A study on Proverbs for girls

I've been meaning to write up some of the things I've learned from my Bible study on "His Glory" (my theme this year), but right now a study I'm doing in Proverbs with my girls is foremost in my mind.

I wanted to put together a summary with some pictures to help us remember the important points we studied in Proverbs. Here's the two page summary I came up with:

Proverbs is a book about people, the good and bad things they do, and how we can be wise about interacting with people so that our lives are not ruined, but successful.

 Proverbs 1:4,5 says this book was written to three kinds of people:

1. those who are simple, so they can know what to watch out for

2. those who are young, to gain knowledge and discretion;

3. For wise people so they can become even wiser

Proverbs 1:22  and many other verses in Proverbs describe several different types of fools. "How long will you who are simple love your simple ways?  How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?"

1) The Simple Fool doesn't know that sin has consequences.

• Will believe anything; is easily swayed. Doesn’t think ahead to what could happen.
• Doesn’t take the time to learn about what is good or bad (Proverbs 22:3)

2) The Self-Confident Fool doesn't believe that sin has consequences.

Argument, persuasion, and advice from well-meaning friends fail to convince these fools of error. But correction by authorities, which publicly shames this fool, may change his ways.

• Chooses to ignore wisdom and go their own way.
• Proverbs 26: 11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
• Proverbs 14:8 Wise men give thought to their ways, but a fool is easily deceived (falls for lies easily!)
• Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools ignore wisdom and instruction.
• Proverbs 14:3 A fool’s proud talk becomes a rod that beats him, but the words of the wise keep them safe.

3) The Committed Fool doesn't care that sin has consequences.

• Proverbs 27:22 says, "Though you crush a fool in a mortar like grain with a pestle, yet will his foolishness not depart from him."
• Psalm 14:1  The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, their deeds are vile.

4) The Scornful fool (the mocker) hates the truth and makes fun of it

• Proverbs 13: 1  A wise son heeds his father’s instruction,  but a mocker refuses to listen to correction
• Proverbs 9:7, 8   Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults… Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.
• Proverbs 21:11 When a mocker is punished, the simple gain wisdom; by paying attention to the wise they get knowledge.

Which type of fool was Samson?

5) The wise person listens to instruction, and becomes wiser, and successful

• Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
• Proverbs 14: 13   People who despise advice are asking for trouble;   those who respect a command will succeed.

 

The wise person is described in Proverbs 2:1-10

• God holds success in store for them
• God protects them & guards them
• God shows them every good path – gives them direction and fulfillment in life
• Wisdom will save them from the ways of wicked men
• They understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God
• Their lives are full of light and joy. Proverbs 13:9
• They are able to flourish even during hard times. Proverbs 10:25:  When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away,  but the godly have a lasting foundation

Wise people are known by what they say:

• Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed. Proverbs 12:18, 19
• “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” Proverbs 27:2
• James 3:5-7 A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison

Wise people aren’t proud, and they check in with God instead of going their own way

• We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. Proverbs 16:1 This one is repeated a lot!! A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. Proverbs 20:2, 16:9, 19:21, 5:21, 24:12
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5,6
• “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 26:12
• “A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor  Proverbs 29:23
• “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Prov. 11:2

Proverbs teaches you how to identify a friend that will cause you trouble:

• They will quarrel (argue) a lot. They may be nice to you, but if you see that they hate other people, they may turn on you too: “Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.” (10:12)
• A troublemaker causes division; gossip separates the best of friends. (16:28)
• If sinners entice you, turn your back on them! If a bird sees a trap being set, it knows to stay away.  But these people set an ambush for themselves (Prov 1:10,17,18)

Proverbs teaches you the keys to success and happiness

• He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house (14:27) and it robs them of life (1:19)
• Whoever is kind to the poor… will be rewarded for what they have done (19:17)
• Work hard and become a leader, be lazy and become a slave. (12:24)
• The blessing of the Lord makes a person rich,  and he adds no sorrow with it (10:22) Rich people who do not know God are never satisfied and end
• up full of regret
• Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow (13:11)

Proverbs teaches the difference between true love and tempting but false love

• True love respects both you and God. False love tempts you to do the wrong thing (sex outside of marriage) Proverb 5:15 Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife (or husband. Wait for true love!)
• False love is at first beautiful and exciting, but eventually it is disappointing. Then it leads to bitterness, and finally it leads to death. (Proverbs 5:3-5)
• 1 Cor 6:16  Do you not know that he who unites himself with another is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 
• When the relations hip ends and you separate, you lose part of yourself as you tear away from another person.
• 2 Cor 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership has light with darkness?
• Proverbs 19:4 Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife.  (Your best chance of having a loving marriage: trust God to provide your husband/wife and trust/obey Him throughout the marriage

Shepherding a Child's Heart

What I'm thankful for - a couple weeks now of peace with my teenager. We're both enjoying each other for the moment and not clashing over every little thing. I have no wisdom to share for how this pleasant stage has been reached other than I've been praying a lot! 

