What I'm learning, and a dream revisited

What I'm thankful for - I've seen other people post "30 days of thanksgiving" in November on
Facebook, and I decided to do it this year (I'll sum it up in my 1000 gifts list, coming soon). But here are a few highlights: trips to Buffalo and Seattle. Getting to visit my stepdaughter, Stars (her screen name) and old friends.  My parents 50th anniversary.

What I'm struggling with - rising prices, B.'s hours at work cut back, realizing I can't afford some of the things I really want. I love to travel, but it's so expensive! B. and I were able to "piggyback" on my travel to Pittsburgh this fall for a conference for work; work paid for my plane ticket, so all we had to pay for was his plane ticket, a rental car and two nights hotel so that I could revisit my hometown, Buffalo and take B. around to all my old favorite places and visit some old friends. That short trip was a financial strain though. I realized then, we can't really afford to do this anymore.

What God is teaching me - I have this constant debate in my head: should I go back to work full time? I feel so blessed being able to work part time and home school, but it's hard to give up travel, and it's hard to give up little luxuries. For instance, I really want a new winter coat... I've had the same coat for 10 years now. (Good thing it's an LL Bean - it's still in incredible shape! Bean stuff lasts forever!) But other demands always come along: needing to get my daughter a winter coat, for instance. Or having to replace our printer. On the other hand, it's pretty awesome that whenever I really do need something it's always provided. That winter coat that Blaze needed? We found an absolutely gorgeous shearling coat for $10 at a consignment store. And as for giving up travel? Since Stars moved to Seattle this summer, we've been wanting to visit her, but we couldn't afford both the trip to Buffalo and to Seattle. But then the airlines gave B. a $500 voucher because his flight to Pittsburgh was overbooked and he got bumped to a later flight. And guess how much two tickets to Seattle cost? Yup, almost exactly $500. So we got to go to Seattle for a wonderful weekend visit with Stars. I just love how God works these things out.

It's hard as the financial strain increases,  but it's also amazing to see how God not only works it out to provide our needs, but even gives us our "wants" too, above and beyond needs.

Where I am in the Word - After a long stretch where I put aside Beth Moore's studies in order to study the Word on my own (1 and 2 Thessalonians), I'm now back to working through Beth Moore's "To Live is Christ" (the book of Acts).

Acts 23:10,11  And as a great dissension was developing, the commander was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces by them and ordered the troops to go down and take him away from them by force, and bring him into the barracks. But on the night immediately following, the Lord stood at his side and said, "Take courage; for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem, so you must witness at Rome also."

First of all, I'd never noticed before that simple statement, "the Lord stood at his side" and spoke to him. That gave me happy chills! Second of all, Beth Moore really challenged us to think about Paul's calling to Rome. Paul knew without a doubt that he would be God's witness at Rome; the Lord himself had stood beside him and told him! But he doesn't actually get to Rome for at least another two years, and then he arrived in chains. The study asked this question: 

"Can you think of something God revealed to you but that took years to fulfill?" 

I thought about this for a while, and then I remembered a dream I had about my parents, over 5 years ago.  In a nutshell, we were at a dinner with my parents, and a Christian friend of mine asked my parents if they knew Jesus. And they said they did! Even my father! And in the dream, I knew absolutely that they weren't just saying that; they really believed. They had saving faith. 

Was that dream a promise from God? I can't say absolutely for sure: but I CAN say it wasn't sent by Satan, that's for sure! I still have faith that this wonderful thing will happen: my parents will confess saving faith. I don't know if it will happen like it did in my dream, and I don't know WHEN it will happen... but I am going to stubbornly cling to my belief that it WILL happen, someday, somehow.

But faith can't just be passive. I need to share the Word with my parents. I haven't, for a whole year now, even though that last time I got to share with them was absolutely amazing! (the story of that is here) But it's time again now to put some action along with faith.  

James 2:21,22: But was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 

In September and October, Blaze and Dreamer and I were reading Voice in the Wind, by Francine Rivers. That book is just amazing for raising good things to discuss with the girls about marriage, being unequally yoked, belief and sin, not to mention history (it's set after the fall of Jerusalem, in ancient Rome and Ephesus). It's one of my all time favorite books and I've read it at least 5 times now; the girls loved it too (and are begging me to read the sequel, now). At one point near the end as I was reading to the girls, a conversation between Marcus and Hadassah moved me to tears (pages 426-428, which is based on the story of guards at the tomb in Matthew 28, and how they were bribed). Marcus is trying to prove to Hadassah how useless her faith in her unseen God is. And meanwhile her heart is breaking as she sees how lost and unhappy he is. His arguments were ones my father would approve of: all the reasons why he thinks its foolish to believe in Christianity. To every Biblical defense Hadassah gave, Marcus had a smart and worldly answer. Until Hadassah turns to Marcus's dying father and asks him this: 

"If you stare into the sun and look away, you see the sun, my lord. If you stare at death, you see death. Where does hope lie?" 

His eyes flickered. He leaned back slowly. "I have no hope."

Marcus turned. He saw the dullness in his father's eyes, the pain etched in his face. Marcus was suddenly filled with deep shame. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe it was better to have false hope than no hope at all.

This broke my heart, because my father is slowly dying of Parkinson's. He does not speak of it, but he must be looking at death: what hope does he have?  I have hope that transcends death, and I must keep sharing it with him. I keep praying for the courage to share, and praying for God to work His miracle, and lift the veil so my father can finally see the truth. 

My plan for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow is to share Isaiah 61:1-3 with my parents:

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. 

What I'm reading-I haven't read anything on my own in November because it's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I'm concentrating on my writing. But for school, I've been reading Anne of Green Gables to the girls (more about that below). In October I read C.S. Lewis's Letters to Children (I can't let a year go by without reading C.S. Lewis!) and I finished reading the Magician's Nephew to the girls as our bedtime story. (More great discussion with the girls about this story: saving that for my 1000 gifts list, coming soon)

What I'm writing -While I wait to hear back from four agents (!!!!) who requested pages of my science fiction manuscript (thanks to #pitmad and #pitchwars) I am keeping myself occupied by getting back to work on my very first of my four stories, my "baby." Here's what I wrote to my writing buddy N.L.W.:  "I'm really stuck on the Valley. Your first book is your hardest and man this book is hard. I have this vision in my head of what I want it to be, but I can't even fully articulate it much less write it. Good news though: I tried my old trick of journaling out my frustrations and it really helped. Right after that I started to get ideas again."

What's both hurt and helped me this month is that the girls and I have been reading Anne of Green Gable for school. It's hard to be reading such excellent literature (and I do consider it literature!) when you are struggling to write your own; everything I write comes out so weak in comparison. L.M. Montgomery's characters are so dramatic and real; even quiet Matthew shines. Her settings are  magical. Anne's rapturous descriptions still make me smile, and her escapades make us all laugh and make the girls beg me to keep reading! This book is really pushing me to make my book better: to really dig deep, to find my passion and pour it out. To really examine my characters and play their hearts out across the page; to really look at my settings and find not just the beauty, but the mood; and what the beauty means; what the moods mean.

What I'm anticipating - being home for Thanksgiving. I love to travel, but I also love to be at home!

What's inspiring me - Anne of Green Gables and my writing are inspiring me on my creative side. My bible study in Acts is providing spiritual inspiration. My Overeaters Anonymous group provides me with strength and inspiration in the physical realm. We now have 5 regular attendees!  One of them (J) shared last week about how compulsive eating fogs up his mind and puts him in survival mode, where it's all about him and he doesn't have anything left over for other people. But when he's eating mindfully, not compulsively, he finds both clarity of mind and delight in focusing on others. That is so true for me, too. Our greatest fulfillment comes not from pleasing ourselves, but from pleasing the others in our lives.

