1000 gifts: sailing and other summer fun

Continuing my list of gifts, blessings that I write down to remember all the wonderful things that God gives me along life's journey (from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience).

327.  Not being afraid to switch schools
Much to our surprise, a few weeks after visiting us for the summer, my 16 year old stepdaughter decided to come back and live with us - for her junior year of high school! Switching schools your junior year? I didn't think Stars would actually do it, but school has been in session for a week now and she seems perfectly happy. And we are thrilled. We never thought we'd get to spend this much time with her again!


328. Turning 10 years old
My oldest daughter Blaze turned double-digits on August 5. She had some friends over for a party and horseback-riding and her idea for game, Pin the Horn on the Unicorn. I tried not to make comments like "you aren't allowed to get any older"

Blaze with her friends Tabs, Claire, Kate, and Melia (another good friend, Nicole, couldn't make it)

329. Camping with friends
 Our church organized a camping weekend up in the mountains and we brought four of our horses, a large tent and fortunately lots of blankets - but we still had to "dogpile" to sleep because at 8500 ft, even summer nights can get pretty cold! We had a wonderful time with friends around the campfire and then the next day giving pony rides to the kids, trail riding with older kids and adults, playing in streams, racing around on a four wheeler another family brought, and a SUPER bonus - (see the next item on my list!)

The forest were still beautiful, even though many trees have died from pine bark beetles

330. Sailing with friends
One family from church brought along a sailboat - and I got a chance to sail! I don't think I've been sailing since my college years, and it was a thrill that it all came back to me - like riding a bike, I guess. Blaze and Dreamer got to go out in the sailboat too. This on Rob Roy Reservoir, in Wyoming's Snowy Range. 

331. Church menus
My good friend Heather and I shared a giggle when one of her sons (she has four boys, the youngest are twins and I have four girls, the youngest are twins) came up to us at church and asked where the church menu was. Church menu? We finally got it figured out that he meant the church bulletin.


332. The real reason for earthquakes
Don't often hear of earthquakes on the east coast, but this August there was a significant one centered in Virginia, not far from D.C. A couple days later this showed up on Facebook: "Word has it that it was not an earthquake that we experienced near our nation's Capitol-- It was the Founding Fathers all collectively rolling over in their graves at the same time." (in reference to the political gridlock and rumors of the government having to "shut down")

333. Secretariat
All four of my girls absolutely love the movie Secretariat, about the famous racehorse (we love Seabiscuit and the Horse Whisperer too). Dreamer and the twins started playing "Secretariat" in the backyard - they race in big circle around our bushes and trees and take turns being Secretariat and the great horse's competitor, Sham. 


334. Creative reading props
Blaze and Dreamer were both in a summer reading program, and their teacher came up with some creative ideas to get them excited about reading. One of my favorites was when she gave them "witch fingers" - green plastic warty things they stuck on the end of their pointer finger to make it fun to point at words while reading.

335. Homemade manicure stations
One night Stars set up her own manicure station (my piano bench) and gave me and all four of the girls manicures - including buffing our nails, letting choose our own nail color, and massaging our hands with lotion.
 
336. Our whole family on horses
Well, technically not the whole family (not B. and I) - but we did get all five of our the girls on horses at the same time. Stars is on Folly, Blaze on Spring, Dreamer on Ally, Serious on Rebel and Starlet on Jewel. 

Stars teaching Blaze some new tricks - sitting backwards on your horse

Starlet on Rebel - both her and Serious are figuring out how to use the reins

337. Plunder
As I am nearing the end of Beth Moore's Breaking Free study, I was amused (but also impressed) by how she applied this lesson from the Exodus. When Pharaoh finally let the Israelites go, the Egyptians were so eager to see them go that they gave the Israelites silver and gold. 

Beth writes "Do you realize you don't have to escape from captivity [in slavery to strongholds] with nothing to show for it? After all the enemy has put you through, take your plunder. Let God bring you forth from your time of slavery with gold, silver and jewels... don't just reclaim surrendered ground. God wants to enlarge your borders and teach you to possess land you never knew existed."