What I'm struggling with -occasional moments of fear/anxiety (this is unusual for me): some completely irrational, and others stemming from trying to juggle a half-time job with home school. It's possible to do this - I've been doing it for a year and half now. But I still have the same doubts I've shared here before: did I take on too much? Are both sides weaker because I can't give either my 100%? I keep thinking about sending the girls back to school for the next school year, how they'll benefit from the structured schedule and increased interaction, and I'll benefit from having more time to make money (and an opportunity to shop at other places than at Wal Mart and Goodwill, or travel more). But then God reminds me about the long term benefits of time with my children vs. time to make more money. Here are a few beloved verses I keep coming back to:

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)

He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19)

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (Matt 6:25-27)

What God is teaching me - ways to have rich communication with my girls. I'm in a mom's Bible study where we are deep into scripture and reading Shepherding a Child's Heart. This is actually my second time through this book. The first time was about 6 years ago. Now I'm in a totally different stage with my girls, so when my friend Heather suggested she needed to go through this book again (because she's in a different parenting stage too), I jumped on board. It is so worth it studying these principles over again. Our goal should not be changing our children's behavior on the surface, but reaching their hearts.

Where I am in the Word - "His Glory" is my theme this year, so I've been studying verses on God's glory. Interestingly, the first mention of God's glory isn't until Exodus 16:7. So much more to share from my study I'm going to put it in its own post.

What I'm anticipating - a new-to-me car.  My car is 9 years old now, and we've been keeping our eyes open for a replacement but everything is just so expensive. We finally found a 2012 Dodge Grand Caravan with only 34,000 miles for $10,000. It will take $2,500 to fix it (it was in a side impact collision, only the doors and door divider were damaged). Because B. can do some of the work himself, its about a 3k savings!

What I'm reading - Besides re-reading Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Ted Tripp, I've been reading "Of Other Worlds" - essays by C.S. Lewis about stories and writing and his own books. Every page holds something both wise and delightful for my writer's heart and my Christian heart.

I'm reading On the Banks of Plum Creek with the girls for school, and Mara, Daughter of the Nile (because we've been studying ancient cultures, including Egypt).  I read On the Banks more than any of the other Little House books when I was a child - I'm sure I read it at least four or five times. I remember almost all of the story, but what I'm discovering re-reading it as an adult is Laura's marvelous descriptions of nature. As I've learned from living in Wyoming, the beauty of the prairie is subtle, and the sky is itself a dramatic landscape... what's surprising is finding these powerful, stunning descriptions in this young children's book,and reminding me of C.S. Lewis who said something along the lines that the best children's books are the ones you love as much as an adult.

What I'm writing - I've heard back from two of four agents who had either all or part of my young adult manuscript. They both gave me a compliment but "passed," one saying they wanted more characterization, the other saying they didn't connect with the characters. So I've been working on developing my characters more in that story, and also in the middle-grade story I'm writing for my girls, using writing exercises. See What's Inspiring Me below...

What's inspiring me - morning writing! Yes, you heard that right, a few times I have started writing early in the morning, even though I am NOT A MORNING person. What makes this work is that I don't do any structured writing: just free writing. Whatever spills out of my head while still in a sleepy fog (while I'm still in bed, even before my first cup of tea). I read somewhere that the best free writing comes when you've just woken up, or coming right out of a dream. I've also tried this waking-up-writing with a few character prompts (e.g. what are your character's worst fears; what's one moment in his/her life they wish they could change; what's one quality about them that other people don't like; one quality that others do like) - and I was surprised and pleased with the results. Maybe it's because while I'm still in a  sleepy fog my subconscious is closer to the surface? 

1000 gifts: after five years, reached #1000!

I want to make one of these for myself

My gifts (blessings) from January. This 1000 gifts list is mostly written for myself and for my family. I don't expect anyone else to read all these details, but I decided to leave these posts "public" just in case they might inspire someone else someday to start keeping a gifts list. Keeping this list has
changed my life.

995. Starting the New Year reading a great book
At midnight, the girls were watching the ball drop on the computer, and I was nestled in my recliner reading a good book. In fact, I spent most of the first day of the year reading "Among Others" by Jo Walton, and I was perfectly content. Such a "me" book!

996. A surprising kind of sunset
A kind of sunset I've never seen before - beautiful red clouds but then right before dark they turned kind of spooky, like red eyes looking out of darkness, or like ash cast over red fire. Love how God's creation keeps surprising me.

997. Compliment from my boss 
Jeff H. said he'd like for the University of Wyoming offer a cartography class and that he would want me to teach it!

998. Priorities was never meant to be plural
Originally "priority" meant only one thing, the Priority. If you make God the one priority, everything else will fall in place.

999. Dragonfly wings
Watched a couple Nature shows on PBS, and I'd forgotten how much I love these shows (I grew up watching Nature and Wild Kingdom).  A dragonfly's flight in slow motion is a stunning thing: the four wings swirling in and out of each other.

 1000. A stone from the brook of Elah, Israel
Several of our friends from church went to Israel last month, and showed us their pictures and talking about all the Biblical events that happened at different places. Terry and Katie brought me back a stone from the Brook of Elah where David picked up the stones he threw at Goliath. At first I was a little jealous, oh Lord when will I ever have a chance to go, and walk the places that I have loved reading about so much in your Word? But then God took away the covetousness and gave me complete peace.