Finding roses and stones

Last month our church had another ladies' conference at a lodge up in the beautiful Snowy Range mountains, right when the aspen were starting to turn gold. We had an invited speaker, Cathy McIntosh, author of the book Joy In the Journey we've been studying this fall.

She taught us about finding ROSEs that God gives us: Remember, Open, Serve, Establish

1) Remember God's character - David confronted Goliath with God's character: I Samuel 17:45 David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands”

2) Open your eyes to the unseen - 2 King 6: 16-18 When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked. “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

3) Serve Him - David served God by going out to fight the Philistine

4) Establish memorial stones - David remembered how God had delivered him from the lion and the bear, and helped him kill them to defend his flock of sheep.

Joshua 4:20-24:  Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.”

Then we were challenged to think of the times in our lives when God's hand was visible. When did you experience something that you know only God could have accomplished? And then think of a way you can establish a memorial stone for each instance. I came up with seven events where God showed Himself to me (there are others, too, but these are the ones that rocked my world).

1) November 1993, almost 20 years ago, when I challenged God and He showed me He was real. Job 38:1-7.

2) April 1999, when I asked God if it was his will for me to marry B. I was afraid because B. was divorced and had a four year old daughter. God answered me with Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He answered me, He delievered me from all my fears."

3) September 2006, when I found out I was having twins - twin girls, no less (a total of 4 girls, no boys!) I was discouraged and overwhelmed, but after praying, God showed me a quadruple rainbow (technically a supernumerary rainbow) and I knew it was His answer and His promise and I knew these twin girls would be a gift and a treasure from Him beyond what I could possibly imagine. Genesis 9:16 "Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

4) Fall 2011 - Insight after a particularly bad season of depression. A new way to look at an old favorite verse, Isaish 40:31.

5) September 2012 - I have no willpower of my own. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9

6) April 2013 - We see Him more clearly, closely, beautifully, in our hardest trials. Job 42:1-5.

7) August 2013  - How God shared my testimony. Job 38:1-7 (again)

So I've been thinking about how to make "memorial stones" for each of these, something I could keep in the house or yard that would be distinctive, that my kids (and even visitors) might ask, what do these mean? I'm not a making-crafts person at all; the last "craft" project I attempted was a felt Advent calender that turned out kind of hokey (though the kids and I still use it every December). 

I would love to find some smooth river stones that I could paint the dates and verses on, but this time of year isn't the best for going out looking for river stones. So in the meantime, I bought a frame that fits eight pictures, and I'm looking for some family pictures that fit each of these memorials from God and I'll photoshop the verses on them, then superglue some small polished rocks from a souvenir store to the frames. Hopefully will have a picture of the finished project forth coming.

How God shared my testimony

I had such a HUGE gift/blessing last week that I can't wait to post it in one of my 1000 gifts posts, but I have to share it right now. 

My parents and I love the 1980's mini-series based on Herman Wouk's book Winds of War. Mom bought the DVD set for Christmas and we watched it and when it was over we all wished there was more. I knew Wouk had a sequel to the book, so I looked it up and sure enough there was another mini-series (with some different actors) on the sequel, War and Remembrance. I finally ordered it from the library and started watching it with my Dad a few weekends ago while my Mom was away in Ohio for her family reunion.

That weekend I had lots of time to spend with my Dad and God really pushed me to share the Word with him as it's been several years since I've tried sharing anything with him, because he's so resistant. But I kept putting it off and the whole weekend passed and I never said anything.

So the next weekend comes around and Mom's back and all three of us watch the next episode of War and Remembrance. One of the main characters is Aaron Jastrow, an American Jew who had lived most of his life in his ivory academic tower and was never serious about his heritage, until he ended up in a concentration camp during WWII. Being persecuted for being a Jew, for the first time he embraced his faith. In one long scene, he shared a message from the book of Job to other Jews in the camp, on why God allows such senseless evil and suffering like what they were going through.

The actor actually quoted Job 38: 1-8, the VERY SAME verses that God answered me with, when I challenged whether He was real or not, back in 1993 when I was still agnostic but searching for the truth.

It's as if God was saying to me: "if you are not brave enough to share your testimony and speak My Word, then I WILL DO IT FOR YOU!"

I knew I could not remain silent anymore. I told B. and the kids what had happened, about how my parents got to hear not only verses from the Bible, but also an amazing sermon about one of the most amazing and powerful speeches God has ever spoken to man, and verses that have more personal meaning to me than any other verses in the Bible.  Blaze and Dreamer got excited about sharing their testimonies, too.

The next day I told asked my parents if I could share something important to me, with them, and I re-read those verses:

Then out of the storm the Lord spoke to Job:
Who are you to question my wisdom with your empty words?
Now stand up straight and answer the questions I ask you.
Where you when I made the world?
If you know  so much, tell me about it.
Who decided how large it would be?
Who stretched the measuring line over it?
Do you know all the answers?
What holds up the pillars that support the earth?
Who laid the cornerstone of the world?
In the dawn of that day the stars sang together
And the heavenly beings shouted for joy.

I was able to talk for at least 20 minutes about my story leading up to this moment when I read these verses and how they rocked my world, and how even now nearly 20 years later they still rock my world. Through all of this they listened - my mom is always polite but this time she seemed genuinely interested, and my Dad usually gets a stony, angry  expression and refuses to look at me, but he didn't this time. He didn't say anything for  a long time, but I kept silently praying that he would say something, that he would be stirred/drawn by God through my testimony.

When he finally did speak, he mentioned some people from his long ago past that turned him off with their brand of Christianity, things that he's still bitter about, so that was unfortunate, but when I left and said goodbye I thanked him for listening to me and told him I loved him, and he said "I love you" back, which is very, very, VERY rare for him to say that... so I was able to leave feeling hopeful. And especially so about my mother. I know it's been a huge trial for her, taking care of my father as Parkinson's disease has made him so dependent on her, and it has brought her to her knees a couple times... she knows she needs prayer, she needs God (though I keep praying that she would get into the Word and realize what comfort and encouragement can be found there on a daily basis - our daily bread).

Writing this over a week later, I am still awed by how God brought those verses from Job to my parents.

Proclaim Christ clearly, as I should

Colossians 4:2-6. Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned as with salt, that you may know how to answer everyone.

Yesterday I asked God for an answer to the doubts and fears I have about sharing the Gospel. Today, the reading in my devotional, Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young) was based in part on Colossians 4:2. So I looked it up.

First of all, "watchful" jumped out at me. I had asked God for an answer or direction in prayer yesterday. Today as I sought Him, first in prayer then in the Word, He brings me to this verse. "Are you being watchful, my girl? I'm about to give you an answer."

Next I read about Paul wanting another door to open for him to share the Gospel, e.g. the mystery of Christ. I love it that he calls the Gospel a mystery. (That's a whole other post). Then he seems to have a moment of doubt. Hey, I'm in chains because of it.... pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Even though I'm afraid it's going to get me in worse trouble.

That's exactly where I'm at right now. I've been going to a Bible study where we've been watching "The Way of the Master" videos by Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron. They show how they share the Gospel "the way the Master (Christ) did it" - first speaking to people's conscience about their sin so that, with a realization of their sin, comes a realization of a need for a Savior (examples: Jesus speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well, and to the rich young ruler).

It's been a very convicting study. I love to share my faith with people who are interested, and I have no hesitation to share the Gospel on this blog - for whoever may be reading. But where I stumble is in everyday conversation with "outsiders" as Paul calls them, those who do not believe in Christ. I don't remember that this might be an opportunity, or if I do, I suddenly freeze up in fear. It's a fear of awkwardness - changing the course of a conversation into an area where I will end up stumbling over my words, or giving up ina half-baked or lame attempt.