I'm not completely free of my captivity yet.  I'm finally over the depression that lingered even into July, but don't feel like it's gone, only hovering just out of sight, getting ready to pounce on me again. But this study has helped me identify the lies that I fall for, and the truth that sets me free from the trap - how to grab that truth and hang on. It's the hanging on part I'm still struggling with. I let go too easily (which is why I feel like with the slightest stumble I'll fall right back into depression). 

I don't yet have a vision of the plunder that will be mine to claim - but I'm still thrilled with the promise that there are riches in store for me. Not literal riches, of course (I've never wanted to be materially rich). But probably some sort of riches that can't even fully envision right now.

1000 gifts: gymkhanas and genies and more

Continuing my list of gifts, blessings that I write down to remember all the wonderful things that God gives me along life's journey (from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience).

The highlight of our summer is when my stepdaughter Stars (now 16 years old) comes to visit. Here she is hugging her friend Ch.

313. Fireflies and fireworks
Fireflies giving us a 4th of July fireworks preview at B.'s parents' home in Springfield, South Dakota. Then Rodney and Tyler bought huge packs of fireworks and TJ and the other cousins set them off in the backyard.

314. Mulberry-picking
My sister-in-law Josey took the girls mulberry-picking. They all came back with purple-stained hands and feet -what a sight!

315. The Missouri River in flood
Visited Gavin's Point dam, on the Missouri, to see the huge amount of water being released - reminded me of being up close to Niagara Falls, with all the thundering noise and mist. Everywhere along the Missouri there was flooding, some parks completely under water.

316. Submerged forests
B. and I went canoeing. Along the edge the the flooded lake, we paddled through a partially submerged forest - beautiful and a little eerie.

317. Muddy trucks
Stars has her driver's permit so she's doing lots of driving. Her friend Ch. has her own truck and they went out "mudding" on the dirt roads, then come back and washed off the truck and filled our driveway full of mud, too.

318. Dog-lovers in drive-thrus
Stars says "only in Wyoming" when you go through a fast food drivethru for a hamburger, do they offer your dog a piece of bacon, too.

319. Hearing someone else play my piano
Chesca always plays our piano when she visits - she writes, plays and sings her own songs. I love to hear the beautiful music on my seldom-used piano.

320. Rediscovering old favorite songs
Discovered that Stars loves Toto's song "Rain in Africa" - which was my favorite song back when I was13.

321. Gymkhanas, or games on horseback
All four of our girls, from ages 10 down to 4, got to participate at this summer's gymkhana at our county fair. Wikipedia describes a gymkhana as an event (often for children) "that includes timed speed events such as barrel racing, keyhole race, egg and spoon race, flag race, and pole bending. All of these events are designed to display precise, controlled actions and tight teamwork between horse and rider at speed, although most clubs offer a variety of classes, allowing riders to compete at the speed level they are most capable of, and comfortable with." Which in our case also meant that the two older girls could lead the twins on their horses for their events. Here's a picture of the girls with all the ribbons they collected!

322. Wishes from genies
Blaze says "If had a genie, my first wish would be to be beautiful, and my second would be that whoever I touched would become beautiful and cured of any sickness. Then I'd pass the lamp on to a friend and she would use her third wish to set the genie free (because I'm too selfish to do it)" !!!!

323. Thrummingbirds
This has been a summer full of hummingbirds! I kept hearing them all the time, but seldom saw them, so we bought a feeder and set it out - even then you barely catch a glimpse of them, they come and go so quickly. I think they should be called thrummingbirds instead; their wings make a metalllic thrumming sound.

324. Horseback archery
Read about the Atilla the Hun (research for my book) and how horseback archery was a long-lost art that is now being rediscovered. I love discovering neat things during my research - this was something bpth B. and I could relate to since we love horses. Horseback archery requires the same "muscle memory" also required for riding a bike, roping cows from horseback, pole-vaulting and many other activities.

325. Blankets and stars in the backyard
B. and I lay on a blanket in the backyard at night to look at the stars

326. Audrey Hepburn quotes

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

"When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that's when I think life is over."

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."

The beauty of Perelandra

This post is part of the C.S. Lewis book club hosted at the Quiet Quill. I've also written up my thoughts on:
Out of the Silent Planet
A Grief Observed
Surprised by Joy

I've been trying to figure out how C.S. Lewis manages to immerse you so fully in a new world, as he does when you visit the planet Perelandra. 