1. Adam and Dog video
Since I'm back at the beginning of my list for my second round of 1000 gifts, I thought I'd start with a reference from Genesis.  This 15 minute short film imagines the first dog in the story of Adam and Eve, and it does a lovely job of conveying the beauty and wonder of the Garden of Eden.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXx-OHg3mvk

2. Shepherding a Child's Heart
Great discussion at our moms' bible study about the chapter in this book, on how many methods for training children may get "surface" results but teach the wrong attitudes, like greed, fear, controlling or expectation of rewards. The heart is what matters to God, not external behavior. For instance, grounding could inadvertently train them to hate being home, that home is a punishment and leaving home is freedom. Not that you should never ground your kids when they've abused their freedom, but that your main point should be to address what desire of the heart motivated the wrong doing. Verses on the heart: Psalm 51:6  Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach wisdom in the inmost place.  Proverbs 4:23, I Samuel 16:7, 2 Chronicles 16:9, Deuteronomy 10:12-13, Ezekiel 14:1-8 (they have set idols in their hearts) and Joel 2:12-13

3. Transparency in prayer requests
Often times our bible study or prayer group requests are for other people. Which is fine: but I'm always deeply touched by believers who humbly ask for prayer for themselves, when they're struggling with anger or fear or anxiety, etc. In Beth Moore's To Live Is Christ she shared how she struggled with anger that kept coming back. She shared her struggled with another believer and her anger eased. I want to have the courage to share my struggle with insecurity and ask for help in this spiritual warfare - Satan knows my weak point is insecurity, but it's so hard to admit it to others. I can't even go into detail about it here on the blog, where I feel free to share just about anything.

4. Reading Unbroken to my dad.
Dad loves WWII war stories, and I love the author Laura Hillenbrand (who also wrote Seabiscuit). I have enjoyed reading books to my daughters so much, and the discussions we get into, so I thought it might be something my dad and I could enjoy together too, since with his Parkinson's disease all he can anymore is just sit and watch TV. I think he did enjoy my reading him the first chapter, and even talked a little afterward, but he didn't want to me read more the next time I offered. Mom thinks it might be hard on his pride, which I can understand. I'm just trying to think of anything else beside sitting and watching TV with him. This is so heartbreaking. And yet, I chose to be thankful, and list this as a gift. Because I'm so very thankful for my dad. Recently, this verse gave me hope to keep praying for his salvation: 2 Samuel 14:14 Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from Him.

5. Proverbs 18:1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire
This verse is actually a puzzle to me; even reading it in various translations and using the Blue Letter Bible to look up the original Hebrew has not helped me satisfactorily understand this verse. It can be interpreted in both positive and negative ways. But I think it's important for me to keep pondering it until God gives me insight; I suspect it might be related to an old struggle of mine, escapism.

6. Our radiant skin
Pastor shared this interesting fact in his preaching: that scientists have discovered our skin actually radiates a small amount of light. Moses, of course, had to wear a veil to cover the radiance of God he was reflecting when he returned from Mt. Sinai, for it was too much for the people to bear. Imagine what we will be like in heaven, reflecting God's glory! Imagine seeing the Glory of God himself! (His Glory is my theme word this year)

7. Serious makes a blanket adventure
One blanket is a waterfall (down the stairs), another is the bumpy river, the smooth river, the underground river (under a blanket draped over chairs), and a pink blanket is the fire river, where hot lava flows into the river and makes it explode.

8. Skiing with Blaze
One of my favorite memories from my junior high years is when my mom got me ski lessons and we went downhill skiing together (and since then of course we have dozens of wonderful skiing memories!) So I was overjoyed when a big discount came our way so that I could get Blaze skiing lessons, and by the  end of her very first day she was skiing with me down the big slopes, snowplowing and grinning like crazy. I figured out the last time I'd been skiing was 11 or 12 years ago at Winter Park with B. and Stars - I was worried I wouldn't be any good at in anymore, but I guess it's like riding a bicycle; the movement came right back to me (muscle memory is amazing!) And being in the snowy mountains and majestic pines, seeing light slant through the trees while swishing down the slopes... I wish I could bottle the feeling and the beauty, so I could drink it down daily. 

9. Continued sharing my favorite verses with the girls at home school Bible study (Judges through 1 Kings)

Judges 13:17 Then Manoah inquired of the angel of the Lord, "What is your name, so that we may honor you when your word comes true?" He replied. "Why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding." ...and the Lord did an amazing thing while Manoah and his wife watched: as the flame blazed up from the altar toward heaven, the angel of the Lord ascended in the flame.

1 Samuel 16:7 For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart

2 Samuel 22: 7-11
In my distress I called upon the Lord, yes, I cried to my God; And from His temple He heard my voice, and my cry for help came into His ears. Then the earth shook and quaked, The foundations of heaven were trembling and were shaken, because He was angry. Smoke went up out of His nostrils, fire from His mouth devoured; coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down with thick darkness under His feet. He rode on a cherub and flew; and He appeared on the wings of the wind. (This is from David's song when he was delivered from Saul. I love how the Lord is described almost like a dragon! And how he rides a cherub!)