I also have a dislike of coming across as judgmental, forcing my opinion (unasked for) on other people. But a lot of that can be circumvented with wording just like what Jesus used:  "it is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick... I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matt 9: 12). I keep telling myself that if I practice more I'll get more comfortable with it.

Another thing I keep telling myself is "just share your story."  That's what Paul did, multiple times, in Acts. He'd share how he persecuted believers and then Jesus spoke to him directly, how he lost his sight and three days later regained it at the touch of another believer. I LOVE to share my testimony, even just a short thirty second version. But I almost NEVER get the opportunity (or take advantage of an opportunity).  I need to pray more like Paul - for that open door, and for the willingness to walk through it even though at first it may feel awkward or scary.

 At church, our pastor encourages us to "raise our flag" when we meet other people - let them know right away that you're a believer.  As in, "So what do you do?" "I'm an engineer at such and such company. How 'bout you?" "I'm a pastor."  Hey, it's easy for him! But I've been reminding myself next time I'm asked I could say something like, "I'm a GIS analyst at the university, and I'm also a follower of Jesus."  He says that a lot of time if you just let people know who you are, that will naturally start a conversation and may raise some questions, very often leading to the opportunity to "share your story" and with it, the Gospel.

A little more about this "Way of the Master" study. They show clip after clip of going out to public places and saying "hello" to strangers and then asking them a question ("hey, have you seen one of these?" while handing them a gospel tract), and then following up with a series of questions that ends with the Gospel. All the examples they show the people listen and answer semi-politely and many of them appear to have a change of heart as they are confronted with their sin.

This is a typical conversation:

Ray: "Hey have you seen one of these?" (Hands a gospel tract.)  "Do you have a Christian background?"

Other person: "I used to go to church, but I don't any more."

Ray: "Do you consider yourself to be a good person?"  (doesn't get sidetracked about why the person doesn't go to church anymore.)

Other person: "Yes, I consider myself to be a good person!" (of course!)

Ray:  "Do you keep the ten commandments? Have you ever lied?"

Other person: "Only white lies. In some cases lies are okay."

Ray: "But you have told a lie. What do you call a person who lies?" (doesn't get sidetracked into argument about whether white lies are okay or not)

Other person: "A liar."

Ray: "Have you ever stolen something? It doesn't matter how young you were or how inexpensive it was."

Other: "Yes."

Ray: "What do you call someone who steals?"

Other: "A stealer." (grin). "A thief."

Ray: "Have you ever looked at another person with lust? Jesus said anyone who even thinks about another person that way has committed adultery with them in his heart; that's another commandment."  (Jesus showed us that God isn't just concerned with the outward keeping of the commandments, He's also concerned with what's going on in our hearts).

Other: "Well, who hasn't?"

Ray: "So you have looked with lust on another person. Have you ever taken the Lord's name in vain? That's called blasphemy."

Other: "Yes." (usually be this time they aren't offering arguments or excuses any more.)

Ray: "So, by your own admission, you've broken at least four of the ten commandments. If God were to judge you by the ten commandments, would you be innocent or guilty?"

Other: "Innocent. God is understanding. We all make mistakes."

Ray: "If you were guilty of a crime and standing in a court room and you told the judge, 'Let me off because I know you are a forgiving judge and everyone makes mistakes', what do you think the judge would do? Just let you go?" (another thing to say is, "if you believe God won't judge you for breaking the commandments, you are basically creating a god you can be comfortable with. That's breaking the 2nd commandment - you shall not make yourself a graven image, or in other words you shall not make another god for yourself").

Other: "No."

Ray: "If God judged you by whether you kept the ten commandments, would you go to heaven or hell?"

Other: "I don't believe in heaven or hell."

Ray: "Okay, hypothetically, if there was a heaven and hell, which would you get for breaking the ten commandments?" (avoids getting sidetracked into argument about whether heaven or hell exists). 

Other: "Probably hell."

Ray: "Does that concern you?"

Other:  "No. It doesn't concern me." (acting a little belligerent)

Ray: "Let me ask you this. If I offered you a million dollars for both your eyes, or even one eye, would you sell it to me?"

Other: "No way!"

Ray: "Our eyes are valuable to us, more than anything else we could buy with money. Now, if our eyes are so valuable to us, how much more so our souls? Jesus said, 'What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?' So, if your soul is in danger of going to hell, shouldn't that concern you?"

Other: "Yes."

Ray: "What if you're in that courtroom and the judge is about to send you to prison for life, and someone steps in and says, 'I'll take the penalty for him, so he can go free.' Would you take it?"

Other: "Yes."

Ray: "That's what Jesus did for you. He died on the cross for our sins, so that anyone who turns from their sins and believes that Jesus took the penalty of their sins, can be set free and be assured of heaven. Will you turn from your sins and trust in Jesus to take your penalty?"

Other: "I'll think about it."

Ray: "Get a Bible and read it and see for yourself. God speaks to us through the Bible, His Word." (Always leave them with the source of the Truth).

Listening to these conversations is the most amazing experience. You see the people start out doubtful or  belligerent. Then their attitude changes as they become convicted (at least in the ones they show. I'm sure there's many a case they aren't showing where people get angry or just walk way).

The thing about these conversations, the ones they show are all with strangers. When I think about trying to have this conversation with my father, who is very, very, VERY opposed to anything Christian, or to my stepdaughter, who lately has taken to rolling her eyes about anything we share about our faith, I could see this conversation turning out very badly, maybe even damaging my relationship with them.

But maybe that's the Enemy whispering to me, too. "Don't even try it, it's going to turn out very badly. They'll hate Christianity even more. They may even hate you for confronting them so directly."

Just like the Enemy surely whispered to Paul while he was in chains. "Don't keep trying to share the Gospel. You'll end up even worse than you are now."

But then again, what about all those times when Paul shared the Gospel at the synagogues and after all the angry Jews had chased him away,  two or three or more found him later and begged him to tell them more? Who am I to guess where a person is in their life, that they might not be suddenly eager to hear of hope, of freedom from the pain and guilt and brokenness they are experiencing? For many years I scoffed at any attempt friends made to witness to me. Then, one day after a long stretch of depression and misery, I remembered what they'd said, and I wanted to learn more.

That image at the top of this post says "Faith is the bridge between where I am and where God is taking me."

Where I am right now: scared to share the Gospel. Afraid of damaging relationships because it is offensive to those who are still blind.

Where God is taking me: excited to share the Gospel because for all the rejections and scorn I may face, eventually there will be one or more people ready to hear it. Or if they aren't ready now, maybe they will remember someday what I shared. So, in the meantime, can I trust him about the "damaged relationships" part? Can I trust Him?

So many things in life we have to ask ourselves, can I trust Him?

In everything else I have trusted Him with, He has always carried me through.

There's my answer.

You might not finish this chapter

... that's the title of the second chapter of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. I read this book last year and it keeps coming back to mind. There were important points that I didn't want to forget, that I wanted to think about more, put into practice more...

My plan is to address a chapter at a time in a blog post, and how it impacted me (and more importantly, what I'm doing about it). Here was the post for Chapter One: Stop Praying (?!?) from last month.

Why is it called "You might not finish this chapter" ? We really shouldn't have any delusions about our future - we are NOT in control of it. We can make plans, but the outcome - we could die tomorrow in a freak accident. Or, before finishing a chapter of a book. Jesus gave a very specific example of this in a parable of a rich man who died without warning in the midst of all his grand plans. 

In about fifty years (give or take a couple of decades) no one will remember you. Everyone you know will be dead. Certainly no one will care what job you had, what car you drove, what school you attended, or what clothes you wore.

What are we living our lives for? I had to ask myself that question the past week. I volunteered to help teach at our church's vacation bible school, which included a lot of prep work for a week's worth of lessons for two classes, putting together props and crafts and decorations, thinking of ways to make the lesson engaging and interactive and personal - and meaningful. At the same time, I had a looming deadline at work. I knew the two commitments were going to conflict and add stress. In the midst of this week I was questioning why I had taken on too much.