I think I understand at least part of his excellent technique: it's not so much the details, but it's how he reveals them as a series of first impressions/discoveries which gradually get pieced together and then change as as the "big picture" is slowly, exquisitely revealed.

Ransom is the main character this book and the previous book, Out of the Silent Planet: a bemused British philologist (studier of languages). When he arrives on the Perelandra, a planet primarily of water, it is fascinating to see him cope with the aquatic world. I would love to tell about the ________ islands, but they are one of the neatest features of the world-building, so I use a blank as a form of enticement!

The theme of the book first appears to be a retelling of the story of Adam and Eve, and the serpent's temptation - the differences being that it's a watery version of Eden, and that Ransom is present to warn Eve about the serpent's wiles. But the ending will reveal that the it's more than a retelling; as Ransom realizes at the end, God never tells the same story twice.

At first I had a hard time with this statement:

If he now failed [to keep Eve from the original sin], this world also would hereafter be redeemed. If he were not the ransom, another would be. Yet nothing was ever repeated. Not a second crucifixion; perhaps-who knows-not even a second Incarnation... some act of even more appalling love, some glory of yet deeper humility.

My first reaction was to think "how could be anything greater than Christ dying for us? How is there any greater love?" But I think the point Lewis is trying to make here is that we simply cannot fathom the glories of God, the limitlessness of His plans - "His understanding no one can fathom." (Isaiah 40:29).

I liked how the serpents in this story are actually good creatures - Satan is represented by a different creature altogether, but I tell you, he will seriously give you chills.

Another neat twist in this story is the Lady's (symbolic of Eve) responses to Satan's temptations. She has her own brand of fascinating logic, which at first appears childishly naive, but is innocent and wise enough to hold its own with the millenia of Satan's accumulated experience and cunning. Lewis must have brainstormed for YEARS to come up with the dialogue in this book. It's not clever; it's more than clever.
This excerpt is a glimpse into the Lady's different perspectives:

"I mean," said Ransom, "a night is not a very long time."

She thought again, and then spoke suddenly, her face lightening. "I see it now. You think times have lengths. A night is always a night whatever you do in it, as from this tree to that is always so many paces whether you take them quickly or slowly. I suppose that is true in a way. But the waves do not always come at equal distances. I see that you come from a wise world... if this is wise. I have never done it before, stepping out of life into the Alongside and looking at oneself living as if one were not alive. Do they all do that in your world, Piebald?"

Here is a very interesting temptation that Ransom struggles with on Perelandra:

Looking at a fine cluster of the bubbles which hung above his head he thought how easy it would be to get up and plunge oneself through the whole lot of them and to feel, all at once, that magical refreshment multiplied tenfold. But he was restrained by the same sort of feeling which had restrained him from tasting a second gourd... this itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards... was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself - perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defense against chance, a security for being able to have things over again, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film.

And a related quote:

Perhaps the experience had been so complete that repetition would be vulgarity - like asking to hear the same symphony twice in a day.

There are some interesting discussions between Ransom and the Lady about the Eldil, the name used for angels. Apparently, the Lady has never encountered angels before. Ransom wonders why they do not appear on Perelandra, when they were the ruling beings on Malacandra (the planet he visits in the previous book).

"Eldila," said Ransom. "the great and ancient servants of Maleldil... whose bodies are made of light. Whom we can hardly see. Whom ought to be obeyed."

She mused for a moment and then spoke. "Sweetly and gently this time Maleldil makes me older. He shows me all the natures of these blessed creatures. But there is no obeying them now, not in this world. That is all the old order, Piebald, the far side of the wave that has rolled past us and will not come again. That very ancient world to which you journeyed was put under the eldila. In our own world also they ruled once; but not since our Beloved became a Man. In your world they linger still. But in our world, which is the first of worlds to wake after the great change, they have no power. There is nothing now between us and Him. They have grown less and we have increased. And now Maleldil puts into my mind that this is their glory and their joy. They received us - us things of the low world... weak and small beasts whom their lightest touch could destroy; and their glory was to cherish us and make us older till we were older than they - till they could fall at our feet. It is a joy we shall not have... but it is a joy beyond all. Not that it is better joy than ours. Every joy is beyond all others. The fruit we are eating is always the best fruit of all."