1 Kings 8:58-61  (I love discovering divine paradoxes in the Scripture)
May He turn our hearts to him, to walk in obedience to him and keep the commands, decrees and laws he gave our ancestors. And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the Lord, be near to the Lord our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of his servant and the cause of his people Israel according to each day’s need, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the Lord is God and that there is no other. And may your hearts be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands.
(I love how Solomon asks God to turn our hearts, to make our hearts fully committed. God does the work first; then we are able to work for Him)

10. Come As You Are, by David Crowder

Come out of sadness from wherever you've been
Come broken hearted let rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh sinner, come kneel

Earth has no sorrow
That Heaven can't heal

So, lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer, come home
You're not too far
So, lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

There's hope for the hopeless
And all those who've strayed
Come sit at the table
Come taste the grace
There's rest for the weary
Rest that endures

Earth has no sorrow
That Heaven can't cure

Come as you are
Fall in His arms
Come as you are

There's joy for the morning
Oh sinner, be still

Earth has no sorrow
That Heaven can't heal

My theme for 2015: His Glory

His infinite glory, dwelling within me

In 2012  my theme for the year was Seeking God; in 2013 my theme was Prayer and in 2014 my theme was Surrender.

This year my theme is for His Glory, but first, a recap of what the theme of Surrender looked like in 2014. 

In addition to surrender, two other words come to mind when I think of the highlights (and low points) of 2014:  loss, and laughter.

We lost B's beloved mom and the girls' beloved grandma this year. Another less permanent loss was my stepdaughter's move to Seattle: a loss of closeness with her. But despite moments of tears and loneliness and loss, this year has also been one of so many laughter-filled moments, especially with my girls and B. It's not that they've all at once become funnier this year: I think it's just that I appreciate them more, how they make me laugh. All the funny things they say or do or funny things we discover together.  One of the very best things in life: when your kids do something that make you look across the room at your husband, smiling, and he looks back at you smiling, and without speaking a word we share that deep pride in our kids and family and our deep love for each other.

So, a year of loss, and a year of laughter... and surrender. Surrendering control is a constant struggle. This year has been our tightest financial year yet (and we've had some tough years in the past). I wanted to control every penny my husband earned, in addition to my own, but I had to keep surrendering that urge to control and nag my husband and instead, trust God.

A few years ago I remember having to accept the change in my father as Parkinson's overtook him. Another form of surrender. In 2014, I've had to accept changes with my mother. She used to be my travel buddy - we loved to travel together! We had wonderful trips together in recent years (some with kids, some just us) to Virginia, South Carolina, and lots of places on the Front Range and mountains of Colorado. But in 2014 she wouldn't travel at all with me; she still wanted to, but it was too hard for her to leave my dad's side for more than an hour or two at at time. I admire her devotion and care for him, but I was heartbroken to lose my travel buddy. But looking at the bright side of things: we can still do lots of stuff right here in Laramie. We went to the Nutcracker and a couple Christmas events in December and I'm so thankful her health is good and we can get together whenever we want to chat over lunch or a cuppa tea.

Another family-related surrender this year: changes in B.'s family. Losing his mom, my girls' grandma... the changes catch you in unexpected ways... like this was the first summer we didn't go boating on the Missouri with family. Because the boat had to be sold when she died to pay some debts incurred during her fight with cancer. Also, this was the first Thanksgiving and Christmas not going back to South Dakota (Grandpa didn't want anyone to come this year, it was too hard on him). I hate how one loss multiplies out to other losses. But if there's one constant in life it's this: change. Things always change, and you can't stop it. Surrender. Accept. Be thankful for all the good things you still have, and trust in more good things to come.

With my kids... I've had to continually surrender my daughters to God with the things I cannot control: like Blaze's dislike of church and disinterest in God, and Dreamer's fears. I cannot take away her fears; only God can do that. I cannot make Blaze love God: but I know He can open her eyes and soften her heart and fill her with awe... in His timing. In the meantime, I'm so thankful for another year of so many opportunities during home school to share with them how God is working in my life, and share the verses He gives me that brighten/strengthen my day and sometimes catch my breath with deep joy.

Surrender is a common word in Twelve Step meetings and the books and materials for Overeaters Anonymous. You can either surrender to your desire to eat, or you can surrender to God and humbly ask Him to remove your short comings/stumbling blocks. My favorite saying from OA: The more total your surrender to God, the more freedom from food and other idols. I barely missed any of my OA weekly meetings in 2014, and was able to keep the 20 pounds off that I lost in 2013, and lose four more pounds. But more than losing weight, I'm thankful to be free from the old obsession with food.

I still struggle deeply with insecurity, especially at church, and especially as church continues to grow and I feel lost in the crowd (particularly on busy Sunday mornings when there are so many people!) The first five/six years after I got saved, my church was such a close knit family. Now its so big and busy it doesn't feel like a family at all, and I struggle with that loss. But I know this church is where God wants us to be, which means surrendering to the change, and being thankful for all the good things that come with a big a church instead of dwelling on the sense of closeness lost.