But at the end of the week (whew), I have no doubts. Everyday my four kids went with me to VBS. We were in some classes and activities together. The older girls helped me paint and hang decorations. We talked about everything going on. My daughter Dreamer wrote her memory verse on our front steps with sidewalk chalk. Because the theme was Creation, we talked about all the cool animals they'd learned about that God made, and how He made them special in so many ways.

"A thrill ride through God's creation"

Even more, I saw many other families volunteering together at church, working and playing together for a whole week, teenagers helping with all sorts of things from crafts to skits. Teenagers!! (Gives me hope!) Not to mention the kids who participated who maybe heard the gospel for the first time. (I love that our VBS leaders asked us from the very moment we committed to this plan to pray for the kids. I am glad this post has also reminded me to pray for them, now that it is over. That they would remember, and the seed planted would grow.)

These are things we should live our lives for. Not necessarily "churchy" things but things we do together, with friends and family, volunteering for a bigger effort than our own personal achievement, and doing something where God is the center, the reason for it all.

Sadly, many people die while living selfishly. Their funerals are filled up by individuals who stretch the truth in order to create a semblance of a meaningful life. Nobody would dare say an unkind word at the funeral; there is an unspoken obligation to come up with something nice to say about the person who died.... When we face the holy God, "nice" isn't what we will be concerned with, and it definitely isn't what He will be thinking about. Any compliments you received on earth with gone; all that will be left for you is truth.

Silver and gold I do not have...

I finally found my notes from Beth Moore's Living Proof conference from last November, in Casper, Wyoming. I want to share some highlights from the notes I took - her messages never fail to open my eyes to new, "wonderful things" in God's Word.

Beth's message was on Acts 3:1-10, when Peter and John saw  the lame man begging at the temple gate.

The beggar doesn't have a name, so it easy to put ourselves in his place. We may not be lame of foot and unable to walk, but we are all begging for something, whether it is love, security, strength, success, etc.

I most frequently find myself longing for friendship and validation; also for freedom from my blue or grumpy moods (which at times even sink into depression).  I have a loving family which provides 90% of the friendship and validation I need, but that last 10% still leaves me longing.

Which is just proof to me that human beings are never completely satisfied. No matter how much we have, we always want more. Beth's point is that when we try to rely on other humans (or material things) for our fulfillment, we never will stop begging. We must look to God to fill that hole that no one else or no thing can fill. 

Beth's next point was that sometimes we beg for the lesser thing we need. The beggar needed to walk, but he'd been lame his whole life, so he didn't think to ask for that. He was begging for food or money. We learn to support ourselves in our infirmity rather than asking for freedom from infirmity.

"Fixing his eyes on him, Peter said, 'Look at us.' So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. Then Peter said, "Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk."

Part of our own healing involves helping others. Beth asked us to rephrase Peter's declaration in our own words:

"I do not have much money. But what I do have, I can give. I have a tender heart brimming with compassion for those who are hurting. I have a heart to teach young children (and my children) about all the wonderful things in God's Word. I long more than anything to share the wonderful things God has done for me and taught me, and I think He has gifted me to share them through telling or writing stories."

Beth pointed out that a "fixed, intent gaze" is used 10 different times in Acts. Instead of focusing on our needs, we  fix it on someone else in need.

This is what I want to learn: to see when a hand is needed (or a listening ear) - to be fully present for another person who is in need. To be able to push past my own comfort zone (e.g. selfish zone), to find a common ground, and not miss opportunities to listen, help, and possibly share my stories of God's grace. 

God can use our healing to make others want to find their healing through Him, but we cannot ever force healing on others, or expect them to be healed in the same way we were. 

Near the end of the conference, there were prayer volunteers available. I have never done this before at other conferences, but this time I went down and asked for prayer for Joy who is fighting cancer and for my dad who has Parkinson's. The lady put her hands on my shoulders and prayed for Joy and Dad and prayed for me, too. Afterwards I thanked her, and then asked, "is there anything I can pray for you?" She admitted that she was still struggling with the death of her adult son, two years ago. I was stunned. She has suffered a devastating loss, and yet she was there volunteering to pray for others, even strangers.

She was "living proof" that part of the healing process is reaching out to help others.

Two worlds together

When I was reading John 16:33 it came to me so clearly that we live in two worlds together, at the same time: the spiritual world and the physical world. But we are usually only aware of the physical world. Like sailing on the water - we know there is another world beneath it, but we don't often think of it.

John 16:33 In me you may have peace. In the world [the physical world] you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world.

Jesus doesn't speak directly of the spiritual world here, but it is sort of implied. In this world we have trouble, but He offers a place (in Him) where we can find peace, no matter the circumstances in our physical world.

Someday we will actually see the spiritual world - the kingdom of God - heaven. Right now we have a mysterious unseen access to it via Christ. It isn't escapism, because it takes an enormous effort of the will to put aside the consuming cares and distractions of the world to focus on Christ. But I find it helps if I imagine the spiritual world as existing right alongside ours, present but invisible, reachable via Christ's outstretched hand.

A couple years ago I read C.S. Lewis' collection of essays in the Weight of Glory, and was amazed by the essay Transposition. Lewis uses several examples of transposing things from one system to another, this one was my favorite:

When transposing a three-dimensional shape onto a two-dimensional drawing, the artist must learn how to arrange merely two-dimensional shapes so as to convey the sense of three dimensions.   A cube is formed by arranging two trapezoids in a certain way along side a square.  Now to anyone well acquainted with three dimensions, the shapes arranged in this manner are immediately seen as a cube, but to someone less than three dimensional, the shapes will appear as nothing more than a collection of trapezoids and a square. 

Lewis envisioned a conversation in a two-dimensional world between someone who doubted the third dimension and someone who believed in it:

“You keep on telling me of this other world and its unimaginable shapes which you call solid.  But isn’t it very suspicious that all the shapes which you offer me as images or reflections of the solid ones turn out on inspection to be simply the old two-dimensional shapes of my own world as I have always known it?  Is it not obvious that your vaunted other world, so far from being the archetype, is a dream which borrows all its elements from this one?” 

Living in the physical world, we are like that poor creature who lives in a two dimensional world. Now matter how you try to draw the real 3-D world so he can see it, he simply can't imagine it - he sees only two dimensional shapes.

To further extend the analogy, our physical world is three dimensional. What if the spiritual world exists in four dimensions all around us, like three dimensions exist all around a flat piece of paper, but we simply can't perceive it because our eyes and other senses are not engineered to do so? (Though they will be able to someday, when we receive our glorified bodies).

So with us. We know not what we will be, but we may be sure we shall be more, not less, than we were on earth. Our natural experiences (sensory, emotional, imaginative) are only like the drawing, like penciled lines on flat paper. If they vanish in the risen life, they will vanish only as pencil lines vanish from the real landscape, not as a candle flame that is put out, but as a candle flame which becomes invisible because someone has pulled up the blind, thrown open the shutters, and let in the blaze of the risen sun.

Meanwhile, we live in a world where we can only see the blaze of heaven when it is transposed into something familiar to us.

I think God has in fact transposed the spiritual world for us to "see" (as much as we are able) via his Word. 

Oh, what a thought.

I think He also transposes the spiritual world for us in other ways: when for instance a beautiful sunset strikes our heart. Or even a beautiful piece of art or music - created by another person, yes, but perhaps inspired by some momentary glimpse of something outside of  our familiar realm.  (C.S. Lewis actually addresses this in two other essays: Is Theology Poetry? and The Weight of Glory).