I also loved how when the two eldil prepare to show themselves as distinct figures to the Lady and her husband, they first try on a couple "appearances" to Ransom to see how they would be received by humans - first they appear as the winged cherubim, "a tornado of sheer monstrosities... darting pillars filled with eyes, lightning pulsations of flame, talons and beaks and billowy masses of what suggest snow, volleyed through cubes and heptagons into an infinite black void. The next appearance they tried was of wheels turning within wheels. Then at last they tried the image of man, but giants, and burning white like white-hot iron. (Ezekiel 1)

Here is a descriptive excerpt that startled me with the reversed perspective of sea above and mountains below:

...an exquisite haze like vaporized amethyst and emerald and gold... the edge of this haze rose as he rose, and became at last the horizon of the sea, high lifted above the hills. And the sea grew ever larger and the mountains less, and the horozon of the sea rose and rose till all the lower mountains behind him seemed to be lying at the bottom of a great bowl of sea.

Such beautiful descriptions! It reminds me a little of the way Tolkien so lovingly described some of the beautiful places in Middle Earth. I also loved this summation of the beauty of the planet Perelandra (Venus) in comparison to Malacandra (Mars), its older sister:

Malacandra seemed to him to have the look of one standing armed, on the ramparts of his own remote archaic world, in ceaseless vigilance, his eyes ever roaming the earthward horizon whence his danger came long ago. A sailor's look... eyes that are impregnated with distance.

But the eyes of Perelandra opened, as it were, inward, as if they were the curtained gateway to a world of waves and murmurings and wandering airs, of life that rocked in winds and splashed on mossy stones and descended as the dew and arose sunward in thin-spun delicacy of mist.

I will finally end this long post with my most favorite quote of all from Perelandra. It includes a reference to Job 38: 1-7, which were the verses I read many years ago when God first opened my eyes to His truth.

Listening hard, he could hear nothing but the low murmurous noise of warm wind and gentle swell. The suggestion of music must have been from within. But as soon as he lay down again he felt assured that it was not. From without, most certainly from without, but not by the snse of hearing, festal revelry an dance and splendour poured into him - no sound, yet in such fashion that it could not be remembered or thought of except as music. It was like having a new sense. It was like being present when the morning stars sang together.

1000 gifts: lilacs and snow drifts

Continuing my list of gifts, blessings that I write down to remember all the wonderful things that God gives me along life's journey (from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience).

299. Giant summer snow drifts 
After church, we drove up to the Snowy Range to see the snow drifts. The mountains had a record snowfall this year, and on June 12 this is how much snow was left!

300. Discovering lilacs
On the same day we were playing in the snow (see above) we drove back down into summer, into our town at the height of lilac season. Though we have two beautiful blossoming crabapple trees in our yard, I've always been sad we don't have any lilacs (I planted one a few years ago, but it still hasn't bloomed). But this afternoon Blaze discovered four little lilac bushes in our side yard - we've been here 5 years now and this was the first year we discovered them! It must be the first year they've bloomed. 


301. Everything I want, I already have
Visited Heather after her surgery. Still a little groggy from her pain medications, she was still excited to show me all her beautiful cards and flowers. Another friend had framed a plaque for her with the Latin saying:

Omnia quae cupio iam habeo =  Everything I want, I already have.

Together we marveled how even in the midst of this trial she is having with cancer, she can still say, with God's grace, that she's been blessed with everything.

302. Indian winters
Heather also made this cute comment about our wintry Laramie springs: they are like "Indian winters" (a take on the term "Indian summer": when you get summery weather again after the first frost in the fall)

303. The advantages creative writers might have
These are some great insights I found on Saumya's wonderful blog:

"Creative people tend to tolerate uncertainty better" 

"Writing allows us to reflect and reflection prevents burnout because we can derive meaning from what we are doing all the time." 

"The world wants us to fit into templated narratives and it's a writer's duty to defy that want."

304. Stars in your soul

This quote is worthy of a place of its own in my gift list.

"What Is Love? I have met in the streets a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, the water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul" — Victor Hugo

305. "A good tree to climb"
That was Dreamer's comment about the cottonwood in our backyard that she loved to climb (until she had a scary encounter with a spider sharing her branch). All four girls love this tree; here they are planning some sort of mischief:

306. A variation on the Footprints in the Sand poem

This is from Beth Moore's Breaking Free study: (full text here)

"Imagine going to heaven and standing by God as he lovingly shows you the calendar of his plan for your earthly life...."Father, are those my footprints on the calendar every day and is the second set of prints when You joined me?"