One thing I haven't had to struggle with for 3 years now: depression! Another depression-free year. Oh my great Lord, my Abba father, thank you so much!

So now I come to my theme for 2015.  I chose to focus on His Glory this coming year for these reasons:

1) because the more my eyes are on Him, dwelling on His glory, the less my eyes are on myself... and the paradox is that I'm happier and more content and more fulfilled when I'm concerned with others, with God in particular, instead of myself.... which reminds me, I want to devote an entire post on the article "Who Are We? Needs, Longings, and the Image of God in Man" by Edward Welch which addresses the error of focusing on our needs and longings, even if we focus on how God fulfills them. We are not primarily beings seeking for fulfillment as we are beings created to radiate his Glory.

2) because the heavens and earth are full of His glory, and I want to see it all and give praise

3) Whatever we do or seek to accomplish, if we do it all for His glory, then none of it is wasted or done in vain

4) Because there are dozens of verses that tell us to give glory to God

Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name give glory, for Your mercy and loving-kindness and for the sake of Your truth and faithfulness! Psalm 115: 1

5) Because God's glory makes me think of shining light; and I love all the different ways He made light shine in our world. How he made the sun the source of the energy that drives all life (like himself) and at the same time the sun can be seen by everyone, but is itself too bright to look upon, like himself! How beautiful and precious light is, all the way from a child's nightlight and little Christmas lights to His mighty stars; from glowing candles and firelight to the majestic northern lights. His Word is a light, and a lamp to our feet. His Glory even shines inside our hearts:

2 Corinthians 4:6  For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

6) When we bring Him glory, we radiate His glory out to the world. Isaiah 60: 1-3

Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
    and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

1000 gifts: skating, ballet, and other Christmas fun

My gifts (blessings) from December... this 1000 gifts list is mostly written for myself and for my family. I don't expect anyone else to read all these details, but I decided to leave these posts "public" just in case they might inspire someone else someday to start keeping a gifts list. Keeping this list has changed my life.

969. Eight years of twin bundles of joy

970. Getting two job offers within hours after being laid off
This all happened on B's birthday! We went from despair to praising God within a span of a few hours.

971. a call to make Christmas "reservations" 
For reasons that I wrote in a post earlier this month, the holidays were hard for us this year... I've really struggled with feelings of isolation. After a particularly blue, grumpy, frustrated day (and night), I got a phone call from my friend in Colorado Springs, K.A., asking if she could make "reservations" for her family to stay at our house the day after Christmas and visit. Her call was like an answer to prayer (except I'd been too grumpy to pray, so it was purely a gift of grace).

972. Coming home to a decorated house
While I was at work one afternoon, the girls got out all our Christmas decorations and set up our nutcracker collection, Christmas village, and nativity scene. They even hung the Advent calendar. It was so delightful to come home to a decorated house and not have to do any of the unpacking and arranging. After we got our live Christmas tree, they hung all the ornaments too. Normally I love doing all the decoration, but it was so nice to have the kids do it this year for me for a change, and they loved it too.

973. A written testimony at a memorial
Went to a friend's mother's memorial which was heartbreaking - she died in her 50's from cancer - but also joyful in the respect that she had written her testimony of coming to know Jesus and her walk with God and the pastor read her testimony out loud. It was far more powerful hearing her own words than any eulogy I've ever heard.

974. Interstellar
Blaze came with me to see the science fiction movie Interstellar, which was breath taking, mind-bending, and thoughtful. I loved the space travel, the worm hole, the black hole, and the fascinating plays of relativity and gravity and quantum entanglements. My scientific side loved seeing how gravity is the only force  that transcends time and how gravity was used for communication across time. My romantic side appreciated the parallel of "love is the one thing that transcends time and space." This NY Times article about the movie opened even more paths of thought, too, about how science influences our worldviews; I might have to read poet Christian Wiman's "My Bright Abyss" some day.

975. Blaze and Dreamer got to "steal" gifts at their first White Elephant Christmas party
with bonus fun, because it was our equestrian club party, all the gifts were horse-related. Dreamer got a cute purse with an embroidered horse and a shirt with a horse on it too.

976. The twins' first Nutcracker ballet
The University of Wyoming does a Nutcracker ballet once every four years, and it's affordable so we can take the whole family. And they do such an amazing job for a local production! The party and mouse king scenes were so funny (they always add some Western touches... mice with cowboy hats and six shooters) and the 2nd half was so magical. It was Serious and Starlet's first ballet and though they got a little restless at the end, I could tell that it captured their imagination because they've been doing a lot of twirling and dancing at home since then!

977. Dreamy dancing
The Arabian dance took my breath away because the three performers danced with a giant, billowing silken scarf (like this image, except the scarf was hanging from the ceiling).

They'd wrap themselves in it and then spin out of it, or pull it this way and that, and it would billow out and float above them, and catch the light just so! The Pas De Deux is always so romantic and the minor shift in the Waltz of the Flowers makes me catch my breath, too. They had little kids from the local gymnastic program in Russian fur hats doing cartwheels and handsprings in the Russian dance, how in the world did they keep those big furry hats on?