Another blogger, Ron Dodson, wrote an essay about Transposition and I loved how he extended it to visualizing the relation of faith and reason:

But what is central to realize here is that this higher spiritual understanding does not necessarily come from the natural facts themselves, but rather it is discerned through a kind of intuition or sense that exceeds or stands above the raw information.  This offers us a context for understanding faith within our post-enlightenment climate. 

Faith is seeing the divine through the physical.   Faith is seeing the eternal through the mortal.  It is distinguished from reason in that the mere physical realities do not in and of themselves demand the divine reality, and yet they also do not deny them.  Reason and faith both operate in the realm of truth, though from different levels and from within different perspectives.  The truth of God requires faith to see it, it cannot be seen by reason alone.  

And yet we are unable to separate faith and reason any more than we can separate the physical reality from the divine reality.  It is in fact the assemblage of the two dimensional shapes in a certain way which hints at the third dimension.  It is the physical reality assembled and offered in a certain way which allows us to somehow see the divine reality.  And yet, from within the physical reality I am not able to fully or sufficiently make the case for the divine, but I still see it. I see it by faith.

My desire is to be more aware of how God is actively transposing His truth around me... in other words, to seek Him more.

On women pastors and other controversial subjects

My dear friends FedEx and Charity visited a couple weeks and we spent several wonderful nights staying up late talking about their ministry, church, new friends, and some controversial topics such as "can women be preachers or pastors" and the verses on homosexuality in the Bible.

I love their ministry,  "Men of Praise" - a motorcycle ministry based in Colorado Springs. They regularly have people into their home for dinner and fellowship and I love to hear stories about the people that they meet and their missional way of living. They are truly living out a life of grace and love, and that thrills me. I am always convicted that I should be living more of a life like that, reaching out more.

But when it came to their theology on women pastors and homosexuals, I was uneasy. I told them I would dig into the Word and consider some of things they shared, in the spirit of Acts 17:11, where the Bereans "examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."

They explained that the original Greek words in 1 Tim 2:11-12 (on women) and Romans 1:26, 27 (on homosexuals) are mistranslated. The verses relating to homosexuals may instead pertain to temple prostitutes, so we should not call homosexuality a sin.   I looked at these verses in the Blue Letter Bible (which gives you hyperlinks to a Greek lexicon and concordance - thank you FedEx for telling me about this great resource!).

I couldn't find anyway to interpret Romans 1:26,27 except as homosexuality (the words are very specific and address both male and female homosexuality) and that it is unnatural and unclean (1:24) and is one of the acts of a reprobate mind (1:28) that leads to death (1:32).

Charity has been ministering to a girl who is homosexual. She has welcomed her into her home and church and Bible study as a friend. They've discussed that while sex outside of marriage (which includes homosexual sin, because the Bible does not support same sex marriage) is sin. However, is a "homosexual bent" still sin, if the person in question is not committing any immoral acts? Such a person can never marry, but if they do not marry, and abstain from sex, then... they are not in sin. Still trying to wrap my head around this.

Matthew 5:27,28 says: You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So we know that it is also sin to lust after someone even if you don't act on it - but this would be true for both homosexuals and heterosexuals, and certainly all of us as Christians have stumbled over lustful thoughts and confessed them to the Lord.  

I love that Charity is embracing this girl and loving her whole-heartedly. I love that her church and Bible study are welcoming the girl without judgment or condemnation even though she dresses differently and talks differently and has a "scary" background. Does Romans 1:26,27 or any other related verses say that as Christians we should not love homosexuals, befriend them, invite them to our churches and Bible studies so that they can learn about God, His love and His Word and His grace that saves us?

What happens when a homosexual is in a church or Bible study and they start asking about those verses? We shouldn't make any excuses or stretch interpretations for those verses. It's important for everyone to study exactly what the verses do say but also what they don't say. For instance, they don't say that homosexuals are excluded from God's love and grace.

I think it's also important not to focus solely on topical studies of any one thing in the Bible, whether it's issues pertaining to women or homosexuals or drinking or anything else. We all know that we have to take verses in context, both immediate context but also the context of an entire chapter, book, even the entire Bible itself. Let us always remind each other that we are ALL sinners, that we are all guilty whether our sins are homosexuality, greed, pride, or host of others. We are all equally in need of God's grace.

We should always come back to the essential teachings such as in Matt 22:36-40:

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commands."

The question of women as pastors came up because FedEx and Charity really admire a church in Denver called the Refuge, which is a missional church, reaching out to many people who would most likely feel rejected or at least uncomfortable in a traditional evangelical church (you know the stereotype: "we don't drink or dance or chew or go with girls who do.")

The Refuge has three co-pastors, one of them a woman.

I looked up the website for the Refuge and here's what their "about" page,
http://www.therefugeonline.org/about.html, says:


We believe (so far):

• Jesus meant everything He said
• the Bible
• the Bible is in places hard to understand and even harder to apply
• that believing is sometimes difficult
• the more we learn of and experience God, the more questions we have
• miracles happen, sometimes quickly, but mostly they are so slow in coming
• we need each other to know God fully and live the life He dreams for us
• it is our responsibility to advocate for and tangibly love the poor, marginalized, and oppressed in equality and dignity for all regardless of sex, race, socioeconomic status, or a myriad of other things that typically cause us to power up on others
• we are embarrassed by how the word "Christian" is perceived in the world today and we are sorry for our part in that
• that mostly people need to be loved, not just told they are
• church is messy
 

Wow. I love everyone of these statements and I think they are all true.

I think there is a very real problem that many people feel either judged or uncomfortable in church and therefore avoid it (even some believing followers of Jesus).

Church is messy - that is so true!!! I love my church, where I have been a member for 16 years, but there have been times I disagreed with the leadership, wanted to walk out in the middle of sermons in a huff, have felt shamed, judged, belittled, or felt that I was inconsequential, unloved, an awkward outsider who doesn't fit in.

A little bit of this was the fault of people in the church. MOST OF IT however was the fault of a certain devious being called Satan who loves to tear apart churches as much as he does families. And some of it was my own fault, my own selfish sinful nature demanding attention and affirmation and a host of other things.

Now I come from a pretty clean background without any drugs, alcohol, prostitution, abuse, or criminal records. I still have some issues in my past - shoplifting in high school that I never was caught at, sleeping around in college, lots of insecurity still remaining because I've never made friends easily and often feel overlooked. But anyway, my point is that if it's this hard for me to feel comfortable in church with my relatively clean background, I can imagine how hard it must be for someone with a criminal record or a drug habit to walk into a church or brave it on a regular basis. Especially if they are truly repenting and trying to keep from falling back into sin, but they keep falling - just like I consistently fall back into my area of weakness and sin, over-eating. The Bible clearly states that gluttony is a sin, and yet my "sin" is a lot more acceptable in the church's eyes than adultery, homosexuality or drug use or drunkenness.

The idea of a church as a refuge, where anyone can come, regardless of what pit they were just pulled out of (or might still be in), is a wonderful thing.  Why our churches often fail could cover a hundred blog posts or more.

The issue I'm dealing with in this blog post is women pastors. But I guess the stuff I just wrote about above sort of points to how complicated all of this church business is, how touchy we all are.

So I went back to the Blue Letter Bible to analyze 1 Tim 2:11-12 and I really recommend to anyone the extra time it takes to look up the Greek words (esp. now that it's so easy), because you learn so much. For instance, the Greek word hēsychia is used twice in these verses, for quietness and silent:

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.

The Greek word has two meanings: the first one describes "the life of one who stays at home doing his own work, and does not officiously meddle with the affairs of others." The second meaning is just, silence.

My guess is the first meaning is the one that applies to this verse and it really adds a new dimension to the verse, doesn't it? I was raised by a feminist mother, and the idea of having to be silent and let men do all the talking really rankles. But the idea of not meddling in the affairs of others is actually really good, sensible advice.

So then there's the "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man" issue which is the basis for not allowing female pastors.

The Greek word for teach is didaskō. It has a pretty straightforward definition - it covers pretty much every aspect of teaching. It's really hard to wiggle around this one, folks. Some people discount Paul as a chauvinist, but that's pretty much the only excuse to get around this directive. We're just going to have to trust that God knows what he's doing when he commands women (through Paul) not to teach men.

The Greek word for authority is authenteō. This is a little more interesting. It's only used once in the entire Bible, and the lexicon gives these meanings:

1) one who with his own hands kills another or himself

2) one who acts on his own authority, autocratic

3) an absolute master

4) to govern, exercise dominion over one

Christian feminism really gets excited over this word - I won't go into details because it's all gone over in detail in this post, The Mistranslation of 1 Timothy 2:11-12. Their argument basically boils down to there are two types of authority used in the NT, and women should stay away (rightly) away from authenteo type of authority, but there's nothing that says they can't exercise the other type of authority - a spiritual type of authority - over men. 

However, that ignores the rest of the verse about not teaching and the following verses 13-15 that back this up. Again, this post is already too long to go into detail but here's an excellent post, Eve was deceived so now I'm paying with silence? that explains it very well. It's written by a woman trying to reconcile her feminist tendencies with the Word of God. It's also worth mentioning that the next chapter of 1 Timothy details requirements for pastors and elders, and one requirement is that they be men.

So I don't believe the Word of God allows for women pastors but I'm still glad FedEx and Charity brought this up so that I'd be challenged to dig into a study of the controversy.

And am I going to jump all over this church, the Refuge, and point my accusatory finger, because they have a woman pastor? No. I'd actually like to visit them sometime. I could probably learn a lot. If God wills it that they change their position on women pastors, it will happen: but a lot of shouting and gesturing and Bible thumping on the part of us sinful, quick-to-judge humans isn't going to help.

I'd rather focus on the bigger issue: the needs of  the poor, the sick, the lost. Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matt 9:12-13). And that's what the Refuge is trying to do. That's what FedEx and Charity are trying to do. Bravo, and Amen. I support them.

Note: I'm still studying (and praying) about all this; I'm still learning and always open to direction from God and His Word, from my church, and my husband (my sources of authority) on these matters. I also realize that there are verses such as 1 Corinthians 5:11 and others, that should be taken into consideration before reaching conclusions. Understanding is always a journey.

1000 gifts: the first map ever made

Continuing my list of gifts, blessings that I write down to remember all the wonderful things that God gives me along life's journey (from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience).


368. The stars are the first map ever made
My seven year old, Dreamer, had to sit in my office one day while I finished working on a map. She asked on of my co-workers, "Does my mom make nice maps?" and he answered, "the best." Then after a while, she came up with this gem, "Mom, are the stars the first map ever made?" It's true, actually, if you think about it.

369. Beth Moore live

A bunch of my friends from church carpooled up to Casper, WY for one of Beth Moore's Living Proof conferences. She shared wonderful insights gleaned from Acts 3:1-10 and Acts 14: 8-13 about the two occasions where the apostles healed lame men. She had fun stuff to share too like how her grandson learned sign language for "WOW!" (unofficial version, like this picture), and how she loves visiting Wyoming even though the wind blew the bleach right off her hair.

370. Strange violin tunes
One night Blaze was practicing her violin and started this awful, off-pitch version of Mary Had A Little Lamb. "You're playing that wrong!" I call out to her. "No Mom, I'm playing it right. This is "Mary Had A Dying Lamb."

371. Bridal shower - Famous couples game

Here's Blaze oogling all the shower gifts

I hosted a bridal shower for N.L. at my house and had a lot of  fun involving everyone in the Famous Couples Games (we had 35 guests!) Everyone got to pick the names of a famous couple out of a basket: Adam & Eve, Romeo & Juliet, Scarlett & Rhett, to name a few. Then they had to mark who they thought was N.L's favorite couple, least favorite couple, and which couple she thought was most like her & her fiance. Their choices cracked me up!! She picked Shrek and Fiona, but some of the popular votes were Beauty & the Beast, Han Solo & Princess Leia, unfortunate lass & pirate Jack Sparrow, and Elizabeth Bennett & Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice.

372. The "cut store"
When anybody complimented twins on their new bob haircuts they got this month, they would happily say, "yeah! We went to the cut store!"

373. High school jokes
This is an example of the kind of jokes that Stars brings home from high school.
"Ask me if I'm tree." (she poses as a tree, holding her arms out like tree limbs)
"Are you a tree?"
"No." (with a roll of her eyes).

374. Mary Jane jokes 
So Stars was sharing some of her "duh" jokes with N.L. and N.L. shared some of her favorite Mary Jane jokes back. (I've never heard these before, and neither had Stars. They're so awful we had to laugh)

Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew the shark was never going to help that man!

Mary Jane burnt down the barn one day, and her mother said "Mary Jane! You're in big trouble when your father gets home!"
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in that barn.  

375. Made-up songs
This is what I heard Dreamer singing one day (and teaching it to the twins):

"Sister, sister, what do you say? We praise God and pray, pray"

376. CRS syndrome ("Can't remember stuff")
We visited the in-laws for Thanksgiving and this is what my sister-in-law Melissa claims she's suffering from . Except her version is "Can't remember sh**"
I thought it was hilarious because I have this syndrome pretty bad, too.

377. Cousins riding horses together
Grandpa B. got his horse Red and Joy's horse Little Bit out for the girls to ride. Blaze and Bre were soon riding them all over the yard - Blaze riding bareback, showing off of course!

378. A bible on the lamp table
I noticed that Joy had a bible sitting on the lamp table next to her favorite chair and I asked her about it - she says she is reading it regularly. She also talked more about her beliefs than I've ever heard her share before. I know two of her daughters, Monica and Crystal, have been trying to encourage her with verses as she struggles with fighting cancer and how sick the chemo is making her. 

379. Footprints in the Sand poem
An old friend of the family, Chris, called me up out of the blue this fall and we've been in touch ever since (mostly via texting). He and his family have been going through some really tough times this year. At one point I told him I was a Jesus freak, but I didn't say anything else: I like to wait and see if other people have any questions or comments about it before I force any more on them.

Chris didn't say much in response, until about a month later, he called me up again and asked me a bunch of questions about why I was a Jesus freak. I ended up getting to share my whole testimony of coming to know God with him. It turns out, he had a near death experience, and is now thinking that it was God who spared his life.

Also, he said that while he's heard about the Footprints in the Sand poem before, recently he saw it again some place and suddenly it had a great impact on him. (Reminds me of how I always loved the song Amazing Grace, but it wasn't until I believed in God that I really understood what the words of the song were saying!)

380.  Finding the verse you've been searching for 
This one is so monumental to me I'm saving it for a whole post of its own... 

More musings on Avatar, part 2

I had always felt life first as a story-and if there is a story there is a storyteller. ~ G.K. Chesterton

In Part 1, I talked about my theory that the Christian symbolism in Avatar contributes more to the movie's popularity than its pantheistic themes.

In Part 2, I'm looking at the mythic structure that you see in Avatar and in thousands of other movies and books. And relating that to the story of our own lives.

The Christian elements in Avatar are overshadowed by pantheism and deep ecology, but they are still there. In addition, the movie follows an archetypal story structure, the elements of the “hero’s journey”. We know that the great myths of almost every culture follow a very similar structure, as identified by Joesph Campbell in his "Hero with a Thousand Faces" - and that modern stories following this structure, such as Avatar, continue to be incredibly popular.