He answers, "No, My precious Child. The consistent footprints on your calendar are Mine.  The second set of footprints are when you joined Me."

"Where were You going, Father?"

"To the destiny I planned for you, hoping you'd follow."

"But, Father, where are my footprints all those times?"

He answers, "Sometimes you went back to look at old resentments and habits while I was still going forward, hoping you'd join Me.  Sometimes, you departed from My path and chose your own calendar instead.Other times, your footprints can even be seen on another person's calendar, because you thought you liked their plan better. At other times, you simply stopped, because you would not let go of something you could not take to the next day."

307.  Unexpected gift certificates
I took a couple friends from Bible study horseback riding, and a couple days later Lindsay sent me a thank-you card with a gift certificate for dinner at Altitude, one of our favorite restaurants.

308. Doggie easter egg hunts
Dreamer set up an "easter egg hunt" for our dog, Remie. She enlisted the help of the twins and they hid doggie treats all over the yard, then took Remie around to all the spots to find them.

309. A tea party for two
Lately Dreamer, my seven year old, has been lamenting about how she'll never be as good as Blaze (my 9 year old). Blaze is always better at drawing, at making things, at swimming, everything. Even though both my mom and I have explained to her it simply seems that way because Blaze is 2 years older, Dreamer still struggles with this. I invited Dreamer to have a tea party with me in our flower garden, just the two of us. She was thrilled! - and I haven't heard her worrying about Blaze being ahead of her since then. Reminded me I have to be careful to give each of my girls individual attention.

310. A funny tale about horse tails
Stars called me and told me to look at  a picture of her horse, Roy, that she posted on Facebook - she had just shown Roy for the first time with his new "two-pound tail" - (real horse hair that is clipped into the existing tail to make it look longer and fuller for shows). It was a beautiful tail indeed - though I was still sorrowing over Blaze cutting almost a foot off the length of her horse's tail. I was so happy that Spring's tail, which was short when we bought her last fall, had finally grown out to proper length... Blaze didn't realize that she wasn't supposed to cut so much off it.

311. Stable friendships
Stars also posted this on her Facebook page, and I reposted it:

If you want a stable friendship, get a horse.

312. The most vivid rainbow I've seen yet

 I've seen lots of gorgeous rainbows out here in the land of the big skies - including a quadruple rainbow in 2006, right after finding out I was having twin girls - a quadruple rainbow for my four girls! But this one was definitely the brightest rainbow I've yet seen, from our backyard. The picture, of course, doesn't do it justice.

1000 gifts: Asheville NC, mohitos and Melissa

I got to spend a couple days with my high school friend, Melissa in Asheville, NC over Memorial Day weekend. I hadn't seen in her 10 years, but it was like no time had passed at all! So here I continue my list of gifts, blessings that I write down to remember all the wonderful things that God gives me along the journey (from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience). I'm still struggling with depression (SAD), but the gifts keep accumlating, and it's possible I appreciate them even more in the midst of depression.

Before I get to my North Carolina adventure, a few end of school year things:

275. Birthday cupcakes.
Dreamer's birthday was May 17 and I brought cupcakes to school for a little school party. After all the kids sang her Happy Birthday, Dreamer asked me to stay (there was only about an hour left of school). I hadn't planned on staying, but how could I refuse on her birthday? And I've got to enjoy these years when I'm still the greatest thing in the world to my kids, when they want to show me off in front of their friends and teacher!

276. Giggles.
Dreamer's ballet recital rehearsal was the next day, and she was so excited about getting to perform up on stage! When we entered the big auditorium for her rehearsal - she couldn't stop giggling. Dreamer giggles when she's excited, and it's contagious.

277. Dance recitals.
Saturday was her actual ballet recital. She got to dress us as a bride and the girls in her class did a dance called "La Mariee" by Marc Chagall, to a beautiful classical piece that I'd never heard before, but now I love: The Great Russian Easter Wedding March by Rimsky-Korsakov. I love all the other dances too, tap, jazz, hiphop and Irish step (I love the Irish step especially because the whole audience gets involved clapping and yelling). The costumes are always fun, too. One of my favorites were the little girls dressed up in jungle gear and tap dancing to the elephant's march from Disney's Jungle Book.


