Sunday, January 6, 2013
My theme for the new year
It certainly wasn't a perfect year, but it was a wonderful year. Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling" devotional reminded me continually of my theme, and seeking God helped me address several big problems in my life.
1) Depression: I had a depression-free year! (after three years in a row of seasonal depression, each year progressively worse). I don't feel this was due to anything I did - I think it was a gift from God. More of the story here.
2) Control. In 2012 I learned how freeing it is to not try to control people - namely my husband and teen stepdaughter, even a few situations with my younger daughters. I learned how to take my expectations and concerns to God in prayer, and wait and see how He would resolve the situation, instead of trying to confront and resolve the situation myself. The way God would immediately work things out was mind-blowing. I am full of awe of how God will work when we purposefully step aside to let him work!
3) Overeating and binging. I lost 10 pounds in 2012 instead of gaining weight! But even more important, I am finally learning to turn to God instead of food when I'm stressed or emotional. For me it's all about admitting my weakness, and relying on God to bring me through the temptations instead of trying to do it by my own will power. My full story here.
4) Insecurity with friends and at work. This is a big issue, maybe I'll blog about what God has been teaching me with this one.
5) Getting distracted at work by the internet. Another big issue - still struggling with this one. Surprised by how long I was in denial about this.
Now I am considering what word to choose for this year. As I've been mulling over this, the word "Prayer" keeps coming to mind. Prayer makes sense because it is a more specific means of Seeking God, and one that has always been my weakness (It's easier for me to seek Him in His Word and via devotionals such as "Jesus Calling").
God definitely confirmed this yesterday - yes, prayer is what He wants me to seek this year. I am not a morning person and I usually stay in bed as late as I can get way with. But yesterday morning I woke up early, and I felt a strong prompting to get up and pray. Then last evening something happened that I realized was part of a spiritual battle - later my husband described it as a Satanic attack. It was related to one of the things I'd prayed about earlier in the day - it was as if Satan was furious I'd prayed about that and decided to lash out at us. At first I reacted just the way Satan wanted me to - in anger and accusation - and then I realized what was happening and I got down on my knees to pray again. A bad situation eventually worked out in a peaceful resolution - and my husband and I both learned an important lesson.
So "Prayer" is my theme word this year. Honestly, it scares me. I'm not consistent at praying and then when I do pray I'm immediately caught in a spiritual battle?? But then again it's not scary when I remember that God is sovereign and in control, and He works out all things for good according to His purpose.