The mythic structure is all over the place. You see it mirrored in the plots of many movies and books, and not just science fiction and fantasy books. A hero is forced to leave his or her ordinary world (either physically or metaphorically) and go somewhere new and sometimes scary (Jake leaves earth and arrives on Pandora; he leaves his physical body and has to adjust to a new body and a new culture). On the way he encounters enemies and allies, and faces trials he must overcome. At some point he faces his darkest moment/greatest fear (he is imprisoned, the enemies destroy the Nav'ii home), gains important knowledge that helps him in his victory (he asks the Nav'ii goddess for help) which he is able to share with others to help them or even save them.

You find this basic structure in Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and almost all Disney movies (here's a funny post that shows how the synopsis of Disney's Pocahantas can be changed to Avatar just by substituting a few names). But if you look close enough you also find it in classic novels, like To Kill a Mockingbird, Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind, or stories from the Bible (Abraham, Jacob, Joesph, Moses, David, just to name a few) or other myths (Greek, Norse, Eastern, etc)... there are variations of course but the basic structure still fits.

So why are these archetypal elements of being forced into new and scary things, facing your greatest fears, learning important knowledge and sharing it, so universal? Do these archetypal elements predate Christianity and other current and historic religions or did religion create this mythic structure and propagate it?

I suppose that's like asking what came first, the chicken or the egg. No way to prove it. But I think myth came first (no comment about the chicken and the egg).

I think myth came first because the hero's journey is something that resonates with us so deeply because it is a reflection of our own journey. We are constantly having to face trials in our life. We look the hero myths to see how they dealt with even bigger, scarier trials than we've had to face. We discover that they found help even in their darkest hour, and victory. C.S. Lewis, in his essay "Is Theology Poetry?" tackles the relation of religion and myths. He says myths are a sort of divine illumination vouchsafed to all men.

We should, therefore, expect to find in the imagination of great Pagan teachers and myth makers some glimpse of that theme which we believe to be the very plot of the whole cosmic story - the theme of incarnation, death, and rebirth - [another type of the hero's journey]. And the difference between the Pagan Christs (Balder, Osiris, etc) and the Christ Himself is much what we should expect to find... It is the difference between a real event [Christ's death and resurrection] on the one hand, and dim dreams or premonitions of that same event on the other. It is like watching something come gradually into focus; first it hangs in the clouds of myth and ritual, vast and vague, then it condenses... as an historical event in first century Palestine.

The hero's journey, as retold over and over again in different stories, condenses into our own lives, too. We can see our lives as a random mix of wonderful and awful events, which abruptly ends in our death -story over. Or we can see it as a journey through trials, where we receive help and learn things along the way, and ultimately we face our greatest enemy- death - and overcome it with the faith we learned - that there is an even better life waiting for us.

What do you think about the hero's journey?

God With Us

If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: “God with us.” We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ. The greater truth of the holiday is His deity. More astonishing than a Baby in the manger is the truth that this promised Baby is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth!

~ John F. MacArthur, Jr.


If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: "God with us." I thought that was worth repeating.

Many of us have heard the saying "it's not about religion, it's about relationship" - in fact many of us have said these very words when we are trying to share our faith with others, especially when we hear people say "I believe in God, but I think religions/churches are all messed up".

"God with us" emphasizes the relationship aspect, particularly the part where God initiates a relationship with us, He seeks us, He goes even so far to come to earth as one of us, and not as we would expect - not coming to earth in all his flashing Glory to make us tremble in awe. But He instead He came to earth as a newborn baby, the most helpless state of human being. "The Word became flesh and lived among us." (John 1:14) He wanted to share with us in our human experience, through each stage of growth and experience. So He can relate to us. And we can also relate to Him who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, our temptations, our pains, even our tears - because He experienced them all, too.

I'm not sure if you can have any sort of real relationship with another being if you can't relate to them on some level. We all desire to connect to each other in some way. We want to tell someone our experience and have them say "Oh, yes! I understand! I had something like that happen to me too!"

I believe the closest relationships are the ones where we relate to each other the most. Parents and children, because they spend so much of their lives together. They have so much history, so many shared experiences. Even most rebellious teens, once they mellow with age a little, start to realize they have a lot they can relate to with their parents.

Now husbands and wives, this is a very interesting relationship because it starts later in life, and initially one might find a few things (mainly, hormones!) that you relate to each other on; but you also discover a myriad of things about each other that you don't relate to at all! But you stick with your mate - sometimes only because you made vows and the vows are the only thing keeping you together. But gradually, because you are with each other, more common experiences accumulate that glue you closer together. And one day you wake up and find out that your love for your husband is much, much stronger than it was when you were married. What you thought was love, back then, has deepened into something strong and refined and beautiful, tested by and strengthened by trials.

"God with us" is kind of like the parent/child relationship, and the husband/wife relationship, and the friend/friend relationship, all wrapped up in one, with an additional element that we have no earthly comparison to because God is, after all, God, an infinite and omniscient and glorious being. His ways are above our ways. He is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see (1 Timothy 6:15-16).

On a personal note, I'm so glad I came across this quote and took the time to ponder it, because everything else about December so far has felt rushed and stressed. I am not used to having to work so much this time of year, or having looming deadlines. I'd like to take time to trim my tree, string lights outside, bake cookies with the girls, unearth a few more Christmas CD's to play. But this has made me sit back and concentrate on the MOST important thing. Thank you Lord.

The quote from John McArthur was chosen by the writer of Scraps and Snippets blog. Each Friday a new quote is shared on http://writingcanvas.wordpress.com/, along with the host site for the week. Anyone wanting to participate can ponder on the quote and write about about it on their blog, then link your post to the host blog.

Why tolerance isn't enough

I send this blog out as a challenge. I contend that promoting secular tolerance to achieve world peace - or even just local peace - will not succeed.

The following is a quote that I'm sure many people would agree with:

"I am heartily sick of the type of religion that insists my soul (and everyone else's) needs saving - whatever that means. I have never felt that I was lost. Nor do I feel that I daily wallow in the mire of sin, although repititive preaching insists that I do. Give me a practical religion that teaches gentleness and tolerance, that acknowledges no barriers of color or creed, that remembers the aged and teaches children of goodness, not sin."

It would seem that what the world wants is ethics, not religious truth. It wants tolerance preached, not salvation.

Okay, here is what (I think) would happen, if you replaced religion with ethics, and salvation with tolerance.

Everyone says tolerance is a good thing; we can't fathom why people in some some extremist religions are intolerant of other races or religions. Here's the problem: tolerance only works as long as no one gets hurt. Most of us Americans, who have never experienced someone else of a different nationality, race or religion suddenly appearing and threatening our lives or our livelihood, can sit in our relative safety and prosperity and scratch our heads and wonder why other people just can't be tolerant. But suppose your neighbor down the street suddenly starts harrassing you, threatening you. Telling you that you have to move out of the neighborhood because, say, you voted for someone in the last election that he doesn't approve of. You stand firm. Then, one of your kids gets beat within an inch of his life by the neighbor's kids. How tolerant are you, at this point? Look at the long-standing enmity between the Israelis and the Palestineans. They both claim the same land as their homeland, and over the years there has been too much bloodshed over "the neighborhood" for them to risk "tolerance" anymore.

Now, consider ethics. Ethics is basically the study of morality, or the study of what makes actions right and wrong. It can be pretty much summed up in the Golden Rule, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Or as its put in the quote above, "gentleness and tolerance." Even people who disdain the Bible and the Christian worldview will usually acknowledge that the Golden Rule (straight out of the Bible) is very wise.

The problem is, no one keeps the Golden Rule very well. We may try, yes. Everyone has been hurt by someone else at some point, and has reacted by being hurtful in return. Since human beings aren't very successful at keeping this one over-arching rule, what we devised instead is a whole series of rules and clauses for dealing with different circumstances. For instance, the issue of abortion. If you applied the Golden Rule to this, we wouldn't kill unborn babies because we wouldn't want someone to come along and kill us because we weren't wanted or we happened to show up at the wrong time or too soon or under difficult circumstances in someone else's life. But the Golden Rule is very difficult - especially, say, for a fifteen year old girl that gets pregnant after her boyfriend got her drunk and date-raped her. So we create a new rule for girls in that situation, that it's okay to get an abortion. Well then other people will argue, but what about my circumstances? Shouldn't I be allowed an abortion too, because of this, or that? More rules. Or, a new rule that says that unborn babies aren't really babies with human rights until they are born, or until the third trimester maybe.

So ethics holds up fairly well if you don't mind having to deal with hundreds, or thousands of rules. And if you don't like an exisiting rule because it doesn't benefit your particular sitaution, you can hire a lawyer and fight the rule, or march and protest to hopefully enact change. A lot of religions are also very rule-based, but here's an interesting point: it's the very rule-based religions that are generally called the "organized religions" that so many people are really disgusted with because of rampant hypocrisy not to mention terrible historical events like the Crusades, the Inquistion, and all the bloodshed that occurred following the Reformation.

So if tolerance only works when one one gets hurt, and ethics only works if we burden ourselves with endless rules and laws, why do so many people still hate the thought of the alternative: which is a religion that preaches the need for salvation?

Because it means admitting that we're flawed. That we are lost and in need of a Savior. That we can't operate on our best level or even on a consistently good level without God. The Golden Rule wasn't designed to operate alone: it is the second of two commandments, and the first one is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength". The two rules weren't meant to operate separate from each other. To love your neighbor as yourself (or do unto others as you have them do unto you) you need to first have that deep love relationship with God empowering you to love others, to be able to forgive them even when they hurt you instead of inflicting hurt back at them.

What would it take to bring peace between two nationalities or culture or races or religions that have been at war with each other for decades? Suppose an Palestinean and an Israeli find themselves in a burning building. The Israeli passes out. The Palestinean is almost out of the building, but he goes back and rescues the Israeli, even though it means he gets so badly burnt that he ends up dying. How do you think the Israeli and his family would view Palistineans after this event? The long-standing fear and distrust and hatred would finally be broken. It might just be in one family, but a noble sacrifice has won peace.

The same religion that gave us the Golden Rule, also gave us the only means by which humans can truly live out the Golden rule: Jesus died for us, to rescue us from the burning flames, to set us free, to show us the way to peace.

Here are some other challenges I've made. I love hearing responses and I'm always open to discussion.


Worldviews part 1: the truth is we need help

Worldviews part 2: What about suffering?

Some thoughts on Avatar and why it is so appealing

a mountaintop experience

Last weekend B. gave me Saturday "off" from kid-duty so I could go on a hike with a bunch of friends from my church, Laramie Valley Chapel. Treva has started a women's outdoor ministry, informally called the "BMW's", or Burly Mountain Women (though I called it "Barely Mountain Women" - referring to myself, of course. Treva really is a mountain woman - she has climbed mulitple Fourteeners in Colorado. I affectionately call her Gear Girl).

August 8 was the day to tackle climbing Medicine Bow Peak, the highest peak in Wyoming's Snowy Range at 12,013 feet. Meeting at the church at 6:30 am on a Saturday caused some grumbling, but leaving early was soon rewarded because we saw these three moose on our drive up to the trail head. (This has definitely been the summer for moose sightings! A couple weeks ago a young moose trotted right by our church, and then two days later B. saw two moose in our backyard and followed them through our neighborhood for a while. He said they were so big they didn't jump fences, they just stepped over them.)

Here we are just starting off on the trail, hiking around Lewis Lake.

The wildflowers were magnificent. Though everyone grows columbine in their backyards in Laramie, the domesticated flowers are never as beautiful as the wild ones.

Here we are taking a break to catch our breath. The lady beside me, Sophia, is 55 years old. I hope I am still climbing mountains at that age! The trail starts out nice and flat, but it quickly gets steep. Though only 1.8 miles from the trail head to the top of the mountain, it's a 2000 foot gain. We had to stop every 10 minutes or so for a quick breather. Near the top, I started to feel light-headed. Sheila and I standing at a magnificent overlook - Lake Marie at the base of the Snowy Range.

Here is Treva scrambling over boulders, near the top. At this point the trail completely disappears - it's just a boulder field, with rock piles or cairns to mark the direction.

Bouldering is hard work! Treva and I decide to take the easy route along a ridge of snow.

At last! Despite Sophia's claim that someone kept moving the top of the mountain back, here we all are finally at the very top! I did this climb about 12 years ago with my dear friend Karen, but I had forgotten how amazing the 360 degree view was! We also lucked out this time that it wasn't even very windy.

Standing (from left to right): Treva, Michelle, Heather
Sitting: Sheila, Kim, Sophia, me, Mehrnoosh

This mountaintop experience was more than just a great view and feeling of accomplishment. Before we started, Treva had given us each a card with these verses for us to memorize and meditate on during our trek.

1 Corinthians 15:1-5

Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve.

While we sat around on the boulders at the top sharing trail mix and other goodies, some of us recited these verses from memory and then Treva talked a little a bit about how important the Gospel is, but how we are tempted sometimes to try to "dress it up" to make it more appealing as we try to share it. But really it is powerful all by itself.

It started a great discussion with Sheila's friend Mehrnoosh, a Muslim from Iran who is a graduate student in Engineering here at the University of Wyoming. She is very smart, a real thinker. She shared that she has many misgivings about Islam, but she couldn't see that Christianity was all that different. She sees Christ as a prophet, and so views him the same as the Muslim prophets. We tried to explain how Christ was different from the other prophets because he was both 100% God and 100% man - basically God becoming man, just like us, so He could experience what we experience. Because He was a man like us, he encountered all the same temptations we face, but because he was God he was able to overcome these temptations and never sin. And because he never sinned, He was therefore able to a "perfect" sacrifice for our sins, so that when we believe in Him we are saved - rescued - from the penalties of our own sins.

She also asked us how we could believe that what our Bible says is 100% true, because she feels things have been added to the Quran over the years to corrupt it for specific purposes (suppression of women, for one. I was pleased to hear that Iran does allow women to vote, but of course their last election was completely bogus. Mehrnoosh was very upset about that). So then Treva gave this truly inspired description of how the Bible was written by over 40 authors over a thousand years and yet none of it contradicted and all the prophecies about Christ came true. And to top it off, the another hiker came along and overheard our conversation and then proceeded to add additional arguments. He was a believer too. (Praise You, God for sending him along too right at that moment!)

Treva also asked Mehrnoosh if she remembered the story of Abraham being asked by God to sacrifice Isaac. She said yes, this story is in the Quran too. Then Treva said, "do you remember how at the last minute God told Abraham to stop, and that God provided a ram as a sacrifice instead? and she said yes. "That's Jesus," Treva said. "the sacrifice was Jesus."

I don't know if that made any impression on Mehrnoosh, but we were all thrilled that we got to have a discussion with her about the Gospel and "plant seeds." I don't think she felt threatened by us - even though there were 7 of us Christians and only one of her - I think everyone was respectful to let her share her own beliefs and doubts. I think she is probably the first Muslim I have ever met that I've had a chance to really talk to. We had all sorts of questions for her about what life in Iran is like and it was fascinating to hear her answers. I asked what she thought was the strangest thing about Americans, and she said that we eat so much fast food! But she also said that she was surprised by how family-oriented Americans are. In her country they have spread propaganda that we are anti-family.

The hike back down was harder for me than going up, as it always is - hurts my toes and my knees something fierce. But we were well rewarded back at the trail head because Treva provided lunch for all of us! Sandwiches (garnished with fresh veggies from her own garden), hummus and chips, cookies and fresh peaches. My mouth is watering just writing about it. Simple food becomes a feast after a hard workout like that!

Photo credits all go to Heather. many thanks!