278. Texting.
B. tried to call me during Dreamer's recital to see if Blaze had come outside yet to be picked up for her friends' swimming party. I couldn't talk to him so I texted him back. Texting is so much fun! I loved our little "conversation": B: I'm a bissy man send her a runnin or no swimmy. Me: I'm in the middle of a recital! B: Just march right up on that stage grab her and tell them people my husband wants dinner what are you all thinking?

279. Last favorite things.
One more thing relating to ballet - Dreamer came and told me, "Some people at school don't like ballet." I told her, "well, people have different favorite things and some things they don't like to do." Dreamer thought for a minute and then asked, very plaintively, "why can't ballet be their last favorite thing?"

280. Casa BonitasAfter the recital, we drove down to Denver for Dreamer's birthday party at Casa Bonita's. It wasn't a real party (it was just our family) but that giant resaturant, with a waterfall, a high dive show, actors dressed up as pirates, gorillas and princesses, pinatas, puppet shows, and Black Bart's cave, is better than any party I could come up with for girls on my own!

281. Refocus stations.
Blaze and Dreamer told me about the "refocus station" at school. Apparently when you get in trouble these days at school, the old threats we used to deal with - a dunce's cap, detention - have been replaced with something with a more more constructive title - a "refocus station." I'm not quite clear how it works, but the name just cracked me up.

282. Critique partners.
I've found a new "critique partner" via my writing blog, another writer of youn adult fiction, and we exchanged our stories (well, she sent me her entire novel - which was WONDERFUL! I had a hard time finding anything to critique about it; it's ready for publication) and I sent her my first three chapters (the rest of my novel still needs major revision). But my partner's response to my first three chapters was very encouraging. She found some things I needed to fix, but they weren't major. Her words: "I like this. I really, REALLY like this." Music to my ears!

283. Dismissed fees.
I forgot to file a form with the IRS last year, and they threatened a $700 fee! I sent them the missing paperwork, and said a prayer. This week I got a letter saying they were dismissing the fee! Hallelujah!

284. Great quotes‎"The world will not starve for want of wonders, but for want of wonder." G. K. Chesteron

285. Beautiful riding.
Stars posted a video of her riding her horse Roy without bridle or saddle, walking, trotting and loping in circles and doing patterns - even backward steps and a perfect 360 degree turn on the quarters!

286. The filling of the Holy Spirit.
Beth Moore's Breaking Free study continues to give me wonderful insights into the Bible and my spiritual walk. She talks about how the Holy Spirit is like a great flood of water pouring into your life. The only places it can't fill are the places that where you won't yield - your "high places". It is entirely possible to be filled with the Holy Spirit but still have high places you haven't yielded yet - stubborn spots the Lord is still working on you to give up. I could think of a few I'm still hanging onto...

287. Old friends, far away but not forgotten.
Visiting Melissa! Oh my goodness a friendship that stands the test of time is a true treasure! When she picked me up from the airport in Greenville, SC, I got to meet her daughters Molly (13) and Emily (10) for the first time, and then I got to meet Ho Ward, which is what they've named their talking GPS. Yes, I've been living in the dark ages, I've never heard an onboard GPS give directions before. They had all sorts of stories to tell me about the pros and cons of GPS and the particularities of a computer voice (I wanted to hear the Australian version of Ho Ward).

288. MohitosMelissa had a barbeque to reaquint me with her family and introduce me to her new friends and she introduced to me to a new drink, "the mohito": a freshing lime, mint, seltzer and rum concoction. Delicious.

289. The Grove ParkA grand old hotel and spa. I took pictures of Molly standing inside its giant fireplaces (it reminded me a more rustic version of the Homestead in Virginia). We also drove by the Biltmore (too expensive to actually go in - we admired from afar).

290. Pink ghosts.
The Grove Park is supposedly haunted by the Pink Lady, who is not a frightening ghost - the worst she does is tickle your toes while you are sleeping.