978. learning how to draw app
Dreamer downloaded this neat app that taught her some wonderful sketching techniques: how to draw expressions on a face; how to shade a body. Her drawing improved remarkably, I was really impressed

979. Dinosaur app and dino story
Meanwhile, Blaze's discovery in the app department is a dinosaur park game that actually teaches quite a lot about dinosaurs... she has learned so many different dinosaurs and facts about them that she sounds like a budding paleontologist. Blaze also wrote me (and illustrated) a 10 chapter story about a girl who could turn into different dinosaurs - with some creative ideas and genuine laugh out loud moments

980. Dreamer's imaginary world
One night while Dream was brushing my hair (how heavenly it is to have your hair brushed! I like it more than a massage!) she told me all about her imaginary world, Horcan, which runs on happiness, and has only one entrance: belief. It's a forest where the trees are hung with ornaments and lockets and keys, and all the animals have houses. Fairies can weave clothes out of water.

981. Dreamer, Serious and Starlet in the church Christmas program
Since this is Dreamer's last year to participate, she finally got a speaking part, and the twins were adorable singing and pretending to be sheep 

982. Starlet: "you wanna knuckle sandwich?"
My littlest girl says this with a grin when she puts up her fists and faces off with her sisters. Another thing she also threatened Blaze with (oh so cutely): "let me squeeze you until all your laziness comes out!"

983. Ice skating with the girls
This was Serious and Starlet's first time skating: they fell about every 5 seconds but loved every moment of it.

984. Friends delivering cookies
We had two different friend's families make us Christmas cookies this year - some of them very fancy and gourmet

985. The delicious danger of jalapenos
B.'s new job had Christmas lunch for the crew - Mexican enchiladas. The Mexican workers teased him about not putting any jalapenos on his enchiladas "it'll put hair on your chest". B.'s response: "it's the hair on my hiney I'm worried about!" 

986. Candlelight Christmas Eve service
We sang two of my favorite: Oh Holy Night and Come Now Our King

987. the old carol, In the Bleak Midwinter
In my earlier December post, I shared how this old hymn had new meaning to me this year

988. Thorin's quote at the end of The Hobbit 
Took Dreamer and Blaze to see the last movie of the Hobbit. While I didn't like all the additions to the story, I did like that they kept some wonderful dialogue from the book, like Thorin's last words: "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" - and I loved the song during the credits, "The Last Goodbye" by Billy Boyd

989. Biker nutcracker 
The perfect addition to my nutcracker collection from K.A. and her husband, who are bikers and members of biker church

990. Zip line in the snow
Day-after-Christmas fun with the kids up at the Snowy Range Lodge with Heather's family

991. Article on Our longings & God's glory
Heather has been taking a Christian counseling class and shared this article with me, "Who Are We? Needs, Longings, and the Image of God in Man" by Edward Welch. I'm going to write more about this,  because I think "glory" will be my theme word for 2015, but here is a one sentence summary: it is not so much that God fulfills our longings but that we radiate his Glory. The focus is Him, not us.

992. Theological debate with friends
K.A.'s family stayed with us the evening after Christmas and I got some lively (but kind) theological debate with them: they have anti-Calvinist views on the doctrine of election. I'm not an extreme Calvinist; I found my beliefs best expressed in this article Another view on the Biblical doctrine of election. Charles Spurgeon said it best when he called it “Perseverance of the Savior”, rather than Calvin's perseverance of the saints.

993. Galations 6:9 Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a reward if we do not give up. 

I admit there's some relationships that I felt like giving up on recently... this verse during our ladies' study of Galatians reminded me to never give up

994.  I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Casting Crowns version 

I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play

And mild and sweet their songs repeat

Of peace on earth good will to men

And the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth)

Like a choir they're singing (Peace on Earth)

In my heart I hear them

Peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head

There is no peace on earth I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men

But the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth)

Like a choir singing (Peace on Earth)

Does anybody hear them?

Peace on earth, good will to men

Then rang the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead, nor doth He sleep (Peace on Earth, peace on Earth)

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men

Then ringing singing on its way

The world revolved from night to day

A voice, a chime, a chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good will to men

And the bells they're ringing (Peace on Earth)

Like a choir they're singing (Peace on Earth)

And with our hearts we'll hear them

Peace on earth, good will to men

Do you hear the bells they're ringing? (Peace on Earth)

The life the angels singing (Peace on Earth)

Open up your heart and hear them (Peace on Earth)

Peace on earth, good will to men

Peace on earth, Peace on earth

Peace on earth, Good will to men

Two different kinds of Christmases

It's Christmas Eve and I am enjoying this moment to relax and revel in my favorite evening of the whole year, nestled up with my blanket near the fire and the Christmas tree. Earlier we went to the candle light Christmas Eve service and sang favorite carols (including my favorite, O Holy Night) and hugged friends, then came home to sing a few more carols together as a family after dinner and read some Christmas books (the Little Drummer Boy, If You Take A Mouse to the Movies, and the Nutcracker are favorites). We did the last day of the Advent calendar, and the girls helped wrapped a few presents and helped me make Spanish bar cake (for Dad) and peach pie (for B.).

Now the girls are tucked in bed and I wanted write about what's been in my mind on and off the past few days, and really came into focus with the message tonight at church. How there are two very different kinds of Christmas, and I love them both. Technically I suppose there three types of Christmas: the first one I don't like is commercial Christmas. We try to fight this by giving gifts to Angel Tree and Christmas Child ministries and emphasizing to the kids how helping others and making homemade gifts from our heart are the best gifts, not the latest toys and gadgets.

The second Christmas is the magical one: the Christmas classic movies like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman and It's a Wonderful Life and the most magical story of all (in my opinion!) the Nutcracker.  Giant growing Christmas trees and toy soldiers battling mice! A broken nutcracker turned into a Prince and candy and toys coming to life! It's like becoming small enough to climb right into a Christmas tree and be completely surrounded by the magic. I get this same delicious feeling in decorating my own house, and visiting other decorated houses full of twinkling lights and garlands and Christmas cards, and lush Christmas parties with all the fixings.

This magic can be a little fickle, though. Some years (like this year in particular for me), it feels lovely one moment, and empty the next. Can one burn out on all the trimmings? One can certainly feel disillusioned by it.  A death in the family can set all the beloved traditions awry.

B.'s mom died in March and this is our first Christmas without her, and also, because of B.'s new job and limited time off, the first year we haven't been able to visit our out-of-town family for either Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year's. One of his sisters and her family was going to visit us for Christmas but they had to cancel. So I've been feeling isolated and blue. Blaze and Dreamer actually did all the Christmas decorating because I couldn't summon any motivation for it. I did get a tree and set it in a stand, but the girls put the lights on it and decorated it. Dreamer asked me when we start doing the Advent calendar together (we have an elaborate home made version) and I kept saying "okay, we'll start tomorrow night" - when I finally joined them one night I was humbled to see that the girls had been hanging all the little figures and their accompanying verses without me for the first 12 days.

The Christmas that always feels real and true, and deeply beautiful (not just sparkly beautiful), is the stark Christmas, the First Christmas where travelers were not welcomed when they arrived (the message at church tonight was about this, how Joseph and Mary were likely rejected because of the scandal about her pregnancy before marriage). Their baby was born in a stable. There were no family or friends, there were no decorations, there was no feast, there was no celebration, at least not on earth.

The angels were the only ones to rejoice and sing, and the star shining in the sky was the only decoration. The shepherds were more terrified and awed than they were full of celebration.

I feel closest to this true Christmas when I have struggled with bleakness. The house is far more bright and warm and cozy when outside the winter is cold and snowy, and Christmas is purer when the need for a Savior's birth is deeper.

Having struggled (not this whole Christmas season, but parts of it) with feeling disheartened and bleak, this old carol I've never really paid attention to before suddenly came to mind. When I looked up the lyrics I discovered it was a poem written by Christina Rossetti. The first stanza is the one I vaguely remembered, but I was startled to discover the rest of the lyrics, how glorious they are.

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty,
Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breastful of milk,
And a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air -
But only His mother
In her maiden bliss
Worshiped the Beloved
With a kiss.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man
I would do my part;
Yet what I can, I give Him -
Give my heart.

1000 gifts: 30 days of thanksgiving

I don't usually share much on Facebook, but I've seen others do the 30 days of thanksgiving in November, and I did it this year too (except the version here on the blog is numbered for my 1000 gifts list). This list is mostly written for myself and for my family. I don't expect anyone else to read all these details, but I decided to leave these posts "public" just in case they might inspire someone else someday to start keeping a gifts list. Keeping this list has changed my life.

938. Dark mornings, but getting to see beautiful sunrises
Getting up while it's still dark, before the time change, is really hard, but I'm thankful for getting to see the beautiful sunrises (that I don't normally get up early enough to see)

939. My sisters-in-laws, who are making quilts for all my girls. 
Thank you Melissa, Monica, Crystal and Josey. This one Melissa is doing the embroidery on for the twins.

940. Snuggles in the morning
Starlet is almost 8, but she still loves to snuggle with me in the mornings before school. Serious got up early this morning to snuggle with me too.  I don't want them to outgrow the snuggly stage!

941.  the teachers at the twins' school that give them so much help and encouragement
The twins get one-on-one help for 2 hours a day to help them catch up with their reading! Our public education system is amazing in Wyoming.

942. "Pitchwars" -a writer mentorship opportunity
This program pairs two writers up with one published or soon-to-be published author so they can benefit from his/her experience. Veronica B. was my mentor and Natalie W. was the other writer I exchanged manuscripts with. Results in 5 requests from agents!

943. thankful for our veterans and our freedom

944. thankful for our cozy wood stove with near 0 temperatures outside

945. all four of my girls taking a break from Minecraft and busy writing stories

946. Getting bumped on a flight - but reimbursed with $500 voucher
This meant B. and I were able to get tickets to Seattle to visit Stars!

947. the deja vu feeling of Stars picking us up at the airport 
after all the times we've picked her up at the airport while she was growing up

948. A library that looks like a cathedral (Suzzallo library at University of Washington)

The students call this the Harry Potter library. Stars also gave us a tour of the beautiful campus. She's starting at a community college (to save money) but hopes to transfer here. Smart plan!
  

949. sunset from the tallest building in Seattle, the Columbia Center From up there, the Space Needle looked like a miniature toy! (you can just see it in the background of this picture)  It had a breathtaking panorama of the city, Mt Rainier, Puget Sound, all the beautiful lakes and Cascades in the distance. We stayed up there for over an hour, from twilight to full night because Stars said it was worth it to stay to see all the city lights, not to mention the sunset.  

950. Monorail
Another I loved was the monorail train in downtown Seattle with the glass roof. Makes me want to travel by train more.  

951. Huckleberries
Stars is trying to save money and using public transit instead of driving (parking is so expensive in Seattle, too) so we drove her car back to Laramie to sell it for her. It was a two day, 20 hour drive but through some of the most beautiful mountain country of Washington, Montana, Idaho and Wyoming. And every time we stopped I couldn't help put splurging on huckleberry treats - huckleberries don't grow in southern Wyoming where I live, and they are one of my favorite treats. Even had huckleberry ice cream! 

952. Meeting friends in Idaho Falls
Amy & DJ's family moved away last year, and it was so much fun to have lunch with them when we drove through Idaho Falls. Miss them and their kids so much.

953. Swan Valley
I've never driven through Swan Valley before, but didn't figure I'd be lucky enough to see swans - but we did! Swans swimming in the Snake River! That drive through Swan Valley, along Palisades Reservoir, Snake River Canyon, and along the Hoback River is stunning! At one point we had to stop because there was a band of big horn sheep in the middle of the road, licking road salt.

954. My parents 50th anniversary!!! (November 21)
So incredibly thankful for them, words cannot express it. I wanted it to be special but Mom didn't want to do anything big, because Dad can't handle much company (due to his Parkinson's disease). We just had a few friends over for hors d'ouerves and champagne. My mom has a gift as a hostess that I deeply admire. My dad was much better than I thought he would be, too. He couldn't hold a conversation for very long but he was able to make a few snappy comments like his old self, such as "Not bad for a guy who can barely count to 50." 

 I wrote to all their friends and family and asked that they send cards and notes and photos and many did which really made my parents happy, especially some they hadn't heard from in a while. 

My parents' favorite car, Ford Galaxy, 1964

Anniversary dinner, 2009 at our house

955. kisses on both cheeks so you don't go lopsided
I love how my mom makes the twins kiss her good bye on both cheeks because if you only kiss her on one side, she'll go lopsided the rest of the day

958. Amazing grace! Jesus became real to me 21 years ago almost to the day.

959. Giant floor map to explore
The Geography Department arranged for this giant National Geographic Map to "visit" the University of Wyoming for a couple days. My girls got to walk all over North America (here they are visiting Baja!)

960. Little helpers in the kitchen
My helpers making apple crisp for Thanksgiving. And making silly jokes: Why did the baby ghost cry? He had a boo boo.

961. Skype to see long distance friends and family

962. Another local writer helping me stay going on NaNoWriMo
I had a really hard time getting going with my unicorn story during National Novel Writing Month...there were some nights I just couldn't find any inspiration; or whatever I wrote I ended up deleting because it was so far from the vision I wanted in my mind. But Emily kept asking me how I was doing, and we met several times to write together, and that helped me persevere.

963. Made up words, multiple personalities, and making wands
When you ask Blaze a question sometimes she answers with made up words like "Inkabob!" or "Dooba dooba?" or a couple other oddities... it's starting to grow on me. Dreamer said one day "I have so many personalities!!! I need to write them down to keep them all straight." One of her personalities is a geographer. Another is a geologist. Another is a fashion designer. Another is a singer/songwriter. She designs a new outfit for her doll every day. She also loves making wands. She finds a stick and uses her pocket knife to shape it, then paints it and decorates it with various ribbons, bangles, sparkles,  etc.

964. "The Lord stood near him"  (Acts 23:11) How have I never noticed that before?

965. Psalm 62:5  Find rest, oh my soul, in God alone. My hope comes from Him.
From Beth Moore: "The Hebrew word for hope is tiqvah which literally means "a cord, as an attachment" . The psalmist contrasted the disappointment he often experienced in man with the security he found in his faithful God. His cord or rope was attached to God alone. We're all holding onto a rope of some kind for security; but it anyone besides God is on the other end, we're hanging on by a thread!"

966. A neat study on similarities/differences between Paul and Jonah
(also from Beth Moore's study). They were both messengers of God, both were caught in a storm. One was willing to follow God's calling, even in chains. He was shipwrecked, but gave praise to God, and his life was filled with joy. The other wasn't willing to follow God's calling. He saved the ship by his own sacrifice, was saved in amazing circumstances, but still delivered his message with bitterness.

967. An intense moment picturing Jesus across from me
Had an intense moment where I pictured Jesus sitting by me in my meetings at work, and in my day to day activities with my coworkers, parents, and acquaintances... listening to my conversations. How would a friend feel if I never mentioned him, all day long, except at home or among Christian friends - but never acknowledged him to all the others I interact with? 

968. After 30 days of thanksgiving, having a completely full heart