that there would come a day, someday, when they would embrace God. I really need to share this with them. I am hoping with all my heart that God has sent this severe illness to my father (and my mother, who is suffering with him) because He is using it to draw them to Himself. He will not let my father go until he turns to Him. Please Lord use me to share Your Word with them! Please Lord give me the courage. Please Lord, save them.

mountain lion attack

Forgive me, the title was an abbreviation of "mountain lion show" and "panic attack", two events which are (fortunately) not specifically related to each other. Stars last evening here with us, we took all the kids to the Jubilee Days carnival in downtown Laramie, and there was a new show this year with a mountain lion. She was a two year female mountain lion, not really trained yet but her handler still had us all ooohing and aaahing as he got her to leap up ten feet or higher in the air, chasing after a toy on a stick (actually he said mountain lions can leap up to twenty feet!). The handler would toss an empty cardboard box across the pen and the lion would chase after it, bat it around, and then jump inside of it and crouch down. Just like a regular size kitty playing with a box or a bag. Made you just want to go up and pet her and scatch her under chin (which her handler did a couple times, too).

B. was most impressed by the lion's tail, he has this fixation with cat tails. For instance, if our poor innocent cat, Cleo, happens to be sleeping with her tail in a vulnerable position, B. will creep up on her and then "pounce" on her tail and pin it down with his foot! (It's amazing Cleo isn't neurotic). Well once the mountain lion poked her tail out of the wire mesh of her pen while she was crouched in her box, and when B. saw that giant twitching tail, he got all twitchy himself. Ha! - I'd like to see what would happen if he'd try to stomp on that kitty tail!

So now the panic attack part. We let the twins  go on their very first ride, each with an older sister (we had to wheedle with the tickettaker to allow Blaze to go on this ride, 'cause it's supposed to be for smaller kids). The twins went around on that airplane merry-go-round with the biggest grins on their faces! So, it was their first ride. But when I got on the boat swing (which always used to be my favorite ride) with Blaze, I decided that very well might be my last ride.

For the first five minutes I was just fine, enjoying the great sweeping motion like I always had before. But then I noticed the person running the ride was fiddling with the controls. The boat started swinging even higher. More fiddling with the controls. Dear Lord, had the mechanism broken? Were were going to swing out-of-control? Or just keep on swinging until someone could get it fixed? My imagination put me into a panic attack. I kept watching the fellow fiddling with the controls and tried not to panic (or swear), until I couldn't stand it anymore and closed my eyes. But after another few minutes, since no one else around me was panicking, I decided maybe my life and my daughter's might be spared after all. Nothing terrible happened. We just kept swinging, for a VERY LONG time. Everyone else seemed psyched to be getting an extra long ride. Blaze was lovng it. Eventually the swing slowed down and I wobbled back down to firm ground. Apparently I don't have the guts for these thrill rides anymore. Another grim sign of the fast approaching 40 year mark.

Stars shared a dream with me that I just have to share, too. She told me she was dreaming of shopping in Macy's when there was a store-wide announcement that there as a fire in the building and would everyone please evacuate. Sounds like a scary dream, right? But no, this is classic Stars: shortly after the first announcement, she dreamed there was a second one. "Please feel free to take any of the merchandise with you as you are leaving the store." Grin.

Now Stars is back home in Washington, and Blaze just spent the first of four nights at Bible camp up in the mountains,. Kids will grow up and go away! But after the initial slight depression of having a slightly less-full household, I am adjusted and trying to get back into my routine. For the past month, my writing progress has been non-existant, and my spiritual life has been not much better. I am a full week behind on my Bible read-through, and behind on my memorization, too. A few days ago I was re-reading some earlier posts and came across a challenge to myself following the womens' leadership event and Beth Moore event. Here's what I wrote:

I am pretty sure God was trying to teach me two things this weekend from these two events: I want you more with Me, and I want you reaching out more to other women, and that means your own daughters, too.

I had meant to try to talk with Stars (as much as she was willing) while she was here, but I'd completely forgotten about my challenge. She had just a day left at that point when I re-read the above. So I determined that I would broach the subject with something simple like "where do you feel you are spiritually, these days?" But we were so busy that last day I never got around to it. Finally after we got home from the carnival and she was doing the last of her packing I couldn't put it off any longer. I went down to her room to help her pack and to start a little conversation. But she was on the phone with a friend. "Oh can my friend come over for a little while?" she asks me. "She said she'd help me pack." "Oh, I'll help you pack!" I said. Her face fell. "But I really wanted to see Chesca one more time before I leave." I was disappointed, but it was really my fault that I'd waited until the last minute. So of course her friend came over. And I retreated to sit with my neglected Bible, much convicted and determined to not let opportunties slide again. I did end up having a good talk with Blaze the next day on Biblical attitiudes. But I need to pray more about discipling my girls and make opportunities happen, instead of just waiting for them to happen.

This morning I got up at 6:00 to go for an early morning walk (another habit that I've let slide for a couple weeks) and took along my voice recorder to practice my memory verses. It was a perfect summer morning. The fields and hills are all so very green from all the rain we've had this summer, and there was enough breeze to keep the mosquitos at bay. My heart was very full.

Here are the verses I was supposed to have memorized by the end of June:

Psalm 34: 11-13
Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.

And verses 14-16 that I just started this morning, which I'm supposed to have memorized by July 15th:

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

fireflies and 4th of July

I never thought we could possibly cram one more living being in our mini-van, but B. insisted we bring the puppy, Remington (Remie) with us on our trip to South Dakota. Now I may say "puppy", but it's misnomer. He's about 7 months old, but in reality he is 60 pounds or more of very large dog. But he was very well-behaved on the long 9 hour drive.

Though the fourth of July was our 10th anniversary, we didn't really celebrate it. That will be for later. I'm still in the planning stage. However B. did get me flowers and a card and Stars picked out a decadent chocolate cake for us. And we did have 60 people show up for our anniversary, with fireworks (granted, most of the extended family didn't know it was our anniversary. They just showed up for the annual family beer-drinking fest).

I was delighted to see fireflies in the evenings, which always reminds me of summers on the farm in New York.

On Sunday we went boating on the Missouri River, and Blaze went tubing for the first time. She absolutely loved it! Here she is with her Uncle Rod and Aunt Josie.

Here is Stars, driving my van back from the river with B. looking slightly concerned in the passenger seat. I followed behind in Rod and Josie's car, and I didn't see her go off the road once (grin). Actually I have been letting her drive quite a bit around our subdivision. But this was her first time on a real road.

Blaze and Dreamer had a lot of fun catching toads and frogs.

My four girls in red, white and blue, taking inventory of the toad collection on Grandma's porch.