291. Star shops and street performers.
We walked around downtown Asheville, listened to street performers - Asheville reminds me of the outdoor mall in Boulder, Colorado. We popped in and out of all the little boutiques. At one store you could buy real dinosaur bones and fossils. My favorite though was the Star Shop, where you could buy these beautiful painted paper lanterns in the shape of stars.

293. Old-timey general stores.
Another great store in downtown Asheville is Mast's General store, like stepping back in a time fifty years or so (well, except for the prices). I loved the barrels of full of old-fashioned candy in the back. While picking out some treats to take home to my daughters, I heard another shopper exclaim "I haven't seen some of these candies in forty years!" They even had horehound candy (famous from Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books).

294. Mugs and maps
Whenever I visit a new place, I like to get a local map of it (I was picking on Melissa for not having any Asheville maps and relying so much on her GPS). And I like to bring home a mug. Because then when I'm sipping my tea in the morning, the mug brings back memories.

295. Fusion restaurants, flavor explosionsWe ended the day at a delicious restaurant, Curras, which serves Mexican fusion - not sure what that is exactly, but my scallop enchilada was a perfect explosion of different flavors.

296. Creatively-named chocolates.
I dragged Melissa and the girls into a shop called the Chocolate Fetish, because I love to discover new flavors of chocolate! I tried a truffle called "the Dragon's Sigh" - listen to this heavenly description: "sprinked with white and black sesame seeds, enrobed in a creamy smmoth dark choclate overture, the full flavored dark chocolate center will tackle your tongue with a light taste of Wasabi." I also tried the "Midsummer Night's Dream" truffle - chocolate infused with fresh lavender, locally produced honey, and hint of lemon, and admired more creative truffle names such as "High Tea" "French Velvet" "Wine and Roses" and "Ancient Pleasures."

297. Mountain driving.
After another delicious meal on Sunday, brunch at the "Laughing Seed" (love that name!) we went driving up along the Blue Ridge Parkway, through real mountain tunnels, and hiking through "tunnels" of rhodendron. I am used to mountain driving, but I've never encountered such narrow scary little roads as the ones in the countryside surrounding Asheville. You really do not want to encounter another car coming the opposite direction!

298. Silliness that you never outgrow.
"I am in love to help you, Miss Meleeeeeeesa" - not sure how to explain this one, except to say that it's classic Melissa. We were silly like this all the time in high school, so nice to see we haven't outgrown it.

1000 gifts: April blizzards, May storms

In the rest of America, the saying is "April showers bring May flowers," but here at 7200 ft in Laramie, Wyoming, it's more like "April blizzards bring more May storms." I've had my worst fight with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) this year. I didn't struggle with this at all for the first couple years after the twins were born, but last year it came back with a vengeance and this year has been even worse.

We don't seem to get as many breaks in the bad weather as we used to, and March and April are particularly hard because I know every where else there are signs of spring, but we just get more and more winter.

Nevertheless, God continues to give me little gifts, and I write them down on my calendar and give praise back to Him. 1000 gifts is an idea from Ann Voskamp's book and her blog, A Holy Experience.

256. Woodstove fires.
Blaze is our "fire-girl." (I guess I chose her nickname well!) She has gotten so good at building fires in our wood stove, it's become her official job.

257. Bumper stickers.
This one made me look twice: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind."

258. Advanced reader copies
I received my first "ARC" in the mail, or Advanced Reader Copy. Now that I have an established writing and book-review blog, I am eligible to receive ARCS (for free!) from publishers - months before they are available for sale. In return, all they ask is promotion on my blog. I already raved/reviewed Possession, a futuristic young adult novel by Elana Johnson, on my writing blog, but I'll mention it here, too. If you liked mind benders (like the movie Inception) you might like Possession. Inception blows your mind with dreams within dreams; Possession blows your mind with mind control and trying to guess who is controlling who.

259. Baby cars
You know that great Disney movie, Cars, where there are no humans at all and the people are cars and trucks and the livestock are tractors? Lightning McQueen falls in love with a Porsche. Well, they never showed any baby cars in that movie. I wonder if they have kid cars and baby cars in the sequel movie? I had fun imagining that scenario!

260. The potter and the clay.
From my Beth Moore study, Breaking Free, I found these powerful verses, Jeremiah 18:1-12, about the potter and the clay; I wonder if this is where the famous verses in Romans 9:19-21 come from. The Lord has Jeremiah visit a potter and watch him make clay vessels to illustrate his point.

261. Crazy ideas.
Character idea (probably already taken, but it's still fun): a character for a book who's special gift is seeing every person's "inner animal". This is different than saying "he's like a fox" or "she's like a tiger." This is more like your hidden personality, or potential, not your most apparent one.

262. Fun things your daughters say.
Dreamer tells me: "I am powerful and flexible." I ask her if she heard that at school. She says, "Nobody taught me this. I figured it out myself."

263. How important children are to God.
Another important lesson from Beth Moore's study: Matt 18:1-8. She shares some of experience of how she was abused as a child, and yet still God used this terrible thing for many great purposes.

264. Morning walks.
Now that it is lighter in the mornings, I am starting to get out and walk more, which helps the winter blues. At the end of my walk I always visit our horses and spend some time rubbing their faces and "talking to them."

265. The Bible is relevant, at any time, at any age. Stars called me and told me about this wonderful book she'd read, "Heaven is for Real." (This book deserves a post all to itself). Anyway, Stars said the book reaffirmed her faith in God, though she said she struggles with the Bible - is it really relevant? I told her it was, more than any other book in the world, because it is how God speaks to us, and it gives a blue print for living a fulfilling life.

266. Happy medicine.
B.'s brother and his family came to visit for a weekend and the girls had so much fun with their cousins Br., T and D. . R.B. and J.B. had us busting up laughing several times, it was like an instant shot of happy medicine.

267. Old horses that never give up.
We got the horses out for the kids to ride and I was delighted to see that Rebel was still full of energy, still "leading the pack" at 29 years old!

268. Prayer beads.
At my women's Bible study (which I'm now hosting at my house) we talked about the importance of prayer, how to make it more of a priority and how to stay concentrated during prayer instead of wandering off to plan the grocery list or other things. Heather shared that she uses prayer beads (not a rosary) but a bead each a different color for each family member and close friends and it helps her remember to pray for everyone.

269. Sharing parenting tips.
Also from the Bible study, another friend, Tuesday, shared some advice on parenting, on dealing with attitude (which I'm getting a lot from Blaze, lately) - it's such good advice I'm going to write a whole post on it. The basic gist: many times your kids don't even realize how their attitude appears to others.

270. Not being afraid to fall off.
Lunch with Heather. She told me to look up Francis Chan's videos on YouTube (he's the author of Crazy Love, another must read). This video called the Balance Beam is something every Christian should watch. The basic premise is that it's easy to get caught up in accumulating things and then hanging on to them, that we aren't willing to take risks anymore for God. If life is like a balance beam, we hug it close and creep across carefully so we won't fall off. Then at the very end of our safe little lives we "dismount" the beam and stand up and look to God to see if he liked our "performance." Very convicting!

271. Promotions.
B. got a promotion at work, and he's only been working there for 4 months. He has better hours now, too, no longer has to work through the night plowing when there is a blizzard. He works four 10 hour days, and has Fridays off, so we really like that too. (Now the new position has it own set of issues and challenges, things we are praying about - issues with his foreman).

272. Morning notes.With his new hours, B. has to be at work at 6:30, so when he's running late he doesn't have time to feed Rebel in the morning (our old horse). So then he leaves me these adorable notes on the kitchen counter: "Please feed Rebel the debel, the old crafty one" and another time: "Please feed the other handsome man."

273. Good can come from cancer.
Heather was diagnosed with breast cancer in April and had a double mastectomy in May. I visited her a couple days after her surgery (she was only in the hospital one night!) and she was a little groggy from pain pills but very optimistic. She said her reconstructed breasts were actually an improvement over the old pair! Other good news: the surgeon felt confidant that he got all the cancer and that it hadn't spread. She may not even need to have chemo, but still too soon to tell. Heather amazes me with her strong faith since finding out this scary news. She's sure that the Lord will use this to help her reach many more people and share her faith.

274: Worship songs
I have a new favorite song at church. Well, I have lots of favorites. But this one moved me to tears recently: "All I have is Christ" (I even emailed Karen the lyrics).

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

Sullivan Ballou's letter to his wife Sarah

July the 14th, 1861
Washington DC


